DRY 11

[TeapotDictator]

Time for a shiny new thread.

Old thread here

can I come back? had to change name - was yellowfloss. Disappeared for a week or so there cos I had decided to--wait for it-MODERATE hahahahaha! led to an all out binge all week. Decided to start day 1 again for a fresh start. so here I am. day 1. feel like I don't want to but I do iyswim. its tough getting back into it.

Hi all. Have had a read through. So good to see so many new people. I know how it feels to really struggle and be up.one day down the Nextel, indifferent net, angry, happy, sad. All the emotions are sorely tested when you stop drinking. Hang on and think of each minute as a new minute in your new life!
Had a busy morning. Took dd10 to her first horse riding lesson. She has been riding twice on h holidays in Portugal and has been desperate for lessons. Found a cheapish -if that is possible!- place a few miles out and she loved it🐎 argh! That's me skint for the rest of her teenage life😁 still, I would rather she did this. I used to love it too so can see why she does. Had a run when we got back and am n ow flopped out thinking about ironing!

vxa I went to AA for a short while but it really didn't do it for me I'm afraid.I wasn't impressed, but many t people swea r it is the best way. Maybe go to one or two and see how you get on?
Have a good evening everyone

Sorry flossie - xpost. Yes I used to 'moderate' too 😂😂 It seems such a good idea at the time. Just remember how rubbish you felt and hop back on !

I have avoided AA although I know many people , personally and here who have had good experiences... Some less so.

For some it has been a great success ....

I did try AA before. I do think you have to try it. When I went I really wasn't ready for it I just couldn't get my head round 'giving up' now I don't see it as giving up but as gaining.
However I have chosen not to go back as I see my sober journey as moving on. With AA I just felt like it was an exercise in self flagellation. Beating yourself up and almost obsessing over alcohol.
I have a friend who attends regularly and she loves it. We are all different.
I did some terrible things when I was drunk and the nature of the meeting was sharing and talking about it. I don't want to rehash the past. It was terrible
I'd love an alternative group based on socialising AF and wafting around on our pink clouds. .
My night out was last night (not tonight I was nearly a day late )
It was bloody amazing. Two of us weren't drinking. The conversation was exactly the same the laughter was exactly the same.
I ordered the most expensive thing on the menu and it was still a cheap night out.
I was amazed not to come under any pressure (well maybe a little at the beginning) and the drinkers amongst us actually said that they are taking a look at their own habits.
oh and the joy of walking to my car whacking the heating on and taking myself home when I had had enough. Priceless

Sounds like a great evening! Agree about AA. Would rather not drone on about what I did thanks !

Hello everyone.
Thanks for the encouraging words earlier. I'm back home now, Sober! It was ok took the kids out for a few hours then went back to hers, she invited us to stay for tea and I got a little bit anxious but the kids wanted to so I agreed. I'd told her I wasn't drinking and that I'd not drank for 12 days I didn't go into loads of detail just said cost, weight loss etc etc...She didn't drink either so that made it alot easier and I used the excuse my littlest was getting tired and grumpy for us to leave.
vxa glad the headaches have passed now. I have been thinking about AA also, but I think I'd struggle with finding the time without having to take the kids 😂 . If I really start to struggle I may think again about it.
lily thanks for the advice I took pomegranate juice and hot choc which definitely impressed the kids ☺That was the first time I've been "out" and in a situation where I would have drank before, I haven't been out out as of yet. It's my sons birthday next week so that will be a first as in out for a meal without drinking I am slightly nervous about that but will try not to think that far ahead.
Hello flossie Happy day 1 ☺
dona I agree with re hashing the terrible things we've done whilst drunk, I don't think that would be for me, at this time anyway! I can't say I won't go in the future though.
Does anyone know how you go about getting a sponsor? Is it only through AA that you can find one? I know a friend of mine really did hit rock bottom with alcohol and went to rehab,I know she has a sponsor but I didn't think she went to AA.

boodles don't dismiss AA. I was lucky that I could go to day meetings but I explained that I couldn't go to a lot of meetings and I made friends with a lovely girl who I could phone anytime. So not a sponsor but someone who really wanted to support.
As I mentioned it really wasn't the time for me but it works for a lot of people.

dona no of course I wouldn't dismiss it as I said not for me at this time but not to say I wouldn't attend in the future if needed. I was wondering if there were other places that offer sponsors or if it was a service just available from AA.

I think the AA sponsor thing is quite a serious commitment programme .. The sponsor has to have been clean got 12 months minimum and commits to 'working the steps' with the new joiner. My understanding is that if this is done properly and seriously it will take some months ...

You can 'see' the steps here ...

^1.We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

1. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
2. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
3. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
4. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
5. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
6. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
7. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
8. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.^

Many members use a 'higher power ' concept rather than God , I believe ...

I am so ashamed of somethings I have done when drinking I could not admit them in public... I can barely look at them myself. - All I can do, is do better in the future, and do NOT do it again ...

And boodles WELL DONE !!!!!!!! And also to you Dona :-) xx

boodles I only stressed that because I do feel I give it a bad rap sometimes.
I know I haven't been as posting as regularly as I used to but I honestly think the only reason I am dry is because of this thread. I've been to DAAT and AA my GP and what worked? You lovely bunch!
This thread is my sponsor
I haven't posted as much because I got very busy with work (self employed) and I was at peace with my 'dryness' and I had a virus
I didn't have time to read and felt wary of dipping in and being all me, me, me.
I found the latter part of the Easter holidays a bit of a struggle so I have come back with a vengeance.
I guess I am saying in a cack handed way is can we be your sponsors if it helps?

Wel done for coming through your outings safely, Dona and Boodles. Yes to ordering the most expensive thing on the menu and it still being a cheap night! I do that too, or I have a starter and a pudding to boot. In the past it was all about the drink. Now it is the food and the company, and I find myself being a bit more choosy about going at all.

AA's not for me. I'm leaning on you guys, and reading shitloads of books and blogs.

Hey all. Sorry for being awol. Lots of stuff going on, but still sober. :)

molly so pleased to see you!!!! You were a massive influence on me at the start, and it is so good to see you again. [waves]

AA... well, I am trying it... been about 7 times now. I am committing to it 5 meetings at a time, if that makes sense.... so after my 10th meeting I will review, then after 15 etc. I like it right now.... loads of laughter. The rehashing of stories tends to make us all laugh our heads off in recognition (and sometimes cry... have heard some devastating stuff) and serves to act as a confirmation/reminder that alcohol brings only pain. That said, some people have been going for 20 odd years and I DO think that after 20 years I dont want to be stuck in a room rehashing the same stuff and stuck in the past. It is giving me something for now and that is al i need to know for now. Not thinking beyond that.

I would say that this thread has a greater impact on me in terms of being DRY though. I am more 'me' here, and I love you all [sniff sniff] and love reading your posts.

Hi dona how did you find DAAT? I had a welcome meeting with my local service last week and I am waiting for my worker to be allocated. They said it will be 12 week programme made up mainly of 6 workshops and then we are encouraged to go to other groups etc. I was hoping for a bit more one to one stuff but I know I need to be grateful because what's on offer is much more than a lot of people get. Was your service similar ?

Agree absolutely with what others have said about this board. Without the support here I don't think I would have made it as far as I have (Day 11) so thank you everyone !

Vxa I wanted to be prescribed antabuse and they didn't want to prescribe it for me. I was going through a lot of shit at the time with my children's father and was also involved with WA. I missed two appointments and when I tried to rearrange my support worker had mysteriously 'left' so all in all it was a bit of a shit time and again I don't feel it was the 'right' time
so I drank for another five years! Go me!

Sorry I missed that they didn't want to give antabuse without trying counselling/ workshop. I just wanted a magic wand. They were lovely though.

The original Dry thread and those following were my 'sponsors' too! I understand that 😊

Morning all! Lovely day here so about to go out for run but before I do wanted to chime in on the whole AA/sponsor thing. I like many here have attended a few meetings at different times and venues to see if it was for me. Can't say it was at the time but then I was already 8 months sober when I went to my first meeting so if that made a difference I don't know. At the drug and alcohol treatment centre where I volunteer it is a big part of the process and they attend two meetings a week while in rehab minimum and encourage anyone pre-rehab to attend. If you are interested in hearing a discussion about working the steps I did an interview series with Veronica Valli who is an addictions specialist and a big advocate of AA and sponsors people herself. If you want to watch them you can find them here although one of the steps is missing as our Skype quality was poor that day and we were recording with me here and her in the US! I also consider this thread, other online communities such as Soberistas and Living Sober, and the sober blogs as my support community so hence why AA never really stuck for me. I say try everything and anything because we are all different and what works for one won't work for another and that's part of the learning process :)

Morning All
I have re read My post and it does seem a tad defensive woops 😩 . I didn't mean it to be I just didn't want to seem as though I was dismissing it completely as I'm aware that it helps alot of people, and whatever works to keep us all away from the bottle is completely up to the individual. My questions about sponsors Was really to do with my friend to be honest and not for me personally. After reading the steps it's clear that she must be with AA. We lost contact all to do with alcohol related stuff and I'm figuring she is on steps 8 "making amends". Which of course I have but don't feel it's the right time for her recovery to burden her with mine, or bombard her with questions.
I agree this thread has been a massive help, just to check in and say I'm still here, still muddling through makes you accountable somewhere!
dona easter hols here too, just going into second week and agree it's tough going. This morning I think I've broken up at least 10,000 arguments and calmed down 20,000 tantrums 😭 !! Bonus is, I am actually dealing with them properly and not just in a hungover fog doing anything for a bit of peace!

Have a good day all.

Thanks lucy I will take a look. I have started listening to the Bubble Hour www.thebubblehour.com/?m=1 I am finding really useful - it's worth a listen. SoberMummy is also great. I am finding both a good distraction when the urge for a drink kicks in.

dona I tried to get my GP to prescribe for me last year but she said I would need a referral to an alcohol service and they would advise. At that point I was mortified at the thought so I went away and carried on drinking. At that time I thought it would be an easy option for me I suppose I just wasn't ready at that time I just wanted it to stop.

vxa I agree the Bubble Hour is ace and you can read the blog of one of the co-hosts Jean over at unpickledblog.com/
Many GP's won't prescribe addiction management medication because it's a specialism where you have to take additional training so they will refer to the DAAT as the experts.

lily some of the things I have done while drunk I cringe at, and would never tell a soul. That's why I don't ever intend to drink again. It's all so painful to think about.

I went out yesterday afternoon for a girly high tea. Of course there was champagne! I just passed on it after pretending to toast the birthday girl with a glass.
I didn't even feel awkward!! Managed to socialise with no problems. (Used to use alcohol for social anxiety)

The posts have got away from me, but it's good to see people managing to get through the AF days. I promise, it gets so much easier, until it's only an occasional blip on the radar when you might think about drinking. to all having a tough time.

Re AA - I never did it as I don't like speaking in public. I've never said the words I'm an alcoholic, and I don't even know if I am. I have a problem with alcohol. But it no longer defines me.

Good night all. Been a busy weekend and off to bed (Southern Hemisphere) xxx

day 2. it's tough. why do I find this so hard? want a bottle of wine (plus) so much. but I won't

Hang on in there flossie it is hard and you are doing the hardest bit. I am at Day 11 and it really does get easier. The best advice I have had is to think about now and not about the future and when I have cravings go for 5 minutes at a time. What can you do to distract yourself ? Walk, bath, read Sober Mummy blog ??

Stay strong you CAN do it.