DRY 11

[TeapotDictator]

Time for a shiny new thread.

Old thread here

Can I recommend Andrew Johnson Stop Drinking app? ( or any other app he does) Also Headspace - first 10 sessions are free and then it is £5 a month - a bottle of wine saved a month!!! And it really does help I promise. Day 91 here consecutively sober and 500 /535 total sober days since July 2014 so I have tried, failed and tried again a number of times. I view each drinking slip as a learning experience and hope to keep on being sober as long as I can :)

Hi everyone.

Lily, I could have written your post almost word for word. I was on a previous thread under a different username for a while then slipped off into oblivion as I thought I had it all under control (again) and could drink 'normally'.

I am now in the process of changing my life for good. My absolute came through last week and I have changed my name back to what it was before I became dependant on wine to get me through each day.

I am on day 4 so very early days. I find these first few weeks quite easy, it's maintaining it for the long haul that I struggle with. But I will keep telling myself that Ms bestyears does not drink.

Glad, teapot, even when I've been drinking I've been lurking and following your progress. I hope that in 2 or 3 threads time I will still be here and still succeeding as you are.

Thanks fuzzy, I'll take a look at that blog tomorrow.

Hi best, I too have realised I will probably never be able to drink 'normally' either and I'm currently heartbroken by the revelation but there it is.

I guess you're all sensibly tucked up in bed by now, as am I, just had a lovely shower and now listening to the shipping forecast in bed with the cat purring away but just wanted to say well done for managing another clear day (and that goes for me too, I had a real wobble earlier) and best of luck to us all tomorrow. We can do this!

matron thank you for your input earlier on. The more I read on these threads the more I feel like it's not just me, it will be difficult but I will be strong and I have made the right decision to quit.

Lily I too am still dying of shame from the weekend and it's the thought of taking control of myself so I never get like that again which is spurring me on. Let's walk away from it with these good people one day at a time.

Hello!

How are you feeling today, Notgrumpy?

bestyears, I am early days like you: day 9 here

I have done this so many times. I really want to stop going back to square one. I can do weeks, and then my downfall is always the same thing: seeing my family (I mean parents and sister - I have a brother too but he doesn't make me drink - and I live with dp and dcs and they don't make me drink)

I've crashed through so many other drinking occasions that don't trouble me any more.

Work stress / failures - no problem have a cup of tea instead

work successes - no problem, go out and have a soft drink with them instead (this is harder and less fool proof but I can do it and have often)

Exhausted, tearful, scared and pissed off - have a cup of tea and go to bed

Standing up socialising with a lot of unfamiliar people - have a fizzy water, smile, ask them a lot of questions about themselves and promise yourself you can go home when you need to

Seeing my parents - WHERE'S THE BOTTLE? and the next one and the next one and the next one....

So, I have to crack this. Not today, not tomorrow (not seeing them) but ... eventually.

Last time I saw my parents they stayed for nearly a week and I lost about another week to low level depression after that dealing with the hangover. That's why I really have to stop drinking. Because I drink so much it makes me depressed and it's a waste of life.

Hi how only day 3 for for me so I'm not really sure how I feel! Naively optimistic probably. I think you've outlined all the worry I've got about this not drinking thing, how the heck am I going to get through all the good and bad times without a drink? Somehow a nice cold J20 doesn't have the same appeal. I'm trying to turn those thoughts over and focus on the hangovers and embarrassment I'll not have to endure rather than the booze I won't get to drink. I really envy people who can just have a couple just like I envy social smokers but I'm not either.

Hi everyone.

I do love these threads but have been too ashamed and unworthy feeling to come back since I slipped in June 2014.

grumpy the best advice I can offer - just take each situation as it comes. Don't look forward. Just deal with each day, and what it brings without a drink. Its easier than you imagine to 'do' Christmas/ birthdays/ celebrations without drinking - its thinking about 'doing it' sober that's hard ...

Day 4 for me.

bed is great. and safe. even if not asleep. There is no alcohol in the house and I will not buy any.

Today I will not drink

Welcome back bestyears and lily. Let go of that shame of slipping, one major revelation I've had since stopping drinking is that beating myself up about stuff only serves to make me less likely to change or succeed next time. So if for that reason alone, I try to keep away from self-flagellation.

Things are still v tough here, I've been on the phone to Women's Aid yesterday and today and starting to reach out as much as possible for support over the next few weeks. Final hearing set to take place in early April and I'm teetering on the edge with the stress of it all. Had to suspend contact completely at the weekend after I turned up as arranged with the DC and he had gone out, house in darkness and all blinds down. Cue two hysterical children screaming and crying as I tried to lead them back to the car. All so difficult, so testing. Woke up this morning to no electricity and having to dig very deep to find the resources inside to cope with the smallest thing.

One day at a time. Thank god I'm not drinking; it would only make everything ten times harder.

teapot sorry no useful words, but you sound strong. x

teapot that sounds awful. Good on you for widening your support network away from the bottle, it's no support at all as you realise.

I'm doing well so far today. I've turned down DP's offer of a trip to the pub to watch the last couple of races at Cheltenham (WHAT is the fucking matter with him? I have told him I am not drinking!) My hands are shaking (mostly rage I hope) but as soon as he's out the door I'm going to have Pot Noodle butties for my sober treat

teapot

I'm feeling a bit freaked. The woman from daat called me earlier, she wanted to move my appointment but it clashed with something else I have to do (which I have already missed this week). It's not desperately important I guess and she sounded a bit put out. I don't know what to do! Pathetic.

teapot I am really sorry you are having such an awful time - it sounds extremely stressful and I'm amazed you find the strength to maintain so riety through this !

Thank you all for the welcome back. I'm struggling tonight. There is no alcohol at all in the house so I can't drink, but I feel agitated and restless. Don't know what to do with myself. It's silly because I have not drunk in the week for three week prior to this one - so , at the moment, this week is no different ... But I am struggling big time tonight.

I am wondering whether I should confide in my GP and ask for a few days Valium - I had these last time and it helped so much in the first two weeks ... Only a tiny dose...

Fuck it! It's ok, I just brushed my teeth too

Tang that's really frustrating for you.

Hi lily maybe try telling yourself it's not the first 2 weeks you need to get through but just tonight.

Teapot most of all a big hello to you in support of your marvellous effort to navigate life sober. Keep on going you are inspirational

Where is my buddy jojo?

I am peaceful tonight. Had a business lunch and dinner party today (I was a guest for a change). Really enjoyed both events.

The more I write down my engagements on this thread the more I am realising what a big socialiser I am. It's a wonder I used to get anything done!

I was weighing up the pros and cons of getting a bong or maybe a sisha pipe. I have given up smoking tobacco ages ago.

I've never been a weed or pipe smoker so why this seemed an option worthy of consideration I have no idea. Guess I was just passing some time thinking how to fill a vacancy created by sobriety.

Hugs to you teapot, I remember you were going through a rough time last time I was on this thread, I hope things get better for you soon. As a previous poster said, you really are an inspiration.

I was weighing up the pros and cons of getting a bong or maybe a sisha pipe

Hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha

I took up coffee surprising what a high you can get off that as a tea drinker not very relaxing tho

Hello matron I am still here, cannot seem to get to my computer on a Monday & Tuesday. Think I had a bit of a pink cloud on Monday - all efficient and feeling good and joyful, was nice!! Back to normal yesterday just running around like a mad woman to all my various commitments. Feeling peaceful too in general...still thinking wistfully about wine most days but not in a dangerous way. You are doing so well with all your social stuff, am aware I will have few tests coming in that way. As for today though - second bellydance class tonight, eek!

jojo I agree it's still there in the background but not as a constant urgent desire. Enjoy the dance class I've got my bike out for a dust down today, whether I get on it is another thing but I do need a past time.

Hi jojo belly dancing? Check YOU out!

I had a fairly testing day yesterday. DP tried several times to get me to go to the pub with him and his mate 'just for a couple' which I resisted and when he eventually came home produced a bottle of wine and 2 glasses. Again I resisted and even put the second glass back in the cupboard where I couldn't hear it. I don't think I have managed to make my point that I have decided to stop. I feel quite undermined by it but I think it goes back to what I said the other day about him not seeing or believing that drink is a problem for me, despite the fact that it clearly is. I think me getting myself like that makes his behaviour seem relatively unproblematic. I've told him many times in the past that I've wanted to cut down or stop, that I don't want to/ can't drink as much or as often as he does and that he needs to find other drinking buddies but then after a few days I've got back on it, 'supported' by him saying he doesn't want other drinking buddies, he wants to spend his time with me so I suppose it's to be expected that he doesn't think this time will be any different, or want it to be any different.

I feel good though and I feel determined. I am having my hair cut today with the money I have already saved this week from not drinking and no doubt he will offer again to meet me in the pub afterwards.

Hi notgrumpy yes, bellydancing was my new 'not drinking' hobby as of last week!! A bit random but fun...kind of like me before I spent too much time and money on wine! Have bought a new and more flattering gym top to wear at it tonight as last weeks full length mirrors were something of a shock...

Your DP is really not on message yet is he? You are doing VERY well to not let it get to you. I guess you will just have to keep saying loud and clear. You sound much more positive now than in your first posts so hang onto that and think of as many strategies as possible to stay strong. A lot of people on here recommend hypnosis and relaxation apps and they are useful - I escape sometimes if I feel a craving and just lie down for 20 minutes listening to one and my resolve is then stronger. Exercise is also great as distraction and a mood lifter.

matron are you on your bike? Good for you!

Thanks jojo Urgh full length mirrors! yes I'm feeling good (now, today under the dryer at the salon although the magazines full of stick thin beautiful people they've given me to read aren't helping lol!) He tried again before I came out, did I fancy a couple later (well I'll come to the pub with you but I don't want to drink) and did I think I might be having a glass of wine later (Wednesday is in our house known as wines day where we get hammered - up to 3 bottles of red between us at one point - to herald the weekend) (no I didn't think I'd be participating) and he was a bit oh well it's your choice I guess. I think it's going to change the dynamic between us if I can keep it up but so be it. In a way it's kind of good to keep having to say no to him because if it was just me asking myself I might not be able to be my own policeman IYSWIM?

Yes matron, get on your bike! It's a lovely day here, I might even save up for one myself!