DRY 11

[TeapotDictator]

Time for a shiny new thread.

Old thread here

Hi notgrumpy how are you feeling today? I am surrounded by drinkers. I have used every and all excuses so far except for saying I am stopping forever (because that is too much for me to take).

I've had to drive, had antibiotics, doing dry March, early menopause and alcohol aggravates symptoms, busy at work got to be on top of my game, alcohol has started to give me a rash.

I have used so many excuses to so many different people at some point they will collide!

earlier in this thread it was suggested that a blanket excuse without being too specific was a good idea.

Good luck today take care of yourself x

Sadly my pink cloud floated after an argument with DH. He really annoys me sober. I can't decide if being dry is making me tetchy or if our differences were always there but just masked in a fog of alcohol.

Some great ideas above! I think I started with 'dry May' - more for my parents' benefit then DPs, as he had benefitted from witnessing the full horrors of the state I could end up in, while they (apparently!) hadn't, and really struggled to believe I of all people had quit! They are fine with it now - although it is not discussed much!

Matron your last sentence sums up my situation perfectly right now. For what it is worth it was/is a bit of both for me (was perhaps a bit tetchy early on; now clear alcohol was a big blanket over our problems)

soberistas.com/page/micromanaging-your-sobriety-by-lucy-rocca?xg_source=msg_mes_network

This is quite a nice post for early-days peeps.

On a semi-related note, what is this?! new?? Or am I just increadbly unobservant

Fuzzy it's a worry isn't it and such a threat to sobriety. Everything is so sharp without a drink.

I am going to start handing this new things out.

Good post on micromanaging. Thanks

i'm starting gain. Today is day 3.

In 2013/14 I was dry for just over 8 months. I was on the first of these threads. Then I decided to have a drink on holiday and 18 months later have a few more bruises and blackouts and embarrassing memories to my name.

I'm flat, deflated and afraid. But I know it can be done, and the urge to drink passes. I have been 'practicing' for the last month, by drinking on only Friday night ... then its just Saturday I write off.

Its time. And I will do it each day as it comes. Today I will not have a drink

Hi lily I'm new and in a phase of constant posting knowing that I will get a supportive response to get me through the early days.

The first days are so horrendous no wonder you feel flat. I am already inspired by your strength to pick at the scab of moderation but yet return to give sobriety another shot. That takes guts.

Hi Matron - is this the first time you have been sober for any length of time ? what was your trigger to stop? do others in the house drink ?

I'm 51 now, and I cant take it any more. I have been a heavy drinker for 30 years really - and heavier in the last 10 when not pregnant / breast feeding and comparitively more wealthy ...

When I stopped in Oct 2013 the first two weeks were awful in terms of managing the triggering points. I really put my NEED not to drink above everything else and looked after myself ++

Then it got easier.

I have no idea what possessed me to think I should start drinking again again ... Of course at first it was occasionally - but before long it was back to a bottle of wine a day - every day ...

Hi all, I've tried to keep myself busy today but still feeling pretty morose. I was really anxious this morning about all the upcoming engagements I've got which will involve being in the pub (Gold Cup day on Friday, rugby on Saturday, a christening and someone's birthday next week) but I've told myself over and over that I can park that for now because it's not today. I'll work out some way of talking myself into sticking to soft drinks nearer the time. The thought of never waking up with a massive hangover ever again is a powerful motivator! I've been to buy plants and compost today for my pots so I've got a bit of something to do tomorrow. Being off work this week is a double edged thing, on the one hand work isn't stressing me out and OH isn't offering to meet me off the bus (at the pub) but on the other, previous me would have used not having to get up as an excuse. I'm just waiting for OH to start wondering if I fancy a pint because previous me found that irresistible after a couple of hours in the garden. But I'm not going to do it. I'm still bloody furious with myself and I'm furious with him for not agreeing with me that I've hit the wall and things need to change. He's not my moral compass though is he so I'm just going to have to do this by myself.

I'm going to have a look at that micro managing thing too, thanks for the link fuzzy

Hi teapot yes that was the kind of thing I had in mind, just to tell people I was knocking it on the head 'for a bit' to take the pressure off myself in all the situations when I will be expected to sit there chugging pints. I hope that every time I say 'no thank you I'd prefer a soft drink' I can channel a slight smugness about sticking to the plan! I certainly don't want to have to go into any detail with friends about what prompted the decision because I am already well known for a certain (erm) behaviour which they all seem to think is hilarious. (Special thanks to OH for telling them about it )

Notgrumpy I would swerve anything that isn't compulsory entirely because to go sit in a pub and watch others drink when you are still in the early days I would have found torturous and made me very grumpy! This isn't an endurance test it's about making things easier for yourself in the beginning. I use the acronym ACE it - avoid, control, escape and pretty much hibernated for the first 6 weeks until I had a good sober stretch under my belt :)

lily I have long spells where I can take it or leave it then spells of absence of a month or 6 weeks but all routes eventually lead to a binge and regret.

My DH drinks but not as much as me or my family and friends. NONE of my people think I should be abstaining and find it incomprehensible that I am. They are all waiting patiently for me to start again.

I had a scuffle in a bar and it just all became too much. So I am giving sobriety a go. I expect not to succeed on first try but try I will.

Hope you are feeling better today.

notgrumpy pick the engagements off one by one. The not having to get up is such a trigger isn't it! It's a big green light for me. Walk as much as you can.

How long have you been dry Matron ? Mt DP drinks, but seems to have the elusive 'off button' at least mostly that I just dont have - at least not consistantly.

He is worried about me. I fell over on Friday night when I cam home form drinking too much with a friend and narrowly avoided cracking my head or worse - Its a rap examle to my kids and I am wrecking my health.

I was happy sober - and so loved never having a hangover, remembering EVERYTHING, never worrying what I had said / done and never having to feel that awful awful shame and self hatred...

Welcome lilybetsy from me too. Don't think I was on the thread when you were here before. 8 months is a great achievement :)

OK I wasn't expecting this. I'm just breathing through the panic right now. JESUS CHRIST I REALLY WANT A DRINK!

I hope this wears off.

notgrumpy ride the wave it will pass. Have a bath or get in bed with a book if you can.

It will pass it really will. Stay strong.

lily I am just over 2 weeks so really early days hence my vigorous engagement in this thread. You wrote that you loved being sober well guess what you are sober again! It all begins somewhere

I am a hit and miss drunk either great entertainment at my own expense or a complete nightmare. Or sometimes just delusional.

Thank goodness only your pride was hurt in that fall but sometimes that's the most painful knock to take. It's done. Forgive yourself.

Thanks matron glad someone's there. I've had so much trouble with panic attacks over the years and always drank to take the edge off. And then ended up lathered. No more drink is just terrifying! I'm not going to do it though. If this was a normal week I'd be OK because I'd have at least a bottle of wine to look forward to on Wednesday then be pissed thereafter until I crashed out on Saturday night, but no more. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to drink.

notgrumpy good for you, try just breathing and sitting for 20 minutes let the panic dissipate. I've been looking for something to get me through the bad cravings and it turns out just breathing and sitting calms me.

There is a lot to be said for breathing

Oh and Lucy is sober and writes an excellent blog. Have a look at that for more experienced advice (I am good for a hand hold but there is a mountain of support on this blog)

Thank god for that I think it's wearing off now at last. Do you find it happens a lot?

notgrumpy no pattern to my cravings. I have had one shocker that's sticks in my mind. Around 5pm at home seems to set me off. Bizarrely I have been better at parties where I have been resolute in the face of blatant temptation.

All my planned hosting is over for a couple of weeks. I'm not arranging any more for now. Time for some rest.

Link to Lucy's blog: ahangoverfreelife.com should keep you busy for a while notgrumpy

Welcome lilybetsy