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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DRY 11

999 replies

TeapotDictator · 04/03/2016 12:08

Time for a shiny new thread.

Old thread here

OP posts:
MatronLittle · 16/03/2016 15:16

notgrumpy you sound stronger Smile I can recommend a recycled bike some councils sell them on.

Matron on her retro bike! It's like something out of call the midwife. Was good to get out and move. So little time spent on caring for myself when drinking.

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 16/03/2016 16:12

Sounds great matron, I'll look into it. Even if I have to save up for a new one it won't take long now I've got nowt to spend money on. I could weep when I think how much I've spent in the pub over the years. Easily the wrong side of £300/ month. And that excludes all the wine and spirits from the supermarket which went on my card. But no more! Let the landlords weep instead!

lilybetsy · 16/03/2016 16:26

notgrumpy, I'm so impressed by your resolve ! I can't imagine how hard it is when your DP is trying to sabotage your not drinking. I'm so lucky that my DP is very supportive and , although I think he missed his drinking buddy when I was sober before , he never once tried to persuade me to drink.

Day 5 today,. I won't drink today. I'm home early from work and I won't go out again - so how ever agitated I am, I can't get alcohol....

Hello all ... What other hobbies have you taken up to distract you from drinking ? I'm wondering about some kind of sewing / patchwork / tapestry ...

MatronLittle · 16/03/2016 16:59

Fontella was the e-baying a success?

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 16/03/2016 17:42

Lily I'm sure some of the more strident feminists on here might be tempted to try to convince me that I was being manipulated but I honesty think it's more like willful ignorance on his part: because he drinks like a fish but feels like he gets away with it he doesn't realise that I am in a different place. Yes I was proper pissed off with him for a while yesterday for trying to get me to carry on as usual but it's what I've always done because it's what we've always done and I've never followed up when I've said never again. He's not my keeper but I did think yesterday if I do drink and get ridiculous I could well end up taking it out on him for not stopping me but I knew he could just throw that back at me and say well just drink less then. And he'd be right. But I can't. So for now, while it's still giving me the fear, I can't even contemplate having even one drink, even just before bed. I want to get it out of my system. It's not compulsory and if anything to be honest I'm quite enjoying the experiment!

SlimCheesy · 16/03/2016 17:51

dipping in and out as bath time here.... lily I taught myself to knit. :)

MatronLittle · 16/03/2016 19:29

And there it is out of nowhere cravings have hit me. Sneaky 'aren't you doing well Matron don't you deserve a glass of wine for being so good at this' type of cravings.

Cravings that are playing the long game trying to catch me with my guard down and appeal to my increased self-esteem of feeling worthy of reward.

Healthy, cycling, unstressed, calm me. The bastards.

FuzzyWhiteLegs · 16/03/2016 19:54

Hi all, hi Matron. How's the craving - passed?

Re hobbies, I was already into fitness videos at home; mainly the fabulous, lovely, varied and completely free Fitness Blender, but stepped that up when I quit drinking, and also got properly into running, having made half-hearted and hangover-thwarted efforts for several years!

This winter, being a fair-weather type, I have replaced much of the running with Yoga; and can recommend Yoga with Adrienne - also completely free and plenty of stuff suitable for beginners.

I've also just recently got into adult colouring, which is a great pastime, ideal for someone like me who's never had much artistic talent but likes making pretty things!

Daft as it sounds I have also enjoyed many series and films on netflix; obv I watched TV before, but it's so much better now I can actually pay attention for more than 5 minutes, remember what happened in the last episode, and not fall asleep and miss half of a film. Grin

FuzzyWhiteLegs · 16/03/2016 19:56

Oh yeah, and I got a dog too - that's ensured winter fresh air levels are maintained!!

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 16/03/2016 20:01

matron hope you're ok. Remember what you told me - it will pass

SlimCheesy · 16/03/2016 20:05

surf the urge. :) Do something- anything else for 10 minutes... it really works!

MatronLittle · 16/03/2016 20:12

notgrumpy I told you that when I was in the safe zone. I'm a little ball of fury right now and can't accept the truth of 'it will pass' Wahhhh! If my legs weren't aching from cycling I'd lie on the floor and drum my heals in frustration. You took the 'it will pass' on the chin and manned up. I'm like a 5 year old tonight.

Right I think I may have posted my way out of it. Thanks notgrumpy and Fuzzy xx

SlimCheesy · 16/03/2016 20:17

I think you should stamp your feet and scream!!!! I have done it myself more than once. I jump up and down stamping like Rumpelstiltskin and it eventually makes me laugh at myself and then I am over it.

Cravings suck. xx

MatronLittle · 16/03/2016 20:25

slim I've carried some coal and logs indoors that helped. Feel a bit of a prat now. But at least I'm a sober one Grin

jojomo · 16/03/2016 20:53

Well done matron , another one defeated!

Really, really enjoyed the dancing tonight, the music is hypnotic and I almost felt graceful. Had a lovely drive into the city in the late sunshine, good tunes on the radio and felt ten years younger just by doing something for myself. Was grateful not to be tired or hungover and in a good frame of mind which is all because I haven't been drinking.
Musn't get complacent though...it's the slide towards the weekend now which is when my triggers kick in.
Off for a sit down and some toast now, it's been a good but long day!

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 16/03/2016 21:41

matron phew! Excellent work. I knew you could do it. I'm gritting my teeth riding high here. DP is sloshing the red down himself while I am on Decaf with lots of milk a) because I'm a bit chilly and b) because if I drink now it'll curdle and I'll almost certainly puke. First dry Wednesday for more than 5 years. Fist pump!

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 16/03/2016 21:42

jojo good to hear you enjoyed yourself, I've noticed that I'm noticing enjoying things too. I must have missed out on so much before.

MatronLittle · 16/03/2016 22:26

Go notgrumpy congratulations on your sober Wednesday and battling on. I love this thread it's a huge support.

FuzzyWhiteLegs · 16/03/2016 22:33

Well done notgrumpy that is fab! Big pat on the back for you StarHalo

jojo belly dancing sounds ace!

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 16/03/2016 22:52

Thanks fuzzy! Don't get me wrong, my skin is crawling but I'm loving not being hung over. I'm going to buy a ton of breakfast cereals tomorrow and push big milky bowlfuls into my face from tea time onwards to put me off if it starts again. Which I am certain that it will.

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 16/03/2016 23:01

matron are you ok now? I have been so impressed by your resolve, all those dinner parties etc, you've done really well. Flowers

FuzzyWhiteLegs · 16/03/2016 23:28

It gets easier I promise. Good idea to have snacks and nice drinks lined up - whatever makes you feel comforted Flowers

I used to love red wine, my DP still drinks it next to me a couple of times a week, and now I cannot stand the smell - sour and disgusting... amazing how things change.

HowBadIsThisPlease · 17/03/2016 07:25

Hello!

Right I'm checking in this morning looking for support... later. I'm at a work thing tonight, staying away from home. It's going to be long, and boozy.
I've done things like this before without drinking (and I've done them and got shit faced). I am really determined not to drink tonight. I want to remember everyone's name, have some interesting conversations, build relationships - not just drink and be stupid. I also want to grab some time tomorrow in the city we're staying in - we've got a couple of hours before the train and I want to get out and do something (at least see something)

I might be on my phone in the loo later on and if I post on this thread, thanks in advance for giving me somewhere to have a wobble.

DAY 11

Have a good day everyone

Tangfastics · 17/03/2016 07:50

Good luck HowBad X

I've got my DAAT appt today. I'm mainly terrified!

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 17/03/2016 09:15

How I'll be around later if you need hand holding. This will be my first dry St Pat's in donkey's years and I don't know why that's a big deal because I'm not Irish and I don't like Guinness. DP is off down the pub with his mates to watch the racing, says I'm welcome to join them but I've said no. I don't like horse racing either if I'm honest and every time one goes down on its nose and they bring the curtain round it to see it off I dislike it even more.

So I'm going shopping Instead. I've told myself I can have/ do/ buy whatever I like any time I feel like it, as long as I can afford it and it's not booze. So today, lunch and new underwear at the very least.

tang forgive me, what's daat? Why are you frightened?