DRY 11

[TeapotDictator]

Time for a shiny new thread.

Old thread here

jojo I have no idea what happened today but it was a hell of a lot easier than yesterday. At this rate I will have to throw endless parties to stay sober and avoid the cravings when alone.

The drinking commenced at 1pm today and I called last taxi at 8.30. Usually day parties finish A bit later at say 10pm (I carry on until midnight afterwards - the host deserves it blah blah blah)

The signs are good for hosting the boozy lunch tomorrow. But no room for being complacent.

Well good on you matron an absolute triumph!! We are doing well this weekend so far! But yes...no complacency...

Am due for more painkillers and bed now I think. Back into the fray tomorrow, armed and ready!

Beautiful day here sun is shining and I feel more than ok dare I say it but I feel a lightness today like something has lifted. Let's hope this phase is a long one as it would be nice to switch off the mental struggle for a while (forever is the goal but I know it's too soon for me and there is more work to be done)

The support from this thread is so valuable to me because it takes one to know one and I know you lot know me

Matron welcome to pink clouds. Enjoy your day and well done for yesterday! :)

Lucy never have I felt so happy to be predictable. Pink clouds

That kid is not coming today and I feel disappointed he brings as many laughs as he does mischief. ( that's the pink cloud talking).

Enjoy! And ride it for as long as it lasts

Great to hear you so positive Matron

Beautiful day here, Spring springing all over, and the sun feeling warm on my back when I walked the dog earlier. Fab.

Is there room for another one in here? I feel absolutely wretched after what happened last night and I really need to stop but I'm so frightened of the thought of no more booze.

Hi notgrumpy lots of room in here! Not sure where everyone is today (probably out enjoying the sunshine), but I'm sure folks will be along soon to welcome you to the thread. I'm guessing from what you say that you don't feel much like enjoying the sunshine today! Want to tell us a bit about yourself?

Welcome not grumpy. Don't feel wretched, we've all been there . Try not to be frightened about the no booze forever angle. Abstract thoughts like that are a bit unhelpful. Think a lot more short term about how to look after yourself today and tomorrow. I found once you had built up some alcohol free days and weeks then the 'forever' thing stops looking so bad although I won't pretend it's not still daunting / depressing at times. One step at a time though... That's what I'm doing ( day 75)

Thanks fuzzy no I haven't enjoyed the nice weather, I haven't enjoyed today at all so far. I've just been sat here hating myself. I need to change. I'm off work next week so if the weather carries on I'm going to make a start on the garden. Maybe I should use the booze money (at least £200 a month, Jesus..!) to buy plants and stuff. And if I'm not losing entire weekends to hangovers I'll have bags of time to keep on top of it.

Thanks absolute that's really helpful advice. And well done on your 75 days!

Welcome notgrumpy :) Try to be kind to yourself as I found that that kind of thinking propelled me back to drinking to forget! Write today off, go to bed early and tomorrow is a new day I'm at 904 days and I don't say forever. Maybe when I'm 70 I'll drink again who knows what the future holds but today I'm not drinking.

Welcome notgrumpy - totally agree I don't say forever either. People love to ask whether I've stopped forever (I think they want the opportunity to infer that that means I'm an... ahem... alkie) and I just say I hope I never go back to it because I prefer life this way. Which I do...

Hello notgrumpy I agree with the others, forgive yourself, don't say forever and make some plans for the next few days to keep busy - gardening sounds good or exercise of any sort which will lift your spirits. Also think of some sober treats to reward yourself with. I haven't been drinking for a couple for weeks now (I don't count days, it stresses me out a bit!) so it's still early days for me but it's going ok and can be done!

Thanks all, today has been a write off. I don't feel ill, surprising considering how much I put away last night. And the night before that. And Thursday. I just feel really low. I'm going to make a to do list for tomorrow. It's great to see that so many of you are doing so well, gives me some hope. I don't know how I'll get on but I'm going to try as hard as I can. A big part of the problem is that I live with a bloke who can drink like a fish and not get hangovers. And I've had a hard time of the last couple of years but so have plenty of other people so that's no excuse is it?

notgrumpy the next day horrors are awful aren't they. We have indeed all been there. I'm the same as jojo and a couple of weeks dry.

Chin up what's done is done. If you want to off load here go right ahead. Get some sleep, eat well tomorrow and try not to be too hard on yourself

I'm going to have a think about all the things I'll be able to afford to do with the money I would have spent on booze. Start having my nails done. Nice clothes. Stuff for the house and garden.

and holidays. :)

notgrumpy that's a good way to keep yourself occupied.

I survived another boozy social event today. But it wasn't survival at all it was enjoyable. I think it was ok because it finished just as guests were starting to become repetitive and over tactile.

Can anybody offer me any advice on how to encourage my partner to support me with this? He doesn't seem to think that the amount I drink or what I get like when I'm pissed is a problem. I've been here several times over the past couple of years and when I'm dying of shame the next day he's always laughed it off. It's all too lighthearted, it's not that bad, everybody overdoes it now and again, what are you like etc. I suspect it's at least partly because he doesn't want to challenge himself about his own relationship with alcohol but I just can't carry on like this.

Brief reply as I'm hitting the hay here, but I think your last sentence has it: anyone quitting drinking potentially presents a problem for those who were drinking partners. And he may feel your relationship is threatened in some way if you are making a major change.

All you can really do is focus on what you feel and what you need. I think that's why threads such as this, blogs, online and rl support fora are so important both in the early days, and going forward.

Sorry, my point was going to be that maybe you could explain it is important to you, and that you consider your drinking to be problematic. And that being the case, regardless of what he thinks your drinking was, you would appreciate support in what you are doing for you, now.

it's not easy I know!

What fuzzy said. It sounds like he doesn't understand that your drinking is a problem for you and you must be clear in what you tell him - that you want to stop and you'd like his support. You are also right in that it will throw a spotlight on his own drinking which he wants to avoid. But don't let that de-rail you. Hope you have a good day today and are feeling better after a good nights sleep

I think if it was me I'd be tempted to say you're giving il for 100 days first (have you heard of Belle's 100 Day Challenge? I know lots of people including Lucy started with this) and then at the end of it move seamlessly into the "I feel so much better not drinking why on earth would I want to go back?" reasoning.