When a married ex wants to meet up?

[chickentikkasarnie]

Bit of a blast from the past, not seen for many years and was never a serious relationship. Have messaged here and there over FB but just very brief hellos and we're not really friends as such.

He wanted to meet for a drink and catch up and I just wanted to check there's nothing wrong with that is there?

I do go for drinks with married men sometimes but usually I know their wives /girlfriends and they are people I am close friends or colleagues with?

Yeh, hook up with a married Ex on FB and then go for drinks.....what could possibly go wrong?

Crazy biatches say what ???????

puddock

Make sure you have all your exes over there with you and maybe you could all invite your husbands and there exes to... Make a party out of it, im sure you'll all have a blast reminiscing about what you's used to do together and shit

If your friendship as as flimsy as you say I would ask why he would even be asking to meet? I call bored married man testing the water.

If I had a spare evening, I wouldn't be too interested in spending/wasting it on some two week boyfriend I had when I was a teenager. I could think of loads more interesting things I'd rather do.

Equally, I don't do the 'ex good friends' now either. I used to have little get togethers/meals with my exp and his long term best friend and her DH and DC's. Turned out they had been sleeping together for the 14 years I had been with him.

Hello Binders. I remember your devastating story very well. I hope life is giving you some better times now.

Liara - it's very simple. If you daren't tell your partner you are meeting someone, then you don't do it. I assume your sister's ex will have probably felt guilty just because he knew he had lied to his wife. Whether it's innocent or not is totally irrelevant. The fact is his wife is more important than your sister.

MissBattleaxe - thank you for your message and I remember your kind support. I am trying, it's just going to take some time. x

Homewrecker ?

Turned out the wife did know and was fine with it, I took along another mutual friend and he brought along a collegue from work. Fun catchup, nothing untoward at all and he talked about how great his family was and how happy / lucky he is. Nothing to worry about and no vibe of anything funny!

You expect us/me to believe that ... You might as well change your user name if you don't want people to remember the fact that u were considering quiet callously to engage in something that you knew would hurt someone else ... You 've dug your whole ....now your expecting to just climb out ....there are alot of men and women on here that have had there lives turned upside now because of some silly arsed ex getting in contact .... Why don't people understand just because there having an attack of what if i .... If you can look in the mirror and like what stare's back then good for you ...

You've got some nerve really.

The extent of my crimes was being asked to meet for a drink by someone I went out with for a few weeks 15 years ago and you called me a homewrecker, among other very rude things and you're now calling me a liar too.

How actually dare you?

I expect you to believe whatever you like, but I find it odd that you actually believe a person would make up lies to make sure strangers on the internet liked them??? Had I gone out and shagged him, I think probably I would have just not posted on the thread again. It's not like the Mumsnet CIA were going to track me down and brand my face with the world "adulterer".

Can you step back and think how ridiculous the accusation you just made was? Not to mention highly offensive.

I frankly don't care what you think - you've come across as clearly bitter, paranoid and as having a devious mind that presumes the worst of others and happily accuse me of sharing those traits with you - which I don't.

I was a tiny bit "hmmmm" at the invitation, so I took someone along and turned out I had nothing to worry about. End of story. And yes, I would have felt guilty if there was something in it, hence I was questioning it a little but I'd also feel pretty sad and deprived if I couldn't have a catch up with someone from the past for reasons that might be silly.

I remember you too Binders, hope like is treating you well, say hi to your sister (the Rottweiler) for us.

I dare because i care about the fact that so many marriage's get destroyed but silly people like you

All you've done from minute one on this thread is make unfounded accusations and insubstatiated assumptions.

It's not helpful to anyone to behave like that.

If you're going to direct your homewrecker comments towards someone I'd suggest you at first establish their level at guilt beyond being asked to meet for a drink.

I will . Thank you Badgers

You wanted someone to say yer go for ... You wanted to make yourself feel better obviously if you asked you new there wasn't something right about the situation in the firsst place ...

Again, bull shit.

I wanted to know if I was paranoid for feeling a bit uneasy about the invitation for the very reason that I am a thoughtful and caring person.

People thought it might be dodgy, so I came up with a compromise solution and took someone along.

Simples.

Everything else is purely in your mind.

A lot of assumptions on this thread, and I will go and sit in the corner with the crazy bitches.

1. I said I dated him for a few weeks, I never said I only knew him when I was dating him. I knew him for the whole time I was in senior school so yes, having a catch up with him (or any other school mate) is a lovely way for me to spend an evening.

2 I am friends with all my exes. Very good friends with some of them, so I don't live by the rule that they are an ex for a reason.

3 I have never cheated on anyone or fucked anyone's husband in my life. Not going to start now either. I have standards, thank you.

The pure basis of this question was whether or nt anyone thought he might have intentions. Not whteher or not I did - as I new perfectly well I didnt

How do you know his wife knew, did you speak to her? Did you ask her if she was happy with it? or is that what he told you?.

I really should never have asked this question on Mumsnet should I?

He just said that he'd told her he was meeting me, then I asked him if i could have her phone nuber to verify that and then hooked him up to a polygraph.

For crying out loud.

1. He tagged us on facebook

2 He sent the majority of the time banging on about how fab she was and telling me the story of how they'd met and about his children

Enough?

No, you probably shouldnt have if you just wanted everyone to agree with you, people have different opinions and people have different experiences, so what works for you isnt gonna work for everyone else, if your gonna right a post like this you have to exspect a debate!.

Is his wife on fb? Would she have seen the post? Why didnt he bring her along?

Just because he sat and talked about wife and kids dosent mean they're living a fairy tale and their home life is perfect, so that statement means FA.

will you being seeing him again?

So he's a virtual stranger and you say above not really friends so no I'd not waste an evening drinking with a semi stranger, I'd also feel awkward.

Why not a coffee?

I did expect a debate or varying opinions. Didn't expect to be called a homerecker and liar. Nor should I have been.

He's not a virtual stranger, he's someone I've not seen for years but I would have met up with anyone from school who'd asked me. As I said, I have been away for years and catching up with people is great.

We met for a drink after work. Why would his wife be with him? do you go with your partners for after work drinks? I don't know her, I know him. I can't think of any reason on earth why she would organise a babysitter and commute into town to go for drink with a stranger her DH used to know.

I agree his life might not be perfect but the point is he wasn't hiding where he was and he did not do anything at all to indicate he had interest beyond seeing an old friend.

I agree sometimes bored husbands do this sort of thing to test the waters, but it would be a grave shame if the bad pennies had to stop the good pennies from simple seeing old friends.

Anyway, can't see there is anything that would convince those on here who believe there is absolutely no possibility of a man wanting to meet a woman to see her just to catch up, so best leave it and you can believe he wants sex off me and that we are going to start a torrid affair if you want to. Makes no diferrence really. I only updated as I feel it's polite to do so when people help answer your question for you.

Not all people are bad, not all people cheat.

Find it a bit sad to those who don't know that and have so little trust in their partner or their marriage.

Jesus OP your insistence is just making it look worse.

Don't come on a public forum if you don't like the replies!

I agree some posters have been harsh esp the home wrecking bit!

But, sorry he is a virtual stranger, you haven't seen him in years - again, why a drink, why not a coffee - meeting up with a guy to drink booze just wouldn't sit well with me.

Did you know he was taking a colleague along OP?