Mums: how to 'enjoy' a family holiday more?

[oooshlapoosh]

My post appears very cynical so I apologise for this, but I genuinely have trouble enjoying many aspects of a family holiday (on the whole). Of course, there are many elements I do enjoy, but if I'm honest, in some ways, I find them a chore.

I'm a mother of two young DCs, quite introvert and enjoy time to myself, which is difficult to achieve at the best of times, so how do I achieve this on a family holiday when you're all together constantly?

Also, by the time I've made a list, washed dryed clothes, packed the cases- I'm feeling worn out before the holiday has even begun.

Then there's the journey, the extra planned in stops, the masses of unpacking when you arrive, the lack of sleep because DCs wake several times during the night when in unfamiliar surroundings. Then the last day is spent repacking it all, trying to locate everything etc etc.

DH tries to help but we had a huge argument during our last holiday when he started loading the cases into the car before I'd had chance to finish packing them! We're always snappy by the end of the holiday because we've spent too much time around each other.

I'm relatively new to holidaying with children and really want some tips on how to cope, how to lighten the load, perhaps how to organise myself and DH better too!

Before I had DCS, I'd pack the night before and all would be fine! Now I find myself making lists a week in advance and packing for 2-3 days well into the evenings! I'm sure we're all in the same boat here, but are there ways to make it easier? Where's the fun for me?

During our last family holiday, I overheard an argument between a family and the mother walked off in a huff- she was trying to explain why the family needed to return to the accommodation earlier as there were things to do. The teenage daughter then asked her father "why does mum have to cast a shadow over our fun every time we go on holiday" the father looked to the floor and sighed, giving the impression he was thinking the same. I remember thinking: I don't want to be the one throwing shadows over family holidays, but I can see this bring the case.

Any tips to make them easier, more organised and me, less of a stressed out nag?

I quite like cooking in an outdoor kitchen, drinking wine/sherry/gin while the children run amok.

This is the reason it was a piece of piss for me when we moved abroad. There was precisely nothing to miss, as life looking after small children is exactly the same wherever you live knackering.

I am all shocked when I read about the spice packs and scones on the packing lists too. The last thing I want to do is cook on holidays. And I'm actually a very keen cook. I love cooking new things from recipe books, reading them as bed time books. I cook every day from scratch. However I only want to do it in my well stocked and well equipped kitchen! I remember seeing some threads here about self catering holidays and packing knives too. It's crazy really.

"DH tries to help but we had a huge argument during our last holiday when he started loading the cases into the car before I'd had chance to finish packing them! "
we have this every single time we go away ANYWHERE even weekends to visit family.

Maryz- I once went on holiday with friends who wouldn't let their children watch TV before breakfast. That was a never to be repeated experience!

Whathaveilost you are a woman after my own heart. I love hearing about how people have managed adventurous/exploratory holidays with small children and would like more tips. Worth starting a separate thread maybe?

We had an ace holiday to med coast Turkey last year with 20mo DD. Easyjet flights, car hire £13/day and we stayed in three different small and quirky independent hotels over 2 weeks. We took two backpacks for the three of us and had a lovely time in very unspoilt areas - snorkelling with sea turtles etc. I'm always keen to hear of other places people have discovered and how they got there.

There's sone hefty wifework on this thread!

I think it's really that what some mums consider a 'holiday' is what I take for granted in everyday life.

Life's short and there are no prizes for martyrdom.

We caravan last year the couple next door in a tent tried to get their toddler to sleep at 7 it was still sunny out and the kid was screaming the parents were fractious imo you let toddlers go till they drop

We had a good cheap holiday in Crete where we slept in little bungalows containing only beds, basin and loo. There was a cafe for meals. Next to the beach. Amazing moussaka - never forgotten it. No cooking required.

I love family holidays. However, both me and DH love camping and used to take the proverbial kitchen sink before we had kids, so we have actually cut down on the clutter. Here are my tips:

Self - cater or go for all - inclusive.
My idea of hell is stuck in a hotel bathroom because if you put a light on in the room, the DCs wake up. All inclusive means no washing up, self catering (tent, caravan, chalet etc.) means you get somewhere to chill in the evenings. Either way, I go for quick 20 minute meals and keep the toddler rigidly in routine for food and naps.

Accept that family holidays means some work. I split packing with DH, so I will do clothes, he does camping stuff (or similar). Supermarket click and collect (or campsite delivery) is your friend. We usually shop two nights before, pack one day before and DH checks we gave everything before we leave.

Make a list of activities you each want to do and arrange for one to happen every day, tag teaming the kids if you need to. DH likes surfing, DS loves mud pies, I like swimming (for example). In the UK we also tend to go to the big, naff holiday parks as it's easy entertainment that you can walk to in the rain.

If you really want a good holiday, arrange the family time with the kids, then (if you can) beg a weekend from grandparents to go away and just 'be adults'. You can still have the holiday of your dreams and a family...just not at the same time.

When the kids are non swimmers I do find the beach a lot more relaxing than the pool! The beach is basically a massive sand pit where you can be having lots of fun, the pool is boring :-)

Mine can't swim yet (and I hate being in the water now that I am an adult!) so that is the part I really detest about holidays. Just have to grit my teeth though as they love the water. And count down the minutes hours til I can get out!

We've been camping and also 'gites'. Have always paid more for the 'gites' so that all the baby/toddler/child paraphernalia was already there. Also many offer a meal service. Most definitely a great idea! They will even organise a meal for your arrival. (Am thinking of these companies: baby friendly bolt holes /toddler holidays).

We eat out a lot on holiday and do simple stuff like buy a roasted chicken from the supermarket and have it with salad.

Lightbulb some mums don't have a choice. If I don't do it no one will. Though the DC do have age appropriate responsibilities.

Can I just say how marvellous it is now DS is 9 ( nearly 10). Although I sometimes still have to get in the pool as he wants me to, he's now old enough to go in by himself.

Last week at Centre parks I got to sit in a plastic deck chair with my phone and Wifi, for at least an hour whilst he and his pal explored the rapids and the flumes.

Fantastic.

Oh my top tip is only go somewhere if it has a warm enough pool. TripAdvisor reviews will generally let you know if it's too cold. Our favourite aparthotel in Tenerife has a swim up pool so you can enjoy a Pina Colada whilst admiring the 980th underwater head over heels of the day ( probably not recommended if you still have to carry out more active child minding pool responsibilities).

Life's short and there are no prizes for martyrdom.

Yes. And for some families, there's no holiday unless mum busts her hole to make them

I have tried. Am trying. Will try to drag OH into the 20th century [sic], but until then if i want a holiday (and I do, I do!) I have to put in the wifework to make the fucker happen

It's depressing how many mums are taking on the brunt of the holiday work. No wonder you hate holidays if they are spent doing chores while your dh occasionally 'helps'. For me holidays are much easier than everyday life because there are two parents around 24/7 so the childcare/organisational workload is massively reduced. It makes me angry that so many women seem to still have to put up with doing all the shit work!

I have to agree Terrified, it's horrifying.

I think Wifework needs a Holiday Issue.

For me holidays are much easier than everyday life because there are two parents around 24/7 so the childcare/organisational workload is massively reduced.

YY, me too! I get lie ins. Someone else cooks sometimes (or we go out). I get to choose to do stuff I actively like to do like lie about doing nothing all day.

OK, I do some of DD's packing in that I tell her what to pack (5 T shirts, three skirts/trousers/leggings, five pairs of pants etc) but DH does his own and I do mine and all I do for DD's is check that the requisite numbers of underwear items are there (if she has to wear grubby leggings or something I really cannot be arsed to care). It's been like that since she was about four or five. I appreciate it's easier with one child than with two or more, but if we had more children then DH would just have to do more. The holiday belongs to all of us so all of us contribute to the planning/execution.

I do think it's harder with toddlers/babies, esp if one parent is much more clued up on what is needed than the other maybe because one does more of the day to day childcare. But even so, when DD was tiny, I used to give DH a list or get him to assemble what he thought might be needed and then add stuff if necessary.

Ziplock freezer bags. I get remorselessly mocked for this, but I pack complete outfits, including underwear and accessories, in freezer bags. One per day and a couple spare. I do this for me and both DC. It makes packing easier for me as I can see that I have enough clothes ready to go in the suitcase, and they are all nicely compressed so don't take up too much room.
I did get weird looks from airport security during a bag search though.

DH sorts himself out. I'm not his mother or his maid.

I know holidays with young kids can be difficult but imo holidays are not meant to be the same as being at home you need to unclench

Ah! The joy of ziplock/push to seal bags! I like the IKEA ones in different sizes or recycle dishwasher pod pouches.

I take a handful from home for sandwich/fruit/food rubbish bags, separating wet costumes, keeping suncream free of sand and for liquids going through security. Not as nice as matchymatchy toiletries case or picnic baskets but hey, we're on holiday!

Some friends have a blended family. It was costing £10k+ a trip to take everyone away during school holidays. So they bought a holiday home on an interest only mortgage and now that's the only place they go to. Lots to do, they can leave clothing and other stuff there [like oils and spices] and go on multiple holidays a year with carry on luggage only for the price of the easyjet flights. Depending on your typical outlay/budget for a family holiday Twinkestein has a point.

We had a dreadful holiday in SC once with tons of rain and freezing cold weather, sick kids etc in what should have been a sunny location. Had a lovely staycation the year after. I wouldn't do it every year but certainly the kids didn't mind.

To me though ownership of a second property just means double duty cleaning and maintaining two properties. Same thing owning a caravan.