Mums: how to 'enjoy' a family holiday more?

[oooshlapoosh]

My post appears very cynical so I apologise for this, but I genuinely have trouble enjoying many aspects of a family holiday (on the whole). Of course, there are many elements I do enjoy, but if I'm honest, in some ways, I find them a chore.

I'm a mother of two young DCs, quite introvert and enjoy time to myself, which is difficult to achieve at the best of times, so how do I achieve this on a family holiday when you're all together constantly?

Also, by the time I've made a list, washed dryed clothes, packed the cases- I'm feeling worn out before the holiday has even begun.

Then there's the journey, the extra planned in stops, the masses of unpacking when you arrive, the lack of sleep because DCs wake several times during the night when in unfamiliar surroundings. Then the last day is spent repacking it all, trying to locate everything etc etc.

DH tries to help but we had a huge argument during our last holiday when he started loading the cases into the car before I'd had chance to finish packing them! We're always snappy by the end of the holiday because we've spent too much time around each other.

I'm relatively new to holidaying with children and really want some tips on how to cope, how to lighten the load, perhaps how to organise myself and DH better too!

Before I had DCS, I'd pack the night before and all would be fine! Now I find myself making lists a week in advance and packing for 2-3 days well into the evenings! I'm sure we're all in the same boat here, but are there ways to make it easier? Where's the fun for me?

During our last family holiday, I overheard an argument between a family and the mother walked off in a huff- she was trying to explain why the family needed to return to the accommodation earlier as there were things to do. The teenage daughter then asked her father "why does mum have to cast a shadow over our fun every time we go on holiday" the father looked to the floor and sighed, giving the impression he was thinking the same. I remember thinking: I don't want to be the one throwing shadows over family holidays, but I can see this bring the case.

Any tips to make them easier, more organised and me, less of a stressed out nag?

This thread just shows how different we all are!
Some of your tips leave me wanting to run in horror and no doubt my ways will be alien to some people as well!

I hate all inclusive, I would never dream of going to the same place consecutively or take Relatives

In hated the comment ' young children wrecks holidays. Fact'. Utter bollocks! It changes the holidays you have but to me holidays with or without children are fabulous! I loved all the back packing we did when they were little. I loved getting on a train in Europe and ending up in a different country later on that day and exploring. We've had so many adventures so when I hear all the angst about cooking and packing it just seems odd! The best holidays are usually in the mountains either here or abroad. So much to do,really exciting and the young kids get tired and sleep well at night while you or you and DP/DH can just relax.
Holidays are meant to be fun not stress central!

thulow doesn't it make it a bit predictable and nothing new though? Especially when there is a whole world to explore and discover.

Going to the same place would not be a good tiip for me with young children or not. It would bore my brains out. I'm not against going to the same place, indeed I go to the Cairngorms and French Alps regularly but it seems a bit too much of any easy option to go to the same place over and over.

Each to their own though.

I get stressed before we go anywhere, as I am 100 % responsible for everything, and I know I am really forgetful!
We only ever really go to a caravan on the coast or camping locally, but once away I love it, and it's usually just me and dc. I think the thing for us is that we have been poor for ever, so even a week at the seaside is exciting.
We went to Devon once, and fell in love with the ice cream, so it became a thing to try a different flavour every day.
We eat a lot of chips!
I can't afford childcare or all inclusive, but we fossil hunt, paddle, play beach cricket, do sand sculptures, and ds always manages to find pals for a bit of football.
I would love to try glamping lovely friend . Do you stay in a yurt ?

Not for us, Whathave, but obviously it would for other people. We go on holiday to get away and get a break, rather than to see somewhere new. But then I've never been a big traveller, so as long as we have some country walks, a nice beach and the odd entertainment park-type thing for DC it's a good break for us.

We stay in the same town but there are plenty of new places to go in the wider area.

I wasn't knocking it Thutlow
Your go-to place sounds nice.

The important thing is for people to find out what works for them. Holidays are precious to most people and perhaps should be part of the happy memories bank.

One persons hell is another's Heaven!

As an introvert mum as well, I don't go with the childcare option, but with leaving them with their dad option while I go for a walk on my own.

Definitely go self catering. We tried all inclusive last year & we found it very stressful: no lie ins, because we had to rush our kids to get to breakfast for 9.30 (getting 6, including a teen who likes his long lie-ins) dressed & ready to go was hard going. Same with dinner. We hated the crowded hotel restaurant.

Our favourite holidays are actually caravaning holidays. Yes, there's some housework, but being a tiny caravan, it's not all that much. We do some cooking, but keep it simple & also do meals out. We can have the slowest most chilled breakfast ever. The dcs always seem to find friends in a way they don't in hotels & therefore entertain themselves while we just watch from a distance while reading a book. Far more relaxing than a hotel imo.

Same for us! We do explore new nearby places and do new excursions every year but I also want to have down time and just laze around and relax!

This is why we bought our own holiday home, it's saves so much hassle.

And nope, never got bored, after 10 years we've only seen a fraction of what there is to see in Tuscany, we're near the sea, near mountains as well.

We don't only go there though. One great thing about holiday homes is you can swap them with other holiday homes all over the world.

Cook and babysitting service are essential.

I have always been the sort of person who makes a packing list a month in advance, and google street-views holiday locations, so I know what way to turn when I step off the bus.... so DC just give me a legitimate reason to be uptight really.

The best things we did on our last holiday to make it fun were:

• taking turns at doing bedtime, while the other person went and sat in the nearest cocktail bar with their kindle for an hour (total bliss).
• we found an activity (waterpark) that we all really genuinely enjoyed, and could do together, and we did that a lot.
• paid extra for more space, so that DC could nap/sleep in the bedroom while we relaxed in the living area/balcony.

OP - I appreciate that packing small pots of herbs/seasoning/washing up liquid etc all saves money but going on holiday I tend to say "fuck it" unless its for a weekend or camping. I'm not going to spend hours packing cling film and condiments. If we won't use the majority of it over the holiday then we do without. If we have to leave some for the next guest or throw a little out, then so be it. I'm certainly not spending hours wrapping it up to take home.

Review your clothes selection especially if you are going somewhere hot. Often I'll pack stuff both for me and for the kids and then it won't get used as I know it will be ruined and stained from suntan lotion so in practice I'll choose something more relaxed in style or possibly worn already in preference to a "naice" sundress.

DH does his own packing. I am NOT going to go there. He's already learned the hard way to pack properly before we even got together

*The best things we did on our last holiday to make it fun were:

• taking turns at doing bedtime, while the other person went and sat in the nearest cocktail bar with their kindle for an hour (total bliss).*

We sort of did this - one person had to go and get glorious take away pizzas from a local restaurant about twice a week. Lovely 30 mins in a bar with a glass of wine. They kept apologising for the delay and I was sitting there thinking if only I could stay for another glass!

Most helpful post of the thread goes to Twinkelstein

Find it hard going on holiday with young children?

Then do the sensible thing and buy your own place in Tuscany!

Make sure you have a cook and babysitter!

Easy peasy

I will make up spice blends etc before I go - so if I know I will be making a curry I mix the spices in a tiny bag, and tape it to the tin of coconut milk.

I've taken pre measured/mixed scone ingredients (just need to add the butter and milk), flapjack dry ingredients etc. I write on the outside of the plastic bag how much milk/whatever to add.

This is great if camping or staying in YHA places for example (if my DC had a choice they would want to stay at YHA - they have a bizarre overfondness for them).

But yeah, what am I thinking? I will just buy an house in Tuscany & hire a cook :)

Most helpful post of the thread goes to Twinkelstein. Find it hard going on holiday with young children? Then do the sensible thing and buy your own place in Tuscany!

bibbitybobbityyhat I'll add having a butler to maintain your holiday home, and taking your nannies with you while on holiday helps too. And maybe hiring a local chef.

Making curry and scones when on holiday!!!

Blimey!

Is there a lotto tonight just gonna chance my arm for my tuscan holiday home

Do ypu really make scones on holiday bugger that

Any recs for resorts/companies with great childcare/kids club stuff suitable for a 4 yr old and maybe some sports/culture stuff for the adults?

We've yet to go abroad with dd (been going to Cornwall for family reasons). Don't want anywhere too hot (I have sun allergies) so not sure where is best (Spain probably isn't I'm guessing).

I think someone mentioned Brittany?

bibbity lucky for me then that DH and I get on with our parents!

Brittany is lovely although the beaches can be nippy a bit like here i guess

bibbitybobbity

Property in Tuscany starts at €20,000.

If you rent it out it pays for itself, and can provide an income on top.

I'm astounded at the amount of money people spend on holidays.

My children have only ever been on holiday in UK and Europe because I consider flights further afield too expensive. They've never been to the US. They have never and will never go to Disneyland - with me at least.

When mine were young we had several trips to all-singing all-dancing family friendly Thomson places in the med i.e package deals. I thought I would hate them and lots of our friends/family were snobbily sniffy about them, but honestly they are fantastic, if noisy. There are kids' clubs and activities, massive buffets catering to every conceivable whim and fad, lovely clean rooms (interconnecting are great) balconies overlooking the sea, guaranteed good weather, wonderful pools, nearby buses and train lines. Easy flights and short coach transfers. Oh and launderettes. Very good value especially if you are not restricted to school holidays, but even in school holidays still reasonably priced.

Overall, a wonderful break from bloody well organising everything!

To my mind, self-catering is no holiday for most mothers and the extra cost of all-inclusive or at least half board is well worth it.

Packibg spices and baking ingredients then Making curries and scones on holiday sounds even more stressful! I want to cut down on the organisation not make it worse!
Love the idea of leaving the accommodation whilst one of us puts DCS to bed. Often, I can hear one DC screaming for mummy from the lounge so it's no 'break' from bedtime. Cocktails in a nearby bar sounds wonderful!! :)

Either all inclusive or self-cater in the UK and get a delivery on arrival. Eat out a lot.

Buy variety packs of cereal.

If I were in a relationship, I'd take turns supervising the children in the pool - one of you 'on' in the morning; one of you in the afternoon (and swap round each day so each adult gets a lie in).

Basically, it will only be a holiday for you if you and your DH enforce a rigid shift system during the day. You have the evenings to have time together.

I have several different lists - one for camping, one for summer holidays and short breaks (with the season and number of days in the title), all stored in Word docs on my laptop.

I update year on year and I also update when I get back. The list comes on holiday too (it's in a table so one cell for my clothes, one for DS's, one for food, one for entertainment etc etc) so that you can use it to check off things as you pack on the way there and on the way back.

I know it's really pedantic but I have to be scrupulously organised or it's grim. And it gets better. DS is now nearly 9 and I no longer have to watch him in the pool :)

I'm astounded at the amount of money people spend on holidays
I hear this so often but holidays aboard don't have to be expensive. You just have to be a bit creative about where you go. I love Eastern Europe for reasonable weather, good beaches/ cities /mountains. Your money goes a lot lot further than many other places and depending on the days you fly out you can get some really cheap flights.

We have stayed in a lovely hostel in Slovakia in two bedrooms between the 4 of us,which had a honesty fridge so you just kept a tally on what you had for 7 days and it came to £187. The flights were less than £48 return each and we hired a car for £125 for the week. One of our best holidays ever.

Even places like Denmark and Sweden aren't that expensive if you are savvy and there are loads of things for the kids to do ( and amazing cakes and pastries as well!)

My love of travelling has rubbed of on the kids. My 19 year old is on hoiday in Norway at the moment and the youngest (16) is off to Scotland with his mates mountain biking at Easter!