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Original poster

Contacted by someone claiming to be DH OW

424 replies

Glitterunicorn · 21/02/2016 09:50

A woman has been contacting me over the last month on Facebook messenger telling me how my husband has been cheating me.

Everytime I have received the messages I seem to get immediately blocked or the profile gets deleted so I can't message back. I thought it was just someone messing about.

She has been really quite vague but I have managed to message this person this morning and get a response. She has sent a copied and pasted version of Facebook messages from my husband to her. It seems that he has been chasing her to meet up.

My husband is at work until this afternoon so I will speak to him when he comes back.
I wanted screen shots but she won't send them to me. Should I confront my husband without proper proof?

My husband does work away and the messages do correspond with when he was away last before Xmas.

OP posts:
ghostoftheMNchicken · 21/02/2016 15:02

Even the third degree is a response. The OP asking questions is a sign that they've hit a nerve. I think if this was real they would be less likely to persist, at least without finding some evidence to show for themselves.

Original poster
Glitterunicorn · 21/02/2016 15:06

Husband came back a while a go. I showed him her original messages and the conversations between each other. He looked genuinely puzzled and said he vaguely remembered her friend requesting him and he didn't know her she was insisting they met at a pub he had been too but he did not know so he had blocked her.

He said the conversations shown had not taken place.

He opened up his Facebook account and said he was sure he had blocked her and she was on his block list.

Luckily he still had the messages in his archive and he had messages her and asked who she was. She said we met at X pub don't you remember me, and he said no sorry. And that was the end of the messages.

He said he found it strange at the time as he was were she said he was and was with a few people from work after work. But he didn't know her and hadn't met her before. And how would some random woman from the pub know his first and surname.

This pub is a old mans pub and he said if there was a woman in there you would know as its very small and no women really go there.

He was fuming that someone could do this so he unblocked her and looked at her profile.
He has a mutual friend with her. His friend from work so he gave him a call to find out who she is and he said he didn't know her but same story about her contacting him after the pub insisting she knew him. And she has contacted his girlfriend and was causing problems between them and basically the same story as mine.

After he ended the call his friend sent him a message asking how my husband knew to contact him about her.

A confusion over what the friend meant took place before my husband said well he is mutual friends with her.

So there we have it, a troll by the looks of it. Although we can't work out who. I said it's got to be someone they work with but husband says he can't see it as the company they work for is pretty small and apart from Husband and his friend there all older people.

And it can't be his friend as the messages have been coming in today and they have been working together and his friend was driving with husband.

I'm totally confused by all this now, it's got to be someone we know and it's really creepy.

OP posts:
iwuddarryl · 21/02/2016 15:12

Sounds like a big story and a lot of information.

Do you believe him?

WorraLiberty · 21/02/2016 15:13

Blimey that is strange.

Could have been nipped in the bud a month ago, but I'm glad you've got this far to the bottom of it Thanks

Fugghetaboutit · 21/02/2016 15:14

It's probably some bloke in his mothers basement somewhere being a dick

iwuddarryl · 21/02/2016 15:14

Why go the trouble of putting someone on your block list if you don't know them?
If I get a friend request from someone I don't know, I just ignore the request.

I only go to the bother of putting people on my block list that I know fairly well.

''I don't know her'' to ''adding her to my block list'' doesn't add up to me for some reason. They seem to contradict eachother.

SoThatHappened · 21/02/2016 15:14

He vaguely remembered but then came out with a bomb proof story that a friend can verify too all discovered very quickly.

Shortest mystery ever.

WorraLiberty · 21/02/2016 15:16

Wait, what messages have been coming in today?

Katenka · 21/02/2016 15:17

They seem to contradict eachother.

I have blocked people who have requested me. Especially when they have sent weird messages

WickedWax · 21/02/2016 15:18

The troll messaged the OP this morning, it's there in her opening post.

SoThatHappened · 21/02/2016 15:18

Yeah the block list thing is weird.

I have a name that on a global scale, there must be tens of thousands of us.

My facebook picture, you cant see my face straight on, I am looking to the side and my hair is tied back which is not how I normally wear it. I am not bothered with facebook, I dont use it much, rarely post anything and just use it as i have lots of friends and relatives abroad.

I have had a couple of requests in my time where people have added me and they got the wrong person with the same name as you cant see my face well and as i said, my name is common.

I just said, do I know you and they said no sorry and i left the request and that was that.

To block someone for a mistaken identity is a bit strong.

iwuddarryl · 21/02/2016 15:19

The fact he was able to solve it so easily and had a friend on hand, conveniently waiting in the back ground to back his story up? Hmm
Makes me wonder if he got wind that she was going to contact you, so had lots of time to get his story straight in his head.
That could be why he didn't look shocked. He was anticipating your questions

My spidey senses would still be tingling.

He may be telling the truth, but I would still be on quiet alert for the foreseeable future.

WorraLiberty · 21/02/2016 15:21

Oh yes of course Wicked I got confused.

I don't think the blocking thing is weird, unless I'm confused again?

Surely the archived messages show why he blocked her? She had somehow gone to the trouble of finding out his name and tracking him on FB, when she didn't even speak to him in the pub.

That'd be enough for me to block someone.

WickedWax · 21/02/2016 15:25

I genuinely think your DH response and story, along with the archived messages, says that he's telling the truth.

Obviously you saw his response face to face and know if blocking her would be something he'd be likely to do.

Fwiw I have lots of people on my blocked list, including random men who have friend requested and messaged me, claiming to know me.

DinoSnores · 21/02/2016 15:25

"To block someone for a mistaken identity is a bit strong."

I've had a flurry of apparently American soldiers wanting to be my friend. They all get blocked, so I don't find it that weird!

iwuddarryl · 21/02/2016 15:28

Get the name of the pub off him, the one where according to him ''only old men go in there''
I've heard that line before.
I bet if you were to go there, there would be women in there. Customers and behind the counter.

He's good.

GruntledOne · 21/02/2016 15:31

I can't see anything in the least odd about blocking someone who contacts you out of the blue and insists that she spoke to you on a specific occasions when you know she didn't.

As for contacting the friend - the man is damned whatever he does with some people, isn't he? If there was no-one to back him up, or if the friend hadn't known anything about the woman, people on here would be saying that that was highly suspicious.

Buzzardbird · 21/02/2016 15:31

I block people that contact me without any connection or clear reason to. I have learned what happens if I don't.

I think he did the same as I would.

I believe that it isn't a woman but a work colleague who was there at that pub and genuinely wants to make trouble for some of his colleagues that he is jealous of...much like the friend of Worra's. I would be amazed if it isn't a work colleague with a grudge who knows exactly when he is away on business and where he has been.

paxillin · 21/02/2016 15:31

I would make clear at work that one of the colleagues is most likely a FB troll who already tried to destroy two marriages. Might stop them trying it again, they might succeed at some point otherwise.

DownstairsMixUp · 21/02/2016 15:33

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

GruntledOne · 21/02/2016 15:34

iwud, he didn't say that no women ever go to the pub, simply that it's unusual enough for him to have noticed on the day in question. I've certainly been in pubs which are not female friendly, and I tend not to stay for long and I don't go back.

slicedfinger · 21/02/2016 15:35

There is nothing weird about blocking some random who contacts you that you don't know. It's not like asking for a restraining order is it.

MrsDeVere · 21/02/2016 15:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PandoNoPants · 21/02/2016 15:38

I block randoms. Sometimes I wonder if it's my ex trying to snoop.

If I have no mutual friends with the person I assume fake profile etc. Block!

SuperFlyHigh · 21/02/2016 15:40

I'd say to this it all sounds a bit plausible, not 100% but a bit, enough so it'll keep you quiet. Also I know of some people (not all) who do a damned good acting performance of it not being them.

I'd fish more re the pub and keep your spidey senses alert.

The blocking almost immediately sort of suggests maybe he knows her and the deliberately vague well of course he would be.

Sorry I believe iwuddarryl too much of people on hand to back him up etc.

I've read quite a few stories including one woman (hobbits bar?) who wasn't sure but then dug and dug and ta da eventually unravelled an affair, something she was sure he would not do and again more denial from him til cows came home to her!