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Original poster

Contacted by someone claiming to be DH OW

424 replies

Glitterunicorn · 21/02/2016 09:50

A woman has been contacting me over the last month on Facebook messenger telling me how my husband has been cheating me.

Everytime I have received the messages I seem to get immediately blocked or the profile gets deleted so I can't message back. I thought it was just someone messing about.

She has been really quite vague but I have managed to message this person this morning and get a response. She has sent a copied and pasted version of Facebook messages from my husband to her. It seems that he has been chasing her to meet up.

My husband is at work until this afternoon so I will speak to him when he comes back.
I wanted screen shots but she won't send them to me. Should I confront my husband without proper proof?

My husband does work away and the messages do correspond with when he was away last before Xmas.

OP posts:
RaspberryOverload · 21/02/2016 19:43

Wasn't it Sherlock Holmes who said words to the effect that the simplest solution is usually the answer?

I reckon the DH is telling the truth here; the story is too weird to be cooked up as it won't take long to unravel.

And the info that the profile may be deactivated suggests to me that the DH and OP are being trolled.

The question to me is who and why?

The DH's friend might be in on it for some reason, and/or the girlfriend, who may be trolling both her bf and OP's DH.

But as the DH was open enough to show OP the messages on his FB, I feel the DH, at least, is telling the truth as I agree with sykadelic's red flags on this.

ImperialBlether · 21/02/2016 19:45

I think Sherlock Holmes would have said the simplest solution was that the woman was telling the truth!

RaspberryOverload · 21/02/2016 19:49

But for the various reasons given, I don't think the woman was telling the truth.

SoThatHappened · 21/02/2016 19:51

Wasn't it Sherlock Holmes who said words to the effect that the simplest solution is usually the answer?

And the simplest solution is some random woman who has been to a mens only pub, tried to friend both the DH and his friend and tried to meddle in their relationships. Both of them dont know who she is, but she must know them as there is a mutual friend.

Or is the simplest solution that she is telling the truth and the friend is helping with a convoluted explanation.

TheFridgePickersKnickers · 21/02/2016 19:52

I think your dh response is plausible and I would be inclined to believe him.

I would want to follow it up with the friends girlfriend though.

Something a bit weird about this though. There are some right oddballs out there Confused

lighteningirl · 21/02/2016 19:55

He's telling the truth this troll started with the other guy and got your dh profile from his friends list or from the suggestions FB gives because she was th friends with the friend. Do not give this troll another moment of your time.

SoThatHappened · 21/02/2016 20:01

Both seem a bit weird.

silverfoxofwarwick1952 · 21/02/2016 20:05

What Conan Doyle wrote was;

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth

Neither is impossible, what is probable?

silverfoxofwarwick1952 · 21/02/2016 20:06

Is it impossible that the person contacting the DH is a man?

AyeAmarok · 21/02/2016 20:09

I do think it sounds plausible.

Some people find the strangest things fun.

Buzzardbird · 21/02/2016 20:16

To be fair, Sherlock didn't have the internet.

iwuddarryl · 21/02/2016 20:22

A woman has been contacting me over the last month on Facebook messenger telling me how my husband has been cheating me.

You've never said how she worded it.

Was she vague, or did she use exact words and phrases, ie the word 'cheat' or 'slept with'? What were the exact words?

iwuddarryl · 21/02/2016 20:22

Trying to think how Sherlock would think. Hmm

silverfoxofwarwick1952 · 21/02/2016 20:28

Perhaps with an open mind? And still, at this stage.

Original poster
Glitterunicorn · 21/02/2016 20:34

He is very private but then again if we were innocent and being accused of something wouldn't we prove it one way or another even if it was contacting a friend? I've never been in that situation but I suppose I would.

It's a heavy lifting job, this guy does exsist. I've seen photos of him with DH alongside the equipment they set up.
And as the sport is quite frequently on tv sometimes Inbetween matches I see my DH and his friend preparing the equipment for the next round.

I am 100% certain he is a he not a she. And if he was a she could she message me whilst driving and then changed her voice to a mans and then do a elaborate cover up?

It's not him, I thought that immediately as he's the youngster on the team but DH said its just not possible.

OP posts:
Original poster
Glitterunicorn · 21/02/2016 20:39

The words used were cheating on you. Didn't say how slept with kissed ect. Was just he has been cheating on you sorry blah blah blah.

It very well could be a man. I think the profile is fake as most of the pictures are from photo shoots. It's hard to explain but there all posed too. No natural shots.

OP posts:
SoThatHappened · 21/02/2016 20:39

Well as long as you're happy with the explanation that is all that matters.

Yes the innocent accused of something they didnt do can often be very indignant an defensive. Losing your cool or explaining yourself does not always indicate guilt.

FlatOnTheHill · 21/02/2016 21:19

The more info you are telling us the more I think this is fake.
OP speak to DH about this.
If I thought he was having an affair I would say keep quiet and start looking for,evidence. All odd

lazybones77 · 21/02/2016 21:50

The thing that rang the bell for me was the phonecall to the friend. I remember asking DP years ago how these men get away with things and it was mentioned that he could phone certain friends and they would go along with whatever he said to protect him even if they didn't know exactly what was going on. Now, that was years ago and I'm pretty sure his friends wouldn't 'protect' him now that he has a family and they are all grown up but some men never grow up. I'm the type of person who would dig until I got definite answers though. Then again, I've never been in this situation myself. I still think I'd want to know exactly what was going on, trust or not.

SuperFlyHigh · 21/02/2016 22:44

lazy exactly same for me. About 14 years ago when I was with a boyfriend he cheated and his friend covered. Would never have told me anything either of them they were as thick as thieves. I only found out after we'd broken up and suddenly the safe lads trip clubbing to Liverpool from down south was a coverup for god knows what I found out about the one one night stand but I'm sure there were others I just never found out about!

Indeed, I sadly know of a few men not mates who will cover too, who have wives and kids and the DH shags around, disgusting and I don't have anything to do with them.

lifesalongsong · 21/02/2016 23:00

I can't remember exactly, sorry, but didn't the OP say that the facebook profile had been set up some time ago imo it's very unlikely that a workmate would be playing such a long con - it doesn't make sense.

Didn't the previous similar thread turn out to be some kind of spammy account with stock photos. OP - would you be prepared to post the name of the person so we could have a look and see if it looks like a genuine account, we did that on the last thread and most posters agreed it didn't have the look and feel of a genuine person.

Gobbolino6 · 21/02/2016 23:00

The two things that slightly concern me here are these:

  1. The dates on which he actually was away. Yet he's adamant no one from work can be involved, and he doesn't work away that much.
  1. The fact he went from saying he vaguely remembered the woman to knowing in depth the issues his mate had with her.

It could be something or nothing. I'd be silently watchful.

RaspberryOverload · 21/02/2016 23:06

2. The fact he went from saying he vaguely remembered the woman to knowing in depth the issues his mate had with her.

But he didn't. OP says he phoned the friend and the friend told him then.

lazybones77 · 21/02/2016 23:23

Yes. They only realised that the friend was involved after seeing him as a mutual friend. This still bothers me. He might well know her and is covering up. I honestly believed the OP's DH story until that little detail. Yes, people add people they don't know but doesn't this only happen with young people who care about how many friends they have on FB? Is DH young OP? Or the friend? That might explain it.

Gobbolino6 · 21/02/2016 23:28

Oh, apologies, I misunderstood.

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