Do you know if you're having bad sex?

[FLAMEinEckItsYuleAgain]

Odd conversation with someone the other day... if all you've ever had is bad sex or sex with one person - do you know its bad? Or do you only realise when you get the good stuff?

i can and do drink, but little; dont agree on total abstinence, on anything

does any one now want to talk about good sex or do i have to work out how to start another thread thing..

Well..I've posted before about an old friend of mine who was very highly sexed - talked endlessly about her and her DP doing it all the time, being v adventurous etc, having anal sex, buying the most ENORMOUS dildos and when they split up and she had sex with someone else realised she had actually confused orgasm with acute pain and had actually never had one in the five years they had been together.

Maybe she was a masochist, maybe just very susceptible...

[For all the other geeks out there (MB are you listening??;) There is a hypotesis within evolutionary theory that female orgasm is an expression of female choice]

Happydaddy - is this a good thread it time to reiterate the alternative meanings of the emoticons? What could this one be??

thats not good sex; what do you mean, should not talk about it? am just interested in a would like to know way as its the other thing that people have in common i suppose..

also, must confess slightly intriqued to ask as on the first night i posted here kelseybaby1 (i think) posted a sex thread and was told it was NOT the done thing round here..

Here's a loaded question -

Does good sex always end with orgasm??

Yes, it can involve deliberate orgasm denial. Depends what you're into.

I think its probably more difficult to tell the difference between mediocre sex and bad sex. i think that point was made early on, but think it is so true.
good sex is unmistakable, not just in terms of an Orgasm, which if not essential is pretty damn important in the scheme of things.
It must be easier to tell if you have some experience of being with different lovers. A good reason for pre marital sex, as it would be pretty depressing to find out on honeymoon that you have committed yourself to indifferent sex for the rest of your life.

not what i meant to speak about but depends who has had what ifywim..if me wouldn't want to end it there
i meant more something else i guess sorry..

has anyone read (i think its called this) diary of catherine m? i picked it up at the library and really fascinating i thought anyway!

I dunno..

Some orgasm's are fab - others mediocre.

DP has at times made me feel like a Goddess but these were long drawn out afternoons and an orgasm was always a possibility but definitely not the primary goal; more the icing on the cake - but not essential either in the wider scheme of things.

I really don't think orgasm is the be all and end all of good sex, though it does seem to be of bad sex.

Where does the preoccupation with chasing orgasm come from? Porn maybe? Some of the worst sex I?ve had has been spent chasing an orgasm, then it just becomes desperate hard work. I?d much rather just stop when the going was good and fun was still being had.

well said monkeytrousers..its about pleasure imo mine and his

and bad sex is if you fake too (which I would never ever do)

MT - I have found that you can have amazing sex with no orgasm... I could be odd though (and I guess back to my OP - I could just be having bad sex anyway and not know )

Yes, I've read that book, it's called The Sexual Life of Catherine M. Very, ahem , interesting reading .

Is no sex worse than bad sex?

Probably not - bad sex is uncomfortable and argh (thinking of tired sex etc), better no sex than that!

Oh good

Tell me MT, orgasm an expression of female choice? Choice in male, the mind or how other? I don't know what you mean.

deckthehalls..i was quite fascinated by it though too..outdoor locations always appeal but it was quite a read & eye opener in some ways to my tame life!

I can recommend Submission by Marthe Blau as another interesting read. I'm not into that sort of stuff in rl but reading about it is certainly mind-expanding!

Definitely need to have had very good sex to know if you are definitely having bad/mediochre sex.

I think lots of people think everyone else is having "better" sex than them.

I think that those having fantastic sex dont necessarily have to shout from the hill tops about it.

I think I think too much sometimes

Happy New Year

Hi Pap, this is a hypothesis which comes from studies of rape; the question why women are rarely, if ever, aroused or reach orgasm during rape - in contrast to the male.

This question might seem tasteless, and the answer obvious in a moral sense, but there are are biological processes behind everything that warrant scientific scrutiny in order to better understand our human nature.

There is some evidence that more sperm is held in the vagina after orgasm, thus aiding fertilisation. Obviously after rape a woman will not want this and it has been postulated that some aspects of woman?s capacity for orgasm evolved in the context of reducing the likelihood of fertilization. Therefore, when a woman has consensual sex with a man she trusts, and chooses as a possible father for her offspring, she is open to experiencing orgasm.

Women have other biological 'anti-rape adaptations too.

That seems a perfectly reasonable hypothesis, MT.

deckthehalls..will keep my eyes peeled, thanks for the tip; i renewed the catherine m one at thelibrary two or three times and kept getting the raised eyebrow lol water off a ducks back to me..i used to always love to read germaine greer and things like hite report and things before
MT interesting post