Step right up, it's dating thread 97

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

We don't half get through these at speed!

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now)

Thanks Waving that's exactly how it feels, like I'm on the back foot. I've been reading what others have said about the perceived challenge, I think this is an area I need to look at closely and also my standards/ values.

I'm enjoying tinder too but I live on the coast so my potential range is automatically halved

Fsssssakes. Promising Tinder match and I had great chat this morning. Ended up talking about some mutual horse riding friends. Well, of course I used that info for FB research. In a relationship!

So sick of these fakes and weirdos.

omg 'Horse' is in a relationship??

Morning all. Took 2 night nurse and zonked out for 10 hours.

Dropped off DS this morning and Ex was fine. Said thank you for giving it to him straight, that it helped him understand how hard it had all been on me and to have fun tonight.

I'm feeling much better and know I did the right thing.

Tinder is fun at first but I too ran out of swipes quickly. I'd add no one giving the V's/finger to the camera to Wavings list.

Do you all live close to each other that you're getting the same matches? Detective and I know each other in RL and live about 5 mins walk away from each other. We could defo compare notes

Happy Sunday everyone!

Omg Tanya .. Do you think you will call him on it?

Definitely compare matches Fandango and Detective - might save you some time in the long run!

Waving stay strong, you are doing great!

Ocelot I have pretty much the same criteria for my ideal match and that is why I got hung up on some otherwise unsuitable guys before. Hence why I am trying to prioritize "being a decent human being" and being available over those common interests.

Good luck Handy!!

Folk hope your event is going well. Yes you can run out of likes, I have twice. So many people to go through in the beginning.

314 yep, the "perceived challenge" component seems to be the hardest for me too. Not that I am that desperate (really, even if I do sound like I am) but because once the guy checks the "connection box" well I tend to move straight to wanting to explore the possibility of a relationship, hence delivering the moose burger on a silver platter, instead of letting him go on his hunting trip. I need to dissociate the spark from the rest! How on earth do you do that?? Any tips?

Right, I am off to watch MH!

DrFoxTrot that is one of the reasons why now I try not (no matter that it's 21st century we women can do what we want) to sext too much nor sleep on 1st etc date.

Not sure I 100% agree with MH rules or ways as I know 2 women who attended his workshop and as far as I know both still single though one did try serious flirting with a cute waiter when we were in holiday in gran canaria last autumn.

tanyadm are you sure it's correct FB relationship info because I know some people don't change or forget to change it?

It is all a total minefield dating. Hi wavingnotdrowning thanks re site info.

Just for information 2 single parents I know are both together after internet dating so it can work.

I think you do need rules and I now follow them. No idiots who sext etc, want to meet within a month at very least of messaging. Any time wasters try to weed out. My personal preferences are also not attracted to certain ethnicities (looks reasons) also prefer hair (don't mind grey).

Some of my internet dating boyfriends I know one now who's shacked up with someone abroad but really I think All the experiences are there for a reason.

JollyXmas re connection and afterwards I try to keep it as in... Nonchalant not keen etc... (Even though I'm mad keen inside) this has worked with men I'm so so about and men I'm keen on.

If you don't FFW he won't sense it and do a runner. Also think if boot were on other shoe eg you'd met a man but he was keen to move in ASAP etc (even if he didn't say it) you may sense that and you'd be hopefully naturally wary.

Get very good at acting in other words. No harm saying you may have another date or someone else is keen too... Men love sometimes I think to feel they have a bit (not too much) competition. Even if it is some guy you go to lunch with at work and flirt a tiny bit.

Thanks SuperFlyHigh I've only just realised what moose burgers are!! What is FFW?

I don't think it will do me any harm to use a few MH techniques. Reading this thread has really given me a boost.

Jolly Do you mean run out of likes, or run out of people? Cos I have definitely run out of people but never out of likes!

Anyway I am back from the event. Mr2015 was indeed there and there was no chance of avoiding him as he bought me a cake and came and sat next to me. Bloody man! So, we chatted, it was fine. Really, honestly fine. We didn't talk about relationships at all, so I don't know if he knows that I know he's seeing someone. But it was just...nice to see him and weird that I am fine with it considering how messed up I was last week. Maybe I am finally getting over him?

In continuing weirdness, I think MrEloquent has blocked me on WhatsApp. His profile pic and status have vanished and there's no last seen. I've just sent him a message saying "have you blocked me?" and it got two grey ticks. Does that mean I am blocked?! I will send another message later I think, just saying I hope he's OK and wishing him all the best. Which I do actually mean and I am weirdly OK with that situation too. He's a bit troubled and needs space and I am not taking that personally.

The guy from Bristlr asked for a some more photos, so I wound him up by sending him random pics from my phone and then eventually sent him a nice one of me and dropped into conversation that I have a child...and tumbleweed. But again, fine with that as I was a bit peeved that he was asking for more pics rather than trying to find out what I am like, IYKWIM?

So yeah, I'm ironless and being rejected on all sides and I actually feel fine. Or maybe it just hasn't hit me yet? I think I am getting close to "well, just fuck the lot of you then!"

I cross-posted with Tanya. I get so pissed off with that shit. I clicked on a tinder match's FB the other day (we had a mutual friend) to find his profile picture is him and his wife and 2 kids on their wedding day. In October! Twats!

Jolly you are right - I put being kind top but then we need to have important stuff in common especially a broadly similar world view... Hope you are not in Yorkshire cos they are thin enough on the ground as it with must me looking!

MrMusic probably is a decent human who must couldn't handle his emotions (so he said) or a relationship (with me? :( ) when it came to it...though he had said that was what he was looking for... He was also the first to express his feelings... But when I responded it spooked him - I will !earn from this to be more cool...

Folk it does sound like you have been blocked on whatsapp. I'm finding whatsapp a nightmare, knowing he's been online and not read or responded to my message. I'm trying not to look.

I've just remembered something else my tinder match did - he sent a photo of his parents land and said he hoped he could take me there one day. Why do they do this then run a mile?! I should've seen it coming, I always get swept away, I'm really cross with myself and him!

Born well done! Glad to hear seeing Mr2015 went okay... I half hope I'd feel that way if I did run into MrMusic..ha e spe t ages organising my music this morning (instead of more important urgent boring house stuff!) I can finally listen to stuff he likes & play some of the mix CDs he made me - a bit of progress..

But there are the two grey ticks which means the message has been delivered? I thought if you were blocked, you only ever get the 1 grey tick? Bloody WhatsApp! Bane of my life!

Thank ocelot! I am getting the odd little pang (he's so sweet, he bought me a cake!) but in general, it was OK. Actually, better than OK, I kind of feel like we might be able to be friends and I always feel better when I can think of him like that.

Born- You haven't been deleted on what's app. He has deleted you from his contacts most likely (in his phone)

A lot of people me included have their settings on what's app to only show their last seen/profile picture to their phone contacts. This is most likely what's happened.

If he had blocked you it would only show as one grey tick. Two never appear.

Sorry meant to say you've not been blocked on what's app but deleted from his phone contacts

Oooh, bugger! Now MrEloquent has replied and said no, he hasn't blocked me and why was I asking?! hahah! Motherf*cking WhatsApp...

Glad he hasn't though.

Horse is most definitely in an active relationship. Their FB profiles are linked and there is a photo of them gazing at each other on 15 Feb! I didn't call him on it, immediately unmatched.

re-name him, from horse to ass

What a cock Tanya! What's with the men who are in relationships and go OLD I just don't get it?! Is it for an ego massage, wanting a bit/shag on the side or they have emotionally checked out of their relationship but haven't got the balls to end it yet!

It's so awful.

Indeed. Why can people not just be honest. He referred to his "ex", who is obviously not even an ex. Poor woman.

We were talking about his various pets, and he said "you'll like cat no.2", not naming for obvious reasons. What, a cat that lives in the house he probably shares with his girlfriend?!! And he encouraged me to enter a riding event that takes place in his town. What is wrong with these people.

Luckily just after I found out that info, I went on a hack on my favourite horse in the glorious sunshine, so am feeling pretty zen. But still, cockwomble!