Step right up, it's dating thread 97

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

We don't half get through these at speed!

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now)

Place marking! Now off to finish reading other thread

Of course ok not to respond! You could be doing all kinds of exciting things! None of his business...
I am now chatting to old fashioned on Tinder. He has defined his terms and seems ok...

Back from my date... He was a nice guy, and intelligent, but very chatty (too chatty for me ... he talked far more than I did and I felt I spent most of the evening listening) and sadly no chemistry.

Oh bummer, Goldfish it's really disappointing when you feel like they don't want to make room for what you may have to say - do you think he was nervous? Moot point obvs....

Can I join in?

15 months out of a horrendous marriage that was over on the actual wedding day. Had no choice but to wait it out. I was pregnant.

Now have a 13 and 3 year old, and an 8 month old baby.

I'm really scared about doing this. I don't even have anything to talk about as I'm on mat leave and it's all baby and toddler stuff 24/7. Ex doesn't see his kids so it really is 24/7 for me.

Not sure dating is a great idea, but I would like to give it a try.

On match and POF for the last month. All the men who messaged me bar 2 have been nothing like what I'm looking for. A man with a job and the ability to write isn't too much to ask for is it? One guy I spoke to got sleazy before we met, so I scrapped him.

The other guy seemed like a fabulous match, to the point where our spiel on the site almost matched word for word. Then he stopped messaging. Few days later I get a message about an old flame messaging him and he didn't think it was fair to speak to 2 women at once. I laughed, and tossed that number right out of my phone.

Update on tradesman! He did respond to my latest message and I just wrote something back. We're still talking about vehichles but it just got very entertaining (I made a crack about the car I sent to the junkyard). Annnyyywaay, I imagine we'll move off of that now as he wished me a happy Friday...and I asked him if he has any plans for the weekend.

Good luck to those who were/are out on dates tonight!

Yay Gast- great update!

Goldfish yes that is too bad. Next!

Squirrel (moose is not exactly a positive term on the thread ) ideally yes, you should put aside your expectations and just see how it goes. But then we are only humans so it is usually kind of getting in the way of the rules. Keep telling yourself you do not know him at all and he could be a weirdo or maybe slow down on the messaging if it helps? If anyone has a magic recipe for chilling out I am all ears!

Hello everyone else!

Not much to report on my side. I have been chatting with Theatre and TinyGrey for almost three weeks now. Both first dates are scheduled for next week. Yay! Also, I have decided to bin Popcorn forever. He is just not the guy I want. And I am not changing him or settling so he is out. Yay!! That means I also have room for one or two more irons so I just joined Bristlr aka the realm of artsy tattooed bearded hipsters (winks to Tanya) and will update if anything comes of it.

Waving not sure it was you talking about the other thread on lessons learned from dating, but if you have not checked it out, I would recommend reading it - pretty sound advice and very interesting points about consistency and mixed messages I think. In the meantime your guru sounds absolutely right about giving Soho the bitch treatment.

wow sassy, I love that turning your phone to airplane mode to read a whatsapp message tip.

Morning ladies , long time lurker enjoying your dating tales . the rules are really helpful in this mad mad world of old ,as I am a terrible over thinker , just wanted to share something that happened to me yest and get some opinions really .
I decided I'd done with dating for a while as sick of picking the wrong guys , decided as others have said to concentrate on me as the saying goes if you can't love yourself blah blah blah , so been going to the gym seeing my friend for nights out , all good stuff , Well yest I was in my gym gear and bobble hat as it was freezing walking around Aldi of all places when I hunk of a guy tried to catch my eye and smiles , he to is in gym gear and very pleasant on the eye , I get all shy head of to the till away from where he is , he finished paying and went to his car , I could see out of the window he was hanging around , as I left he purposely walked along side me as he was going to another shop and started talking to me , said I noticed you and liked your hat 😂 were both in gym gear so we have something in common , which gym do you go and we chatted for 5 mins , he told me his name , no gf or wife , bit of back ground as in job and said we should go out , and gave over his number now I was so nervous I couldn't figure if I was entering it in right as it was the most surreal experience I've had , good looking buff guy approaching me , doesn't happen ever , so we left it there and he said txt me , So here's the thing , I left it till that night about 8 ish and just said hey it's me from earlier thanks for the number , and guess what I never heard a thing back , So why oh why go to all that effort to talk to me if he them wasn't interested , I just don't understand it , I keep thing I might of took the number down wrong , now don't get me wrong I'm not really up for a relationship with anyone after a bad relationship last year EA which I'm still getting over , but it just baffled me and kinda makes me thing was it something I said , stupid I know , I won't be txting again just wanted some thoughts on it as feeling meh this morning after feeling a high and big fat low :(

You didn't say anything stupid. Maybe he was a simple soul and he was in the mood for a chat right there and then, and by 8pm he was doing something.

moonie70 what a lovely thing to happen! Just enjoy and be flattered. Who knows if you wrote the number down wrong or if he went out last night - that's a pretty rare and brilliant thing to happen - I'd be delighted!

Moonie...
Its a lovely story,as 314 said he might be busy and not got your message yet?
May I ask did he write his number down,or did you?he wouldn't of written it down wrong,but you may have done?

Hi all!

I have read the other thread too, and if I had a different personality type, then I'd find the early dating stage easier, but the same empathy that makes early dating torture for me helps with the later secure stage of a relationship I think. I listen. I care. I compromise.

I also hate uncertainty and wasting time, so I make lists, I organise, I tidy up, I clear out, I am practical and a part of that is that I need to know where things stand. I wouldn't move to a job that isn't permanent, even if it is a better job than the mediocre but secure job I do now. That's my personality type whether it's buying a house, going for a job interview.

Some of the bullet proof posters on that thread might struggle with the certainty and security stage.

waving I think you're right to pull back now. I'm sure it's really hard as he can be so lovely, but if you went back to him all breezy chat glossingl over last Tuesday night, then he would give you more of the same at some time in the future. And you do have enough in your life! If you stopped internet dating tomorrow, you might feel a bit flat for a few days but within three weeks you'd have forgotten about men and found an equilibrium again. I ought to do that occasionally! To reset, restore factory settings! Cos I'm happy on my own. I need to remember that myself.

gast this guy sounds promising!

goldfish I'm guilty of that talking too much when I'm nervous. I do ask questions though.

Moose that's a funny name, maybe I@ll call you squirrel for reasons obvious to the thread regulars! Jolly lot of new daters, could be time we got the moose analogy again! Good luck with your date tonight

moonie or he's thinking, great, her number's in my phone now the next time I feel like going out. He's not thinking ''she'll be upset I haven't replied''. He might purely be thinking of it from his POV, ie, good, I have her number now.

Thanks everyone yes I guess it was a nice thing to happen , I took his number but I was so nervous I forgot how to even input a no into my phone lol , I think in hind sight the number isn't right as I rang it and after ringing it said number wrong , oh well he could of been the one 😂 I guess I'll never know now , back to being a single Pringle and enjoying your dating tales ...

Hi everyone,
Sorry for the lack of update on Thursday... It went very well We went to a couple of different bars and he was impressed by the cocktail bar I'd booked, conversation flowed well, there was kissing and then he said he needed to go for the last train... unless he was invited back to mine. I took him back to the train station at 1pm the next day I really like him but he lives quite a way away and works shifts so we'll have to see about long-term potential, still it was an excellent date, he's been texting me since and asked before he left if I wanted to go back with him and go out for drinks with his friends the following night but I already had plans.

The flat shoes were a good call but my ankle is definitely on the mend so will be back in heels soon.

I've not read about what everyone else has been up to but hope you are all enjoying your weekend!

Moonie I think you should take it as an ego boost, a gym guy chatted you up!! Plus do any of you remember the movie "he is not that into you"? At some point someone says that a guy who says "call me" is not at all the same as the guy who takes YOUR number and says "I'll call you". I find it very true, no point in agonizing over the former, he is not likely to be dating material. He might call at some point or not, but I would not hold my breath. His problem, not yours.

314 I will work on the moose principle today as I think it is not just about the sex, more like the willingness to put a guy's needs before anything else, when he should and would like to be doing the pursuing to earn that! Will get some coffee first and then make two brain cells work on that one.

Waving I know it is not pleasant to hear especially when you do have feelings. But if Soho is not consistently making you happy, and is not committed to do it, well I think plenty of other men would happily take on the role.

Happy Saturday everyone!

Moonie if you have WhatsApp see of he's on there and check if his profile pic is him.

yes, that's another useful trick. I was about to meet somebody who said he was 51. I checked his whatsapp picture and he was clearly at least a decade older.

born I know you are shouting at us all to turn off notifications but now, thanks to sassy's tip, I feel that that is enough for me. I don't care too much at the moment anyway. Although, with the airplane mode on, I went back over Delbald's texts to me and he does seem normal, straightforward and nice, but also good humoured. So I'm looking forward to tonight. I hope I don't find his huge bald head too alien-shaped though.

Jolly I'll look forward to your definition of The Moose Principle !

waving Matthew Hussey is brilliant! Get the Guy is a great read. He also has videos on his website and on YouTube if you just search his name.

I must google that waving
Matthew Hussey. The name sounds familiar.