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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Someone called the police for DV

889 replies

DragonsCanHop · 04/02/2016 11:09

"D"H exploded last night in front of the children over something really stupid (DDs) phone going off when we were sleeping.

He slammed doors and shouted at the children making them all scream and cry, I jumped up to defend them, told him he can't slam doors and talk to them like that. I got in between him and the bedroom door frame and he pulled me out of the way.

He was up in my face sneering at me, he called me all sorts of names and threatened to push me down the stairs, he was yelling at the top of his voice and I was telling him he had to go down stairs at least so I could settle the DC.

Eventually he did but only after yet more name calling with a look of disgust on his face.

I settled the youngest easily (told her it was a bad dream) and eldest came in with me and it all calmed down.

Next thing I know there are 2 policeman at the door, someone had heard him and called 999.

They wanted to arrest him but as it's not happened before and I'm still not sure why he did it I told them he didn't hurt me and I didn't tell them about him threatening me. They said they would log it as a disturbance after completing a DV log sheet.

He messaged our daughter this morning after leaving for work and asked if she called the police. We didn't reply.

I messaged him and told him to find somewhere to stay, we need time apart he replied no and then asked if I was throwing him out over a stupid call on our DDS phone.

I haven't replied and I've left my mobile at home, he keeps calling my work phone.

Please tell me I'm not making too much of this, I feel like I can't make a choice of what to do from now but I know he can't be happy and I've not been happy for a while either but never expected anything like this, he hates me.

OP posts:
DragonsCanHop · 20/02/2016 09:43

I am in Essex. An independent was due at 9am but hasn't shown yet.

I've got my nan and grandad (only family I love and talk to) driving over today so I can tell them face to face what's happening, couldn't do it over the phone as they are in their late 80's

OP posts:
PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 20/02/2016 11:26

I'm in Essex too - Sarfeast. PM me if there's anything I can do to help. Smile

ConkersDontScareSpiders · 20/02/2016 13:51

I'll ask my friend f she knows anyone then...have you got a portable radiator?

RochelleGoyle · 20/02/2016 14:16

OP, I've read almost the entire thread this morning and what you and your girls have been through is heartbreaking. I just wanted to reinforce what others have already said: you have been incredibly strong and are handling the situation brilliantly. I know it's hard but the longer you hold out, the less power he has. Going to keep reading and I wish you lots of strength in the coming weeks and months. Cake

whatdoesittake48 · 20/02/2016 14:53

Contact your energy company as they have special schemes for people on low incomes or who are struggling right now. They are obliged by the government to provide free or low cost home improvements. You might qualify.

StringTheory · 20/02/2016 15:05

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

uglyswan · 20/02/2016 15:20

StringTheory - reported. Take your trollhunting elsewhere please.

tiredvommachine · 20/02/2016 15:24

Reported.

RochelleGoyle · 20/02/2016 15:50

I reported it too.

DragonsCanHop · 20/02/2016 16:43

What happened? I was with my nan and grandad.

Can someone PM me please.

OP posts:
DorynownotFloundering · 20/02/2016 16:43

Good back to supporting the OP Grin

Hope you are having a nice visit with your GP's even if you have difficult news to tell them, it will be nice to show them how much better you are planning your life to be and how much better it already IS without STBEx in your lives.

DorynownotFloundering · 20/02/2016 16:47

Nothing to worry about dargons just someone being an arse Grin

How were your nan & grandad?

DorynownotFloundering · 20/02/2016 16:48

Dargons???? Dragons sorry

DragonsCanHop · 20/02/2016 17:02

They have just left. I'd emailed them and they had quested something wasn't right.

I stayed very strong for them to show them I'm ok and I've promised I can now stay in touch with them more.

Bless nanny, she had a little private chat with DD1 who told her home is a nicer place now.

OP posts:
mix56 · 20/02/2016 17:08

Well done for staying strong with GPs, I bet I would have been weeping.
Glad DD1 has said that to an independent person, Its reassuring to hear it !

DragonsCanHop · 20/02/2016 21:18

I sent stringtheory a PM asking if they had any questions they wanted answering because the post was deleted before I saw it but I've have no reply.

Can someone please tell me what was posted please.

I have nothing to hide but really don't like not knowing what was said.

OP posts:
RochelleGoyle · 20/02/2016 21:33

Sorry Dragons but the post suggested you might be a troll/fabricating. Please just ignore. You don't need to justify yourself.

DragonsCanHop · 20/02/2016 22:39

Moving on then Grin

He heard about my boiler woes, text to offer money and help, no thank you.

He is seeing DD3 tomorrow, I'm dropping her outside her school and wait for him to collect etc

I'm off to bed thank you for all your help

OP posts:
Brokenbiscuit · 21/02/2016 03:10

Have just read this thread, OP. Congratulations on staying so strong and on being such a fabulous example to your lovely girls.

mix56 · 21/02/2016 08:52

Re. the money for the boiler. It is for hot water, hot food & heating for his children. You organise it, hand him the bill.

DragonsCanHop · 21/02/2016 09:23

Morning every one.

So today DD3 (7yrs) goes to see her dad. I know he is going to question her on everything he can but there is nothing I can do about that, how can you tell a little girl not to tell daddy about mummy?

He text and asked if he could call me last night but I replied back saying DD3 and I were watching googlebox so no.

He text this morning asking for some more clothes, everything is in the suitcase I mentioned ages ago up thread so I told him that again he only asked if I would go through it for him and just give him the things I think he would like to wear for the next couple of weeks Angry

So I told him I'd bring it to the meeting room, he can sort it out himself and if there is stuff he doesn't wNt that is wgT recycling bins and charities are for, not ex wifes.

Fucking Liberty taker!

I think some of you might tell me off but... Once I've dropped DD with him I'm off to our local rescue, I often went and volunteered after Roxie left. I've told them I'm off work for a while so maybe we could foster a really little, older dog just for a bit of company. DD3 would love it, the dog would get some time out from kennels and I would like the company in the evening. I know I won't be bringing anything home today but I'm very much looking forward to a few walks around the fields with the rescue dogs and maybe finding one to foster for a few weeks, just a little one.

OP posts:
sparkleface · 21/02/2016 09:33

dragons I read your whole thread from start to finish and, like everyone else, I cannot express how impressed I am by the way you have held everything together and stood up to this horrible, entitled, selfish man. You are brilliant. TOTALLY foster a dog: I think it's a fantastic idea. Hope you get a really soppy friendly one.

mix56 · 21/02/2016 09:35

He can stick his suitcase in the boot of the car, & sort through it. its got to go !!!!
YES, foster a little dog !!!!! or maybe you could be a walker ?
What happens when you are back at work ?

ConkersDontScareSpiders · 21/02/2016 10:11

Dog is a great idea. We joined that borrow my doggy thing and have started taking a dog out for a walk once or twice a week for someone who is ill and can't manage it at the minute.dd's love it!

PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 21/02/2016 11:20

Agree with PPs: fuck the suitcase. Stop doing things for him. Stop offering.

Also agree about wee doggy! Brilliant idea, well done, you. Star