Roll up, roll up, it's dating thread 96

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

We don't have get through these at speed....

The Rules

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun- stop
9. Loo update is mandatory

10. No dating the thread 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches, and take from it what you will

Ah 314 I'm sorry, that's crap. I don't think you did anything wrong, and nor did he, really...just became aware that it wasn't going to work out...although you'd think that he could have decided that before sleeping with you...

waving Sounds like things are going well with Soho.

sassy enjoy your date tonight.

Prizey I think you were right to trust your gut. In all likliehood, he just didn't think enough about how his suggestion would be perceived but that does show a worrying lack of insight...

gast Excited about London tomorrow? Did you stalk his FB?

Not much to report here. Still no news from Birdman and I am officially now counting that as "fizzled out". I keep reminding myself of how flat and meh I felt after our date on Sat. If he had immediately suggested a third date and kept up the messaging then I would have seen him again but I haven't heard from him since Monday so he's obviously feeling as meh as I am. And I had a sneaky look on PoF last night and he was online, so obviously looking around again. Which is fair enough, good luck to him. I also noticed on his profile that his previous longest relationship was "more than 2 years" which is quite short (and worrying?) for a guy in his early 40s, right?

In slightly happier news, I messaged Mears a little bit last night. He wasn't overly chatty, bit slow on the responses but pleasant enough. Things got a little bit flirty but nothing sleazy. He's just under 6' apparently... He messaged me this morning with his number "if I would like to text.." Suspect he's just after a bit of sexting which I may or may not indulge, depending on my mood. I'm out with friends tonight anyway, so he'll have to wait until tomorrow at least.

Also, this arcticle from the Guardian came up on my FB feed the other day. Thought it was interesting in light of what we were talking about re tall men!

Oh I saw that the day we were discussing height! It does narrow the field for us taller ones!

waving so glad it's all landing smoothly for you!

I am a bit ashamed of myself. My 13 yo dd asked me with tood 'woss wrong with you?" and I said "I'll tell you if you promise not to say ''i don't care''. so I told her about H saying he didn't want to go out with me any more. I was gently crying iykwim. Not sobbing, but a tear rolling down my face. I said I took on a chance on him, cos I thought he was a good guy, and he is a good guy really but ............ I explained the epiphany he'd had and told her I loved her and her brother so much. Gave her a hug. She hugged me back.

She knows I'm fine though. Not ''leaning'' on a 13 year old. It was just a moment. I want her to know it's ok to take a risk if you think it's worth it. I thought it would be worth it. Maybe it was still worth it, even though it didn't work out.

All my scheduling has gone awry, Sparks has just messaged me to postpone. In a way I'm relieved because I have loads to do for my son's party tomorrow, but I don't want to be home alone either really!

Oh Gast how annoying.

314 I'm sorry, that's shit.

Waving that all sounds really good!

Sassy I hope you're having a good time tonight.

Hope everyone else I've missed is okay.

I'm down to one iron (that makes me think of playing golf!) - spoke to him (on the phone) yesterday, and like him, so will definitely fix up a date. The nerves are going a bit - just need to pop my first OLD date cherry.

Hi everyone
314 I'm so sorry,that is shit,I know how you feel and its not easy
I got drunk on Saturday and went back on ok cupid,its been quite a week
2 irons of interest
Long distance again I'm afraid,the joys of living in the sticks
Iron 1 is Mr finance,he's 35 and is lovely,he came off cupid after 2 days and we are now emailing,wants to meet Half way soon,but no sleepovers,(think that's my mistake)
Iron 2 is also 35 we will call him Mr R&B as he is coloured,he promises sensual massages,and is very fit! Again it will be another half way no sleepovers,see how I feel
It has put a smile on my face once again after Mr builder,who is still in my head.
E harmony has been rubbish only one message,then he disappeared.
So that's my latest,hope all well here,will update when dates are set

Sorry 314, that is shitty of H. Did he not consider that beforehand? Hope you feel better about it soon.

Thanks deedee

Earlier on today I wasn't feeling angry with him. I was thinking, I#ve also been in a situation where I thought I wanted something and then when I got it, I changed my mind. But just a moment ago a flicker of anger rippled through me! I don't really want to feel angry. But seriously, 8 dates, it was the same house he was coming back to each time. He knew I had children. Had he absolutely no powers of visualisation.

Anyway, not sure what I'm doing on the thread now as I've zero irons now. I should leave you all for a while and come back in a fortnight. I'll lurk! I hope the regulars are still here. I hope REdmaple and waving will still be with their nouveaux beaus

Forgive me barging in with a direct question but I've been inspired by some of you to consider OLD. Been looking on and off on various sites for ages, I'm very guarded and wary for many reasons but have actually seen someone I'd be brave enough to message. But he's on bloody match and I don't want to pay at this stage! Does anybody know if there's anyway to message without paying? Thank you!

Nope, you can't message on Match without paying,they do run offers like three day trials other wise id save your money I don't think that particular is worth it.

Update

Saw scot uber randomly today. Was lovely to see him. Little kiss goodbye got me all tingly.

Dinner with french was great fun. Little snog. No tingles. Shame. But will give it another go. He looked uber handsome. He knows nothing is going to happen 'quickly' with me.

Messaging with 2/3 others. Dates TBC.

New for sleep. And a weekend off!

Ha Waving! I'll be out with London in Brighton-whereabouts are you going? Just spent over an hour talking with him, which is a good sign right?

Tulip try signing up for Tinder or another free site and see if he's on there. Lots of people use multiple sites, which is why I gave up on the paid ones...

I feel like crap today. Partly hungover, partly anxious and partly obsessing over old flames. And it's raining. Ugh

I've gone from no irons to 5 matches sitting in Tinder. Only one I'm actively chatting with, but still...

Full of the cold, and hurt my ankle horse-riding yesterday, so laid up on sofa and it's keeping me entertained at least.

I might have one iron again. MrCanceller. We have exchanged a few messages. I met him ages ago, last August, and we got on very well. But then he cancelled our second date. Bizarrely, out of the blue, the day before my last date with TheFutureFaker (H) he contacted me. And I waited until the next day to respond! I half knew FutureFaker was going to end it. So, MrCanceller and I caught up, he made a point of telling me that now he only has one job. We exchanged a few messages very easily but now this last one refers to his being under the covers. I will reply to him, but not immediately. I think I will reply tomorrow and change the subject completely. And sure, if I'm messaging him, maybe I can face a quick glance on POF. Just a quick glance.

Happy Saturday all!

Glad to see some more irons have popped up, some sparks have happened and dates are on the way!

Sassy I wonder how you manage to keep such a cool head, please share your secret.

Gast hope it goes well tonight, an hour long phone call does seem a good sign

314 onwards and upwards indeed, I do not believe you did anything wrong with H, he should have figured out what he wanted well beforehand.

Folk i am in the same boat as you, it looks like I am now iron less and eyeing up old irons. Popcorn has not replied to my second text which was merely chatty so I think there is nothing more to expect there. Theatre is probably pissed off that I replied to his last message a day later and has not come back to me since Wednesday. Oh well. On the plus side, MrHandcuffs with whom I have a lot in common minus the 50 shades of grey stuff has just messaged again even though I did not reply to his first two messages and I caved in. Will see where that goes.

I had a great evening yesterday with my best friend who is adamant that the only reason I am still single is because I was not ready to find someone before. Putting it in perspective with the work I have been doing on myself, I think she is right. Perhaps I need to grow some more before anything happens and meanwhile this dating thing is just for fun. Interesting stuff, will try to make this my mantra from now on.

I have a date for Thursday with Mr M.

I have so far resisted contacting any old irons (any old iron, any old iron...) The mood I am in today, any rejection would just crush me. So, best not to go picking any scabs I think.

Interestingly, I was chatting to my best friend last night who thinks the reason that I am still single is that I am destined to be with Mr2015 and the universe is leaving the way clear for us. She comes across as a hard-faced cow but she's a romantic at heart! I'm not sure if she's right. I would be with him again in a heartbeat but he doesn't want a relationship with me so it's a bit of a non-starter...

Messaged Mears a little bit earlier. Good news is that he replied straight away to my first message, bad news is that he continues to be taciturn and also that he went quiet as soon as I mentioned DS...but then he did say he was on his way somewhere so is likely busy.

Jolly MrHandcuffs sounds interesting... what's his story?

Batshit woo for your date! What's MrM like?

314 have you looked at PoF yet?

Has anyone tried Zoosk? I have a half arsed profile on there which means I get messages from people but I can't read them unless I subscribe...is it worth it? I'm off OKC and POF for now...find seeing the same people all the way so depressing.

Waving not quite sure where we're going yet I can't decide!

I'm absolutely knackered, was my son's birthday party today and 30+ 6 year olds are LOUD! Hoping a shower will pick me up! I can't decide what to wear tonight!

From me to me. Self-love. I treated myself.

I was wandering around the supermarket and I suddenly felt so sad about FuterFaker. Telling me what he'd get me for my birthday (a handbag apparently!) and telling me we'd go away to Lisbon because it was somewhere neither of us had been. He gave loads of those 'hints' that he would be around for a while.

Anyway, I didn't answer MrCanceller's message that he sent at 3am last night (not yet) I was planning to, and I see he's sent another one. Thing is, he's never at kids. At 50.

I wonder if the reason he didn't go on a second date with me was because he doesn't really want to date a woman with children.

I feel a bit spendy. I feel like buying myself something LOVELY on Monday.