Roll up, roll up, it's dating thread 96

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

We don't have get through these at speed....

The Rules

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun- stop
9. Loo update is mandatory

10. No dating the thread 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches, and take from it what you will

Xposted with Jolly and Red, thank you both too. Will cancel.
Interesting you say day dates for later Jolly. I've always thought coffee as a kind of testing the water would work.....however I've never had any success with them so you may be right!

I don't mean resigned to sleeping with him, I feel resigned to the fact that I'll probably have an amazing night but that it will be a one off.

They never worked for me either Prizey. I think it actually kills the flirting and turns the date into a job interview. Much more stressful IMO. I think it was the first date I went on ages ago that we agreed to go for coffee early afternoon. Then offered a walk. He was quite nice but no spark and I could not bring myself to run away. So I ended up trekking 8 miles around the city afterwards. In heels. Dating fail haha.

Popping in.

Prizey cancel cancel cancel. In a heartbeat

If your gut is screaming "this will be a ONS" Gast AND you are completely ok with it, I'd say go for it, have a bite of that piping hot moose burger!

So day dates in the early stages don't work?

I'm taking notes.

Well, I'm just in and my intuition was right. I got, well, dumped I guess. I was confused to begin with. He told me that he didn't want to be in a family again. I wasn't trying to argue with him, but I just pointed out that I saw a relationship as something for me and not really to do with the DC. He said that wasn't really practical. He said he was really sorry but when he woke up here on Sunday he realised that he really didn't want to be a family man and that's just not where he was in his life. He really likes me, is attracted to me blah blah blah.. He was certain. He got up and left quite quickly after he said that. We hugged, but fgs, no pride, it was me that initiated the hug. I don't feel like I've no pride. I said I was glad I'd taken the risk. He knew my 'history' and he knew that up til now, I'd only gone out with men if I held all the cards (and this is why obviously )

I feel sad and I'll miss him but I also feel ok.

RedMaple yeh, 8 dates until I slept with Galway man. Can't call him only Iron any more. And he dumps me on the 9th date. Did I deliver the moose burger too soon I don't think it was anything to do with sex though. I think it was to do with waking up in a house full of children (2)

Jolly, I know what you mean about day dates. They're not conducive to opening up.

Prizey that's weird. He's determined to go for a walk, in an unspecified location. He must see how odd that seems....

I've just hidden my POF profile. For a while.

Yay waving great update!

314 . No you didn't deliver moose burgers too soon. The absolute reality of the situation is that dating with DC's is hard. A lot of people think they're OK with it. Then the reality of being a potential dad to someone else's kids kicks in. Even men with their own children are looking for someone who doesn't have children. They don't want the responsibility.
The exceptions do exist. Many. But they need to be found. I think you have to take these risks and well done for doing so

I've done lunchtime dates. They're great. Can't go on too long and minimal investment if you don hit it off. french is two daytime dates. Dinner tonight.

scot is still in the background (I freaked myself out pre second date) but he's absolutely lovely. We message regularly.

gast if you're ok with it, go for it!

Pie, I'm sorry. Xx

Waving, enjoy your morning!

Sassy, confused, I've obviously missed too much thread. I thought Scot got binned for needy/full on/weird texting?

Thanks everyone....date cancelled!

314 so he knew you had kids from the very start but decided it wasn't for him after he'd slept with you . You did nothing wrong, at all.
waving he's back! Glad all went well. What's the story now with you and Soho?

Ah waving sounds like it's now suitably light and breezy now. Hope he's doing some wooing in between your visits , when is your next date planned for?

Oh and update on TooFar- he apologised said he totally understood what I was saying and it's just he just wasnt familiar with suitable places between us.....(strange how he can work his way around a dating site but not Google maps). Said he's happy to drive somewhere in between. Feel a bit bad, but not going to bother rearranging, it's kind of a non starter really.

Yes waving I'm glad he can change gear to 'fun'.

Off to work now.

Prizey yeh, google maps comes up with suggestions of coffee shops and restaurants doesn't it. Before I went to Oslo I could see what coffee shops were near the hotel!

Morning all

Looking forward to french. He's just being lovely. Have warned him I have had a full on week and two days of back to back customer meetings. He's said he doesn't care how tired I am. Just to arrive and he shall take care of the rest and I can relax. We are going to a lovely restaurant so am excited!

scot I totally misread his banter. He told me to chill out and not freak myself out. He read the situation uncannily well.

waving so us this a relationship now? Are you officially off the market?

How did it feel seeing him again?

Well done waving sounds as though you're getting things back on your terms.

Really sorry to hear about last night pi, I agree with you, I don't think you had sex too soon. Am I right in remembering that the kids weren't aware of his existence?

redmapleleaf yeh, one is nearly 13 and she wasn't that interested or bothered. Vaguely happy for me, but she wasn't overly invested in to my happiness with him, ykwim! The younger one is just very accepting. He was the first man I'd ever had back to the house so although I don't regret the relationship as I enjoyed the dates so much, I do regret that I used up my wild card (bringing one man home) on him given that he turned out to be so fickle.

Look what it says, about an entj

"At the same time though, ENTJ personalities keep their eyes on the long term, and if they determine that a relationship is heading towards a dead end, they will cut their losses and move on in what will seem to their partner an abrupt end to the attention they had been receiving."

"This occasional ruthlessness with personal relationships is ENTJs' primary weakness"

I love that site. People are true to their type mostly and I don't blame him. I just wasn't compatible with an entj, even though I do find entj men very charismatic.

My friend who met her husband on line thinks I should get straight back in there. I need a weekend though. Just to gather my thoughts. My thoughts are actually fine. I feel like I see things very clearly, without anger, and I know that I walked towards this situation willingly despite some clairvoyancy / awareness