Roll up, roll up, it's dating thread 96

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

We don't have get through these at speed....

The Rules

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun- stop
9. Loo update is mandatory

10. No dating the thread 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches, and take from it what you will

Hi everyone!! marking my place. Sorry I've been quiet, I'm still keeping up with you all (or at least trying to!) No irons here.
One was very promising so moved from site to WhatsApp then he ghosted....I have no idea why, we exchanged loads of funny chats, seemed to have a connection then boom....all goes dead. So weird.

I have set up a date for Saturday (daytime, country walk) which was hastily done last night, few things in common, however I know nothing about him and he has asked nothing about my lifestyle either. However just checked where he's asked to meet which is close to him but an hours drive for me, so going to bin that or ask to meet half way.
It's been 2 months now and the most promising I've found is still the one who is 17 years younger than me, who I can't meet because he is a mere baby (24)....the search continues but my energy is fading.

Prizey hello again, welcome back. I was just saying to a friend, if/when (let's be honest, when) it hits the skids with OnlyIron, I need to get a few months back just focusing on myself again. I need to get back on an even keel again. I've a single friend and I was thinking this morning how she's got that equilibrium about her that I USED to have, and although I can't wait to see OnlyIron again, I do kind of miss that steadiness. So, I won't be straight back in to the pond. I'm going to focus on car/course/job/kids/friends/exercise/marie kondoing the rest of my house. I don't think I can bring myself to finish with OnlyIron quiet yet. But it's 'out there'.

I wonder if I'll be braver in real life this summer. Often when I meet somebody in real life (which has only happened twice in the last 8 years) it's at the end of spring/beginning of summer.

ps, yes, ask to change the meeting place to just a bit nearer to you than to him! bit cheeky of him to expect you to do all the travelling. I went for a walk on a date with B but it was the third date I think so I didn't think he was going to pull me in to a ditch. I'd wonder about that for a first date tbh

ok, now this is ............ interesting. The second man I dated (from OLD) I liked him, but wasn't as attracted to him as I was to Bear or the OnlyIron.... he has just got back in touch with me via email to say ''how are you?'' so I replied. I didn't say I was seeing anybody but I didn't flirt either. Just chatty. Nothing ever happened with that guy. I liked him and I thought there'd be a second date and we arranged it but then he cancelled it because he was so busy. That was ages ago. So, what, he's exhausted the supply and he's come back to me? Kind of weird. But I did get on well with him.

I agree with meeting up sooner. Online isn't reality - and an apparent spark online can quickly disappear in person (a la my weekend date!).

Bee is pretty active on OKCupid at the mo, but I have had no contact with him for a couple of weeks (I haven't tried to instigate, pride has kicked in!), he is ignoring me even on a friend level, which makes me feel like an idiot for being taken in by him. He's obviously one of these men who plays the lovely, sensitive arty type to reel women in, and says / does whatever he thinks they want to hear. Thought my judgement was a bit better than this!

It's amazing how complete strangers can make you feel utterly hideous! I know it's not really personal, but my goodness I feel unpopular right now!

IRON KLAXON

Ooooh, ooooh, oooh! I just matched with a bearded, tattooed teacher on Bumble! Completely, utterly my "type". Sent him a message telling him so (what?!) and he's just replied. I have a suspicion he may be short though...that's going to be my next question...

Yes waving I get that so completely. The uncertainty is kind of all-encompassing at times. I hadn't realised how tired I felt until mid-Jan. In theory, a good time, when finally, just dates become ''potential''. Potential for what though? Potential to make me feel uncertain! A state of being that is so mentally exhausting. I enjoy the excitement though. I mustn't forget that.

How short is too short?

For me anything under 5'9" is too short. And all the men seem to be too short at the mo!

5'8" would be my absolute minimum. I'm just over 5'7" so they need to be taller than me. Over 6' would be ideal.
Totally shallow I know but I just don't think I could fancy a guy who was shorter than me.

I'm 5'7" as well. It does getting a bit annoying the snarky messages on profiles that say "I'm 5'9" seeing as that seems to be important". Then they go on to specify precisely what weight of woman they'd date...

Haha! It's always the short guys who do the snarky "if that matters" kind of comments. The tall ones just post a smug 6'4" and leave it at that

So true! To be fair, I'm a cow, and I always ignore the ones who put "University of life / school of hard knocks" on as well. Get some originality fellas!

Maybe I'd have some irons if I was less picky!

I'm a tall man searcher too.....I'm a believer in 'short man' syndrome and have enough evidence to back the theory up.....so no more short men for me.

Have date with MrTooFar, on Saturday he said straight away he'll think of somewhere nice halfway between us. I like that - a decision maker! My first date this time round!!!!! Eeeek!

Good luck Prizey!

Tanya, are we the same person?! I HATE the "university of life" thing....so cheesy. Also anyone that is looking for a "partner in crime" And car or bathroom selfies. Or profile pics that include kids. Or tigers. Or guns.

This is totally why I have so few irons...

ALL OF THOSE Folk! And anyone called Deano.

born all of those plus the fish ones, the bike/car ones, the extreme sports ones, the skiing ones, those that say they like to 'travel' when really they just go on holiday......I could go on and yes I'm finding it so difficult to find anyone due to my increasing pickiness.

Oh definitely yes to the car/bike ones. I couldn't give a shiny shite what kind of car they have. And I hate the skiing/cycling ones where they are wearing so much gear that you can't actually see what they look like...what's the point?

Guys, let's not forget the classic "looking for my Tinderella" and "six things I couldn't do without: you".oh and "work hard, play harder" or any variation of YOLO.
So cheesy and unoriginal haha

School of hard knocks

My children are my world........ (every other weekend)

I don't believe in short man syndrome as some of them do very well for themselves! (if they're good looking, funny, good personality etc) I had just decided that height was where I needed to compromise if I was going to have any chance of finding a decent, attractive, healthy not overweight intelligent man who was interested in me. Then OnlyIron 6'2" messaged me. I hate the clichés too. I hate it when an entire exchange is clichés.