shouldn't be mean about the 50 somethings in vests but it just pisses me off when people make no bloody effort with their profile, just take a selfie of themselves sat on the sofa and write something like "just ask if you want to know about me" and then send you some crappy "how you" message. Put some effort in!
This ^^ times a million!
Re: the getting over an abusive relationship - I'm not sure I am. My counsellor says, every time I see her, 'Bats, you deserve more than he (my STBX) gave you, you deserve to be treated better', and every bloody time it makes me cry. Making me cry now ... In my head, when I'm being rational, I know that it's true - everyone deserves to be respected and treated well. But put me in any kind of 'relationship/possible relationship' situation and all the insecurities come flooding back 
My STBX is making the divorce as drawn-out and acrimonious as possible, I think he wants to use up my 'good years', so the fuckwittery is on-going. That's not helping.
Having a FWB has helped me a lot with physical confidence - he is always very complimentary about my appearance/body. But as well as the long EA marriage, a particular set of circumstances (can't really go into them as they are identifying) mean that I feel like I'm literally starting from the bottom with socialising - I look at all the confident, shiny happy people popping into the bars in the West End, where I work, meeting friends, flirting and so on, and I know I'm not 'there'. I may never be there. My fuckwit STBX never included me in any social things, apart from his family, so despite having to be confident and social for my job, it's my 'work face', kept in a jar by the door. Dating means I can't use my 'work face', I have to be me, and I don't think 'me' is enough.
Enough of this wallowing, I'm going to carry on painting my nails and watching Vera ..