Roll up, roll up, it's dating thread 96

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

We don't have get through these at speed....

The Rules

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun- stop
9. Loo update is mandatory

10. No dating the thread 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches, and take from it what you will

I've found meditation to be really helpful with the quietening down of all the voices in my head! I use the Headspace app. It's great. You get 10 free sessions which I think is plenty to work out if it's for you or not, then you subscribe to carry on.

I am awful at letting it all go. I have to physically block certain things...like I've hidden ExP's FB feed. We're still "friends" (only in the FB sense!) but I like that I can choose to look at his feed or not. I've also recently deleted Twitter from my phone as I was getting really bad at obsessing over Mr2015's tweets and winding myself up over what he was doing/saying, so I've stepped right back and I feel much better for it!

Waving maybe he does only rarely swipe right and maybe you were one of the special ones? Hope you get a bit of banter out of it anyway.

I think we are all Queens of overthinking here...

I messaged....argh....he needs a name.... Anyway, I messaged him to explain my family situation and said I would understand if he was put off. After Northerner, I am super-conscious that children/ex-husband are especially off-putting to men around my age.

It does seem after the New Year flurry, that there is a level of thread dating...

Hope that artyiron isn't freaked out by my situation, I need an iron!

Me! I'm dating this weekend. Am out with female friends on Saturday but MrHappn has offered to come over with prosecco when I'm home.

And I'm meeting Pier on Sunday.

My kids are going to their dad's on Saturday but I'm seriously tempted to see if he'll have them tomorrow-they've been doing my head in all week & I'm tired and grumpy.
*
London* has said he wants to see me again and when I called him on not talking much this week he said he's been poorly (with a cold). I'm going to wait and see if he mentions it again.

Another overthinker here

Didn't hear from MrM, got out of work on time, so I'm on my way home. I have a feeling that he may have expected me to suggest a time/place to meet, but he asked me, I gave him a day I was free, he then reminded me on Tuesday. Yesterday, we messaged a bit in the early evening, then I woke up to a message sent around midnight, saying 'we must talk (on the phone) again soon' No mention of tonight. Heard nothing else all day - I had replied to that agreeing. Am a wrong to think he should have said what time do you want to meet or something?

see, massively overthinking it all It's really tapped into my 'I'm not good enough' fear

Waving is that in central London?
Someone told me about those events - I think they do non-Valentine's Day ones too.

It sounds completely and utterly terrifying to me, but then all my friends are smug marrieds, so I would have to do something like that on my own.

Hi everyone

I have dates this weekend.

mrfun tomorrow night
scot on Saturday afternoon
And a newbie coffee sat mid morning.

I think some of the dating apps have gone nuts in the run up to valentines. But I also think that is down to where I work....

Sunday is for me and the girls! Ain't no one getting v day!

gast there could quite seriously be a dating road trip!

born I hope tonight goes ok. What a horrid experience. I really don't know what is wrong with some people. Do report back xx

waving do not bin the singles party for soho. He is NOt worthy!

Yay gast, are these longer standing irons?

Re distraction? I think we all can ponder obsess about our dating situations. If I'm tired and down and not feeling great then it's much worse.
This week I cancelled every social event I had (and turned down some dates), haven't drank alcohol. Have got to bed at a decent hour. And made it to the gym. The difference in how I feel is quite staggering.
For me I've realised that dating that equals drinking isn't great for me. So I need a way to date that doesn't involve booze. If that makes sense.

I think we have to stop seeing each other but I still really like her :(
Neither of us like the idea of FWB, I think we want to try a relationship but her best friend is in love with her & having a hard time atm so she doesn't want to be a bad friend & start being with someone else. Which I think is lovely of her. But then I also don't think we then should hang out. Am very drawn to her tho.

Too exciting to have multiple dates planned! any favourites already?

Glad people have some dates lined up. velour she sounds like a lovely person - but I agree, don't spend lots of time with her if it's difficult for you.

I tried to arrange weekend, daytime coffee type dates - because to me, evening dates with booze feel very 'loaded' and I would prefer the first one to be in the sober cold light of day. I have to say though that this might be due to having married an emotionally abusive alcoholic - I am not anti-alcohol, and I drink myself, but any signs of not being able to hold their drink or personality changes when drinking and they would be blocked immediately. I am NEVER going there again.

Mr M messaged me - apparently, he was surprised that we hadn't fixed a time and place. I told him I thought his 'speak sometime' message was a brush off, and he apologised, said he could see why I would think that, and could we arrange another date. So that cleared that up .... :-/

Waving the ethical non-monogamist messaged me, too.

Chatting to some others now. Am wondering, thinking of the nicknames people are using on here, whether we are messaging the same people ...

It surprises me how many "ethical non-monogamists" claim to be out there.

So artyiron said that my situation wouldn't make him back off, but a few messages later he got a bit moody because he'd had a bad day. Not sure I can handle anyone else's dramas right now.

God no, tanya I bimble along just about keeping sane myself, the last thing I would want is some bloke bringing more angst ...!

My latest trend on OKC seems to be men from the States messaging me ....

I was messaged by an ethical non-monogamist too, wonder if it's the same one? I met up with him, he was lovely but a horrible kisser, put me right off.

That's such a misappropriation of the word ethical!

Well Happy finally emailed me after telling me 3 times(!) that he was going to but no rep!y to my email on Tuesday....I know I should aim to have more irons in the fire but I've wasted so much time trawling & there is just no one of interest...& happy is 45-60 minutes away so not ideal.... I'm dreading the schmalz of this w/end & have tried to organise something with friends but its fallen through so fear spending too much time thinking about lost love (

The idea of the Brighton road trip is alluring....but its very far for us northerners!

314 are you okay? Yr a bit quiet...

This ethical monogamist was in Dubai ...

She wasn't there! Not sure what's going on, I'll (gently) question DS at some point but it was just exP and me. Panic over!

I have never been contacted by an ethical non-monogamist...

tanya That's crap about artyiron Bit early on to be dealing with someone else's moods...

velour That sounds tough but some distance might be good for you, if you think you can do it?

batshit Was it just a breakdown in communication then? Sounds like he's flaky at best...will you see him?

Sassy get you with your datey weekend!