Roll up, roll up, it's dating thread 96

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

We don't have get through these at speed....

The Rules

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun- stop
9. Loo update is mandatory

10. No dating the thread 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches, and take from it what you will

I hated speed dating for that reason Folk & did not help going with a friendwho is much more adept... Only went once but nev er again! 3 minutes is either too long or too short too!
Prefer one to one with someone I have a chance of having something in common with....the one I went to had more women signed up so the organiser filled the men quota with his mates who had no intention of dating - one admitted it to me.

Feeling a bit meh today,Mr finance,who I thought was lovely,just seems to want to have phone sex,doesent seem to want to do little else,the convo always goes back to it,so I actually said in an email last night,that I was looking for a little more than this,surprise surprise,no reply!honestly thinking there's nobody decent around anymore😐
Red....delighted for you

Hi all!

Hope you all had a great weekend! My sandwich and I are going to play thread catch up..

Red just wow. I am really happy for you!! Nothing like a good success story to put things in perspective, a good match is lurking in the OLD shadows for each of us, just need to find that gem. Out of curiosity, how many dates did you have before MrF?

Waving nothing wrong in pursuing other irons and flirt at the party I think since you have some doubts about Soho. It is his job to clear those up and sweep you off dating for good. No matter what might have been said, until he does, you should feel free to keep an eye out.

Folk I have never done speed dating either and I am not sure I would like it, but if you have the opportunity to go and see for yourself, I think it could be fun to try something else. Nothing to lose and who knows what might happen!

Sassy what I meant earlier is that I wish I were able to keep both feet on the ground when someone I like starts interacting with me. (Yes that makes me sound desperate ) also I think I need to focus more on spotting red-flags than on finding common ground. I have never really been burnt before and I am very much an optimist so perhaps that is why I am a lot less relaxed

And new detective on the Good Wife is indeed very hot. Love his voice too!

Re filthy messages, I do not really get any. But I got a couple of rude, insulting ones. not sure it is better.. I pretty much only have headshot pictures so my big boobs do not appear. Except in the full length one but they are a bit hidden and overshadowed by my model friend hugging me. (BTW ever heard of the "cheerleader squad principle"? According to my friend, everyone looks 10x better when standing next to better looking people - I find it quite true actually haha)

That is going to be a epic post for a smallish update, sorry about that! Mr Theatre is apparently still alive and finally messaged yesterday suggesting we meet up "for a drink or maybe do something less common and find a cool exhibition or concert to go to". I am not sure whether I am going to be able to laugh off his snobbishness for a very long time. Told him to surprise me. We shall see.
And now.. TinyMrGrey . We exchanged a couple messages, he is sweet but getting too full on given that we have not even met yet. He just sent one saying he finds it hard to concentrate at work today and would rather be spending time with me. Wtf. Oh and he went a bit TMI too, saying he was feeling "nauseous" over the weekend. Ha gave me his phone number and wants to go on a date too.
So this is me with two potential dates and a fully-booked week as I have some family over. Nothing else to report sadly.

If I join another site, should I lie about my age? I'm nearly 45. I will be showing up in the searches of men in their sixties. That's just a waste of everybody's time. Or would it be no worse than it is now?

I've just spent about half an hour doing that 'meet me' thing trying to drum up interest on pof. The men are all so fat and scruffy and so many of them are clutching a pint or wearing a liverpool strip. They don't look after themselves like women do :-p

Are you only storing up an awkward conversation down the line if you lie? wdyt?

I'm 51 and haven't lied. I've had a 61 year old and a 66 year old message me (the age range I'm looking for is 47 to 54), but have had more men in their twenties and thirties than older, to be honest. I'm only on OKC.

I do agree with you though that men seem to go to shit at about 50, I've been very picky indeed with the ones I've messaged. I do find myself looking at the profile picture of a man my age, and wondering why the hell he looks nearly 60 ...

I agree that men in their 50s don't seem to age as well as,women :( while still deluding themselves that a 25yo is going to look at them - it does irritate me when mid 50s men are looking g for women 25-45!
I showed a man friend some of the men on pof & he was equally convinced some were shaving 10 yrs off their age...

I've noticed another thing, even men in their 50s who have children already, they always say they're open/undecided wrt having more children. I find it very hard to believe that a man of 53 would want to have a child. What they want is to not scare away younger women. They won't say anything on their profile that would make it (even) less likely that a younger woman would message them. It's so transparent.

I did cancel a date at the last minute when I discovered the man was nearly 60 not 51. I just couldn't go there, not yet. fgs.

Out of curiosity, how many dates did you have before MrF?

We met through a mutual friend, so there were a couple of times we met with others and then saw each other a couple of times just the two of us and he kissed me on the second of these. I think it was just after that that we discussed two things, firstly that neither of us was interested in rushing in to sex and secondly that neither of us was particularly looking to not be single so why not give it a go and not date other people in the meantime.

Oh right, I've just read your words properly. Duh. I went out a couple of times with one other man, and this was in November. We had known each other for a few years through a hobby. We never got to the kissing stage and it became obvious that we weren't actually after the same kind of relationship, so I'm glad I held off getting physical with him.

OK my standards are so low. I just got three messages and I replied to them all. One from a man with really bad written English, one from a man who is 5'7", 49, a bit fat, but "really young at heart" and another who I have forgotten already. I'm trying to recall one detail about him, nope, it's gone. None of them live anywhere near me so I'll chat with them until conversation dies down.

But now, a workout.

Waving, I can't face jillian tonight so I'll do a fitness blender. they have a new one out. Only 31 minutes. I can face that. I can. I can. :-/ Hiit it off.

Can someone post a link to some of these workouts pls? Seems like a great antidote to marking & more fun than my other displacement activities.. :)

I have no idea whether I'm being reasonable or not

I had a bit of a problem with feeling that my being out of sight meant being out of mind. I don't want five texts a day, I want one point of contact, a phone call in the evening or a Good Morning text, something to let me know that I'm not boxed away.

Evening all

jolly in life I am a hugely positive person, but with dating I try and exercise a huge degree of caution. It actually takes quite a lot for someone whom I think is good fun etc to move across into someone I quite like. I don't ever really 'like' someone early on because I don't know them.
Does that make sense? I also have a hefty dose of cynicism with everything.
My view is if they disappear after messaging or a couple of dates then they've not wasted my time. I'd far rather be spending my time and energy trying to meet the right person. Not with someone who thinks I'm just ok.
So, you going to make plans with either of your two?

314 I wouldn't lie about my age. Don't want people thinking I had a tough paper round.

Lol waving. I can't figure out if you really like soho and are protecting yourself. Or if he is actually not quite cutting the mustard. Either way j say party up a storm!

scot and I have a date on Saturday
photoboy and I couldn't make the stars align today (my fault) so we're trying for Friday.

The new contender ( whose banter is off the charts good) just asked me out. This one I suspect isn't ideally looking for someone with kids but given we have tons in common and have hit if off, may just be in it for the physical. Need to watch myself with this one.

I did waving, I just pretty much explained the out of sight, out of mind worry. I think he's just a bit older than the mobile phone generation so it hadn't really occurred to him.

What are your date plans with scot Sassy?

Thx Waving I'm going to try it later :)

waving which do you seriously think it is? Can you try and unpick it?

red no idea yet. Waiting to see what the weather is doing and then deciding. I reckon a bit of walking via some pubs in London could be fun.

Ladies if you want a good laugh, go read the thread on farting in relationships. It'll cheer you up no end!

Thanks for the suggestion to read that thread toosassy , that thread has been catching my eye for days and I have wondered, does she really care that much!

ps, you're right. Instead of lying about my age, I should just say 'yes this IS a recent photo!'. And you're right. I wasted 6 weeks, well, not all six of them, but I deep down knew that I didn't have the connection with H and I went ahead and selpt with him anyway. Now I'm tormenting myself with the thought that I did something that disgusted him in bed.

I did a forty minute fitness blender and that helped me feel like I'm getting my power back. But toosassy you're right, I must remember that i'm not milling through men for casual short term dating + sex, I'm looking for a connection and chemistry with somebody who is interested in a relationship with me so I must slow down even more. I know it took 8 dates to sleep with H but even so, I was hoping it would become something even though I knew it wouldn't last long term. If you know by date 6 that it won't endure, then what are you doing......... I get so bored of being single. I just wanted a break from being single boo hoo