Financial control - Part 2

[AngryMo]

Just starting new thread. Hopefully can kickstart it with details of my CAB meeting.

Well done ! You've done it!

Holiday, shmoliday - all good evidence for financial abuse.

I think you're going to need legals to get a proper settlement in place. I wouldn't recommend CSA - chocolate teapot. But my ex was s/e so I had no choice but to go down the legal route. CSA wouldn't be interested in, say, his going on holiday when you and the kids don't have enough to eat.

I have to agree with pp's that if I wanted something I asked for the opposite. Say I wanted him to collect the kids early I'd ask him to collect them late - and vice versa. Worked Every Single Time! I could rely on it. Bear that in mind - certainly on the 'small' things.

But you're going to need a legal framework of some kind along the way. Do read the 'divorcing a narc' thread.

But CELEBRATIONS!! The show is on the road!! BRAVO!

WTAF!?

On holiday......On. Fucking. Holiday

Get copies of this, as it may become useful.

And....open one of his bottles this weekend.

It's a holiday. Not remotely work related. For the Easter weekend. And not a word to me about taking the kids somewhere for a treat, or even money for Easter treats.

I thought sending that email was the worst bit but this is far worse. He genuinely does not give a shit about his children. And he's hiding this little trip from me, that's how pathetic he is.

Urgh, just urgh.

I would be tempted to speak to his Mum and tell him that it's over and tell her about his latest behaviour that you are struggling to make ends meet and he's gone on holiday whilst his children suffer and they deserve so much more.

Yes that's not a bad idea. I'm quite happy for the world and his wife to know about this now.

He would say but they are not suffering, they have everything they need don't they. Look at me, I'm a good dad.

Really, they get to have out of school activities that would enrich their life, they get to have the healthiest/best diet they could, they get to have a positive family life and role model?

I agree with you Mo

He doesn't give a shit. The only person he cares about is himself.....hence why he has not chosen to spend the Easter break with you all.

It does speak volumes that he has hidden the fact he is on holiday from you.

Tell everyone

Mouth open here, how dare he treat himself to a holiday, with no mention of it ?
Did friend say where he was going ? maybe he was heading home for a surprise with arms full of chocolate for the kids ? eek
Did he add a couple of quid to the weekly allowance for an easter egg each for the kids.
well I hope email ruins his holiday ! Bastard

I've already seen photos of him posing with a beer in a resort. This is the lowest of the low, you can't get any worse. My poor poor kids with a father like that. What an idiot I've been staying with him but thank god they have me to now protect them from him.

Think I'd be telling his Mum and then letting everyone know on Facebook and I'm not the sort of person who ever shares anything/much on there but I'd want his friends etc to be told just what kind of person he really is!

Probably won't do it or it's a bad idea anyway, but I want to post the pic of him with his beer on fb, saying let's all wish P a fantastic Easter break in X with his friend Y! This is his third holiday this year! While his partner and three children have been living on £550 a month. I've been a single parent for three months, have been doing a (thing I haven't detailed) and thing b and he also expects me to work at c while he's away in the evening!
Let's congratulate him on his fantastic unique style of parenting and making sure he always has enough money in his pocket.
By the way, he's not coming back for Easter holidays to see his kids, he's coming back after so he can go to a wedding!
His children don't have anything to look forward to this Easter break, no trips, or money for Easter eggs.

Sorry few mistakes and things. I'm obviously feeling very calm right now. Not.

I am desperate to post it (edited and improved). Flipping desperate. Someone stop me!

'Hope you are enjoying your holiday, you must have forgotten to mention it, have you sent the children Easter eggs? I don't have enough housekeeping left to buy any for them.

I am a cow, I wouldn't be able to resist, you do what you think is best Mo.

I like grumpyoldblondes response although I'd say something along the lines of "the housekeeping budget you imposed doesn't leave any money for treats so I can't afford to get them eggs or take them anywhere over the break".
That said I'm not so sure it's a good thing to post publicly at the moment. I can totally understand why you'd want to though - he's such a fucking arsehole. How long is it since he's seen his children? He's got a few days off, any half decent dad would be in the first flight home to spend a few days with them.
He doesn't deserve you or those lovely children.

Yes, I don't think it would be a good idea to post, do it here Mo to get it out of your system maybe?
Will his parents be dropping eggs in for the children?

I would just do it, but it probably is a bad idea to get into a public fight at this point.

I have more dignity than that don't I. Extremely tempting but no. I'm not an over sharer anyway normally. God I was close though!

I suppose it's up to you, what harm would it do posting it - I can't think of any but that is what you must consider?

You've told him it's over, it would expose him for who he is and your friends may realise that you really need their support?

You're probably right not to post. Although you could always go for a very minimal but totally PA post saying "glad you're having a good time on holiday"

It is really impressive how well you're holding things together Mo, it must be so hard but you're doing an amazing job.

He's immature so could retaliate saying things about me which people won't know are true or not. I'm better off just venting to you guys and individually to the people who matter. Disappointed by my rational thinking

Maybe just a confused 'Are you on holiday?'