Financial control - Part 2

[AngryMo]

Just starting new thread. Hopefully can kickstart it with details of my CAB meeting.

The suggestion of proposed list, is to let him think he is in control. when infact it may be the way to move on fast without a fight.

Can you claim benefits and child benefits as a single person? Yes he pays the mortgage but so he should it's his asset. You might feel more in control of you have your own money.
Can you eBay/gumtree any expensive wine stuff you dont use or won't need in a smaller place.
Save up as much as you can.
Tell him it's over and put in a claim for child maintenance I bet it will be more than his top up on the shopping card.
See if you can get a part time job - you're getting child benefits and tax credits it will contribute to child care.
Once you have some money coming in that he has no say in you will feel more in control.

Ok I've slept on it, and good job too. I've realised that the legal route is not an option as such, that's just where I will go if I'm forced to. I can still resort to Schedule 1 with a solicitor if I really really need to. But I doubt it. The best thing is to simply move on, whatever that may bring. I'm terrified about housing options, as mentioned several times, but I really don't feel like I have any other choice but to move in that direction. He can't throw us out. He can't stop paying the mortgage. I have plenty of time to crack on and find a place that works for now and can claim benefits in the meantime.

Ok I've slept on it, and good job too. I've realised that the legal route is not an option as such, that's just where I will go if I'm forced to. I can still resort to Schedule 1 with a solicitor if I really really need to. But I doubt it. The best thing is to simply move on, whatever that may bring. I'm terrified about housing options, as mentioned several times, but I really don't feel like I have any other choice but to move in that direction. He can't throw us out. He can't stop paying the mortgage. I have plenty of time to crack on and find a place that works for now and can claim benefits in the meantime.

well.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/08/24/divorcing-a-narcissist/?WT.mc_id=2016-KWP-INTL_AUD_DEV&WT.mc_ev=click&ad-keywords=IntlAudDev&kwp_0=104571&kwp_4=564650&kwp_1=297296

have you found out what benefits you be be liable for ?
If you own half the value of the house, you will find that benefits may not be forthcoming.

The value of the house will be discounted - for 26 weeks I believe, whilst you are going through a separation. It may be extended if you can prove you are making steps to sell the property.

The deed is done.

You have told him?
God, you must be reeling, bet your legs are jelly?
Oh, good luck Mo, things will likely get worse before they get better, but the only way is up from there.

Big congrats Mo! Let's us know when you have stopped shaking!

Re house selling the money is not deducted after you have sold it for 26 weeks. Not just because you own a house. You can still be house rich and not have a penny to live on!
(Was checking it on gingerbread website yesterday for you)

Oh well done. Such a fucking relief. It'll take a couple of days to sink in.

Makes Mo large cup of tea and hot cross buns.

Slips a brandy into that tea.

You are genuinely Super Woman !!!! well done....
onwards & upwards
Huge Hug !

Wow. Are you ok? I suspect you're all over the place feeling one thing one movement and one thing the next.

We're all here for you

*moment

I have no opinions on your bowel movements

well done Mo, and good luck going forwards

Well done Mo

We're all here.

You guys won't believe this: I send him the it's over email and my friend messaged me to tell me he's on holiday (posted something via the other social networking site). Unbefuckinglievable. He'll get the email, no doubt about that though.

Try and screenshot as much of that as you can in case you need evidence of financial abuse.

Omg that takes the piss. On holiday when his children can't have new shoes or enough to eat.

Print and save these threads, Mo, and see if you can get your friend to snapshot you the Facebook one. Although you are not in the divorce position, it will help to build your evidence for the inevitable legal wrangling.

I'm not even angry or crying. It just shows what I'm dealing with: he lives in his own selfish world and doesn't deserve his lovely children.

It speaks volumes about him. When you say holiday is that actually a vacation or a couple of days off work?
How can he show so little interest in his kids lives? Any kind of emergency could occur back home and he is so detached from it all.
You have been very brave Mo.

Should I let him know I know?
I feel very sad for my children right now.

I expect you will hear from him soon enough, he will be checking emails I guess even though on holiday. Do you think you should tell him you know? Or just store it as yet another reason you are binning him?