Am I making too much of this? sorry may be tmi...

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I have been seeing a guy for a few months. In general he is quite affectionate and tactile which is fine, but I don't like it when he uses a very "light" touch, I find it tickly and annoying I have told him this several times, but he still insists on doing it, and actually seems to do it on purpose as he thinks it's funny to wind me up. It's starting to piss me off now.

In bed he is usually great - very unselfish and skilled. However this morning he had ahem been stimulating me manually and brought me to orgasm. I thought it was pretty obvious that I had come but he carried on so I attempted to push his hand away, however he carried on. (He is 6'4" and strong) he then moved me into a different position and I thought perhaps we were going to have sex, but again he continued rubbing away and tbh it was uncomfortable and I really didn't like it. So I told him to stop another couple of times but he had me held quite tightly so I shouted for him to stop and heaved him off me so that he was in no doubt, he then tried to move me into a position to have sex but I wriggled out from underneath him and said no I didn't want to, and he stopped trying. I rolled over and lay there in silence and we have gone about our day as if nothing has happened.

I am wondering wtf did happen? He is meant to be meeting my dd this afternoon for the first time, but I don't know wtf to do now... Am I overreacting?

I'm so pleased you got rid of him :)

My xh did this. I don't remember when it started. But it became completely normal that I would have to physically push him off me with all my strength before he'd stop doing something that hurt me :(

I'd feel embarrassed and not want to make a fuss. I didn't want to offend him or make him think he was bad in bed.

It escalated and I still didn't leave. It all crept up from pushing boundaries to rape. I still didn't want to make a fuss. If I screamed and pushed him off i would have to admit what was happening.

I wish I had had the courage to see it for what it was and leave at the first instance.

I wish I'd been as strong as you.

It's a total lack of basic respect and understanding that he has no rights over your body.

I've just checked in after reading your thread earlier. Well done, you

I was with someone who did that whole tickling, light touching thing ALL the time. I hated it. Felt violated that I couldn't even watch the news without him lightly running his hands up and down my inner leg. I would ask him to stop because I didn't like it and he would turn on me saying I was weird, apparently everyone likes being touched like that, tickled like that etc. According to him it was one of the reasons I was single. He's gone now, thank god and I can watch the news in peace

I hope he went quietly for you, and we'll done for respecting your boundaries!!

YK I don't think many of us would have recognised what was happening if we were in your shoes

Thanks Handsome. Hindsight is 20:20

I eventually left the bastard, but not because of that. I should have left because of that. But I didn't even think of it as an issue until about a year after I'd left. It's amazing what you can normalise given time and a slow build up.

Never quash that uncomfortable feeling.

Well done, that's great he's gone - hope your ok and he wasn't too difficult

Well done. You've handled this brilliantly. So glad he's gone X

He sounds awful, why would you put him in the same room as your daughter??
It's your job to protect her

Bee The OP hasn't put him in the same room as her daughter and she has protected her.

Very well done OP, that was brave. You did absolutely the right thing.

Glad you have RL support too OP.

So much easier to do this now than later down the line. Sometimes we get caught up in thinking behaviour isn't that bad, and almost waiting for it to get "bad enough to LTB" - it's a real show of your strength that you didn't wait around to see how much worse it could get.

Bee the OP has done a fab job at protecting her. Many people would have tolerated this behaviour and continued with the plans. Op you've been incredibly brave

Oh right, I missed that bit
Well done for leaving him

Cleensheets- bless you, thank you! Yes I have had help- it was nearly six years ago, and I am now happily married with a lovely DH :-).

Op- well done! It's so hard to show that what you have done has prevention something horrible from happening in the future- but I promise, it has!

You have dodged a bullet here.

I just wanted to say well done. You've been incredibly brave and strong and protected both yourself and your daughter.

Oh wow, no not acceptable at all. Are you ok OP? Glad that he's gone, take care of yourself and remember that it is not your fault and you are not over reacting

Well done

Well done that must have been so hard, take some time for you and enjoy the spa break with your friend. Good luck.

glad that he has gone. I agree that you had no choice. He should have stopped when you asked him to. It could be a mistake/misunderstanding, but it could be the start of worse as others have suggested from their own experience.

Well done

I was going to say after tour first post that I'd go with option b) on TheStoic's list of options.

Reason I say this is that some guys do actually think that they know best and that you'll enjoy their Masterful handiwork or whatever, that you're just being shy or something.

So a very definite "I know my own mind. If I tell you to stop, you stop. Immediately. That is my boundary" would suffice. And they'd apologise, genuinely, and never do it again.

But reading about your tickling update, I just don't think he gets it, at all. So right move to dump.

Hope you're okay.

He sounds scary op. You know what to do really.

Have you spoken about this in more depth with him? Have you asked him ¨Why did you not stop when I asked you to more than once?!¨

Any normal bloke who cared about their partner would not go on like he did. I agree it´s a red flag. But it´s up to you if you wanna give him 1 final chance to redeem himself. It really does depend if you honestly feel 100% safe with him and can relax the next time you´re having sex with him.

Cos this would be a dealbreaker for some women and would most definately put them off going to bed with him again. So do you feel he´s burnt his bridges? Or you need to spell it out like he´s glaiket and he has to understand and promise that in future if you say ¨no¨ or ¨stop¨ he bloody well heeds what you´re saying!

So the decision is yours, does he deserve a second chance or not? Also, do you feel comfortable going away with him? If not then don´t just go along with it to keep him happy. You´re master of your own destiny, I know I wouldn´t give a chuff about putting his nose out of joint if I weren´t 100% comfortable with my partner....and this behaviour would unsettle me, personally.

Well Done (flowers)

When he was carrying on after you had told him to stop, was he stimulating himself at the same time? I am in no way condoning what he did and he should have stopped but I wonder if he was caught up in the moment?