Am I making too much of this? sorry may be tmi...

[HashTagYesYes]

I have been seeing a guy for a few months. In general he is quite affectionate and tactile which is fine, but I don't like it when he uses a very "light" touch, I find it tickly and annoying I have told him this several times, but he still insists on doing it, and actually seems to do it on purpose as he thinks it's funny to wind me up. It's starting to piss me off now.

In bed he is usually great - very unselfish and skilled. However this morning he had ahem been stimulating me manually and brought me to orgasm. I thought it was pretty obvious that I had come but he carried on so I attempted to push his hand away, however he carried on. (He is 6'4" and strong) he then moved me into a different position and I thought perhaps we were going to have sex, but again he continued rubbing away and tbh it was uncomfortable and I really didn't like it. So I told him to stop another couple of times but he had me held quite tightly so I shouted for him to stop and heaved him off me so that he was in no doubt, he then tried to move me into a position to have sex but I wriggled out from underneath him and said no I didn't want to, and he stopped trying. I rolled over and lay there in silence and we have gone about our day as if nothing has happened.

I am wondering wtf did happen? He is meant to be meeting my dd this afternoon for the first time, but I don't know wtf to do now... Am I overreacting?

Definitely take your friend away on the spa break. Go and speak to him now, get it over with. We are all here for you.

I'm sorry you had to deal with this, but you are being so strong putting a stop to it.

I completely understand why you are feeling a bit attacked, there are lots of posts telling you what to do, and that it's easy, you just have to....
That's not helpful and it doesn't take your feelings into account.

You had such high hopes for him and the meeting and the break, that his behaviour has really shaken you. You had put your trust in him and he has broken that.

You're absolutely not making a mountain out of a molehill, his behaviour is a massive issue, and it can't just be brushed over with a few grovelling gestures. It's an indication of his attitude towards you.

I hope you manage to sort things out without too much agro.

Thinking of you. You're doing the right thing.

I hope you didn't think I was attacking you. Your op just sounded so familiar and has just got worse over the 9 years we have been together and now we have two more children (already had a dd) it is very difficult to change things. Plus the constant breaking of boundaries break you in the end.

I'm so glad you are ending it you are a stronger person than me!

what he did to you was horrible, (and he'll carry on doing it by the sounds of things)

You must be in shock but I'm so glad you've decided to finish it with him. Please ask your friend to come over soon, so you aren't alone with him.

And if you can, tell him exactly why you are finishing things. Hopefully he won't do it to his next girlfriend.

fastingmum is there anyone you can talk to about what's happening?

I'm not troll hunting I just said I hope it's not real because it's actually a very bad situation - which you say you know it is.

I'm sorry if you think I've been tough I don't want you to feel attacked it's just I didn't want to sugar coat it.

My friend has just gone through a similar thing were her very new BF was asking to meet her dd and she did. He moved in very quickly and it was a disaster. These men pray on vunerable single mothers.

Don't feel scared. Make a good excuse and ask him to leave. You hold all the power here.

I agree I'd ask some one to come round

Op this sounds so familiar-

My ex partner used to do this, or things like this. Playing with me when I had finished and would push his hand or mouth away, and being forceful about "offering the opportunity to have multiple orgasms". He knew my body better than I did, in his opinion, because of all the women he bad been with. I just had to "trust him". I just looked the other way.

Two years later I was a broken women and didn't even realize intkl about two months after the fact that he had actually raped me with a friend. He convinced me I wanted it.

Take your time and gather your thoughts and definitely get your friend's help and support...

It is hard to end things over something which may seem trivial, but it's the first step to very twisted power plays and abuse...

Sorry you're going through this! Take good care of or yourself.

london that is terrible. I hope you are ok. Have you seeked help

Hope you're ok. You are doing the right thing ending it now.

OP tickling is a classic sign of abuse. It's particularly cunning isn't it? What's the problem, it doesn't hurt. It's just a bit of fun. So you are the problem if you can't see it's just a fun game.

It's testing your boundaries, how far can I go?. It's abuse by stealth (as above). It's also a form of torture as others have said.

I'm only reiterating this so you stay strong and know your instincts are bang on.

Sorry if you feel overwhelmed and bossed about! We actually care about you because no-one wants to find themselves trapped in an abusive relationship after ignoring or not recognising red flags (which you HAVE recognised).

I'd also get someone round yes.

Get someone (or multiples someones) you can rely on round to yours and get the rapey fucker out of your house. Much strength to you OP, you must be feeling so shocked and sad, but you're doing the right thing

Oops, just realised I probably sound like I'm attacking you as well, but I'm really not. As shade says it's just because we do care and this man is a dangerous shit and we don't want him anywhere near you.

He's gone. I'll be back with a full update soon, but right now I'm going to call my friend. Thanks everyone.

Hope it's gone ok

Good for you op

Well done Hash.

Glad to hear it, hope you're okay lovely xx

You've had some good advice her but I know it's hard to hear when you have been getting on do well with him in other ways.

Tell him he's not going to meet your DD because you've taught her about boundaries and 'no meaning no', concepts he's obviously not familiar with. You can't trust him to spend time with your daughter because if he tickles her against her will she has been given permission to kick him in the groin, which you know will bother him.

If you do stay with him might I suggest doing the same to him - ie after he has finished, carry on doing very vigorous and 'stimulating' things to him when he will be very sensitive and probably uncomfortable. I know my dp can't take it when I carry on for even a second of two after the event. Tell him he's enjoying it, that you're doing lovely things to him and he really wants it and see how he likes it!

Ahh slow typing!

Glad he's gone X

Well done OP, that can't have been easy. You are strong and fabulous and don't need anyone less than perfect in your life. Lucky escape. x