Am I making too much of this? sorry may be tmi...

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I have been seeing a guy for a few months. In general he is quite affectionate and tactile which is fine, but I don't like it when he uses a very "light" touch, I find it tickly and annoying I have told him this several times, but he still insists on doing it, and actually seems to do it on purpose as he thinks it's funny to wind me up. It's starting to piss me off now.

In bed he is usually great - very unselfish and skilled. However this morning he had ahem been stimulating me manually and brought me to orgasm. I thought it was pretty obvious that I had come but he carried on so I attempted to push his hand away, however he carried on. (He is 6'4" and strong) he then moved me into a different position and I thought perhaps we were going to have sex, but again he continued rubbing away and tbh it was uncomfortable and I really didn't like it. So I told him to stop another couple of times but he had me held quite tightly so I shouted for him to stop and heaved him off me so that he was in no doubt, he then tried to move me into a position to have sex but I wriggled out from underneath him and said no I didn't want to, and he stopped trying. I rolled over and lay there in silence and we have gone about our day as if nothing has happened.

I am wondering wtf did happen? He is meant to be meeting my dd this afternoon for the first time, but I don't know wtf to do now... Am I overreacting?

OP - you asked 'are you making too much of it' but yet you say 'I rolled over and lay there in silence and we have gone about our day as if nothing has happened.' What about this is you making too much of it?

You are making far too less of it.

So he is staying several days and nights with you and your daughter? And you 'may be' scared of him? No way should he be in your home with the way you feel about him now.

I think you should ask him to leave today and think about things. You are having serious doubts and I don't blame you.

I have to say I would tell him it's over. I'm the op from the other tickling thread and I ignored things like this and now I'm living with someone who barely listens when I say no to things. He definitely gets a kick out of the power thing. He's 6ft 4 and about 19 st so I have no home of pushing him off. (He's never raped me but won't stop things like tickling when I say no). I've became almost numb to things now as he just doesn't listen and am finding it hard to end it.

So please don't end up like me

Hope not home

Op it's not difficult to stop him from seeing your dd at all. You just say - I want you to go home.

This guy is not right. He continued to do things to you sexually when you did not want him to - that's actually a huge red flag and pushing towards sexual assualt!

Do you really want a man around your daughter that thinks he can do what the fuck he wants to women. How do you know what his boundaries will be like with your daughter?

This guy is dangerous tell him to do one before you even introduce him to the most precious thing in your life.

OMG fasting you need help to get that prick out of your home!

Obviously I did not arrange for dd to meet him knowing he was like this. He lives in the south east, I live in the south west. It would be a massive deal to send him home, and I am just feeling a bit apprehensive about coming out and saying it. But the thought of having sex with him again makes me skin crawl so I know it's over. I also categorically do NOT want him meeting dd.

It's just a massive shock when things go from going really well to all of a sudden going irretrievably wrong. I can on here as I wasn't sure whether it was as bad as I felt it was.

...and for clarity, it's simple for you, because he hasn't met your daughter, you're a few months into a relationship. It's not so simple a couple of years down the line when you're living together, engaged or married, pregnant with his child, financially dependant on him.

You've seen a red flag, you know it's a red flag, it needs to be addressed.

By all means let him offer you some sort of weasly explanation, that you'll accept because he's otherwise a great bloke, you know, when he's isn't sexually abusing you.

I feeling a bit attacked here, I know in my head this is all wrong, but it is quite easy to feel uncertain of yourself when something like this has just happened to you

You do need to get him away from you and your dd, OP. Be wary of the hangdog, puppy-eyes 'but I thought you liked it? I thought I was pleasing you'...

He needs to be told, for future reference, that No means NO.

Don't let this go. Hold onto that 'skin-crawling' feeling.

Well the skin crawling thing tells you it's over. You won't be able to bear being with him. Bite the bullet and send him home.

If you don't feel comfortable or feel scared, don't end it face to face. Either just say you're not ready for him to to meet DD after all, do you mind if we leave it a while longer kinda thing then tell him by phone that it's over. Or just make an excuse, you've had a text, DD not well, not ideal to meet as she's been sick, he's needs to leave and you'll arrange it another time....

Good luck.

Sorry if you're feeling attacked, just give yourself some breathing space and get him to leave, then read your OP again and think what advice you'd be likely to give.

Sorry you're feeling attacked op
Have you got any rl support locally to you? Would you be scared of asking him to leave?

It would be a massive deal to send him home

Sucks to be him. Maybe he shouldn't have sexually assaulted you.

However, I understand that you may not want to cause a scene - this might actually be your subconscious telling you to play along with him until he has gone and you are safe.

Can you ring your ex (where this horrible rapey fucker can't hear you) and ask him to keep DD there for tonight and take her to school tomorrow? Just tell him that you're having some sort of emergency. A violent vomiting and diarrhoea bug, perhaps. Or that there's a total power failure. Or if you have a good relationship, tell him the truth (or a sanitised version)?

Then you tell rapey fucker that DD isn't coming back from dad's as she is not well/his car won't start/whatever, what a shame, maybe next time.

Then you tell him your period started unexpectedly and you feel totally awful so would he mind sleeping in your DD's bed for the night? Then put something across your door.

You've had a horrible shock OP, batten down until you can get rid of the fucker

Not scared as such - it's just it will be a massive deal. His train home is all booked and it's meant to be next Friday. This hotel break we are going on is all booked. I don't think he will get angry, but I do think he will be upset. I just wanted to be sure I am not making a mountain out of a molehill.

No, no mountains and molehills in sight

Hotels can be cancelled, trains can be re-booked, you've said you know it's over, so he just can't stay, sorry. Big girl pants time

Yes, I can see that it would be a lot easier if things went apparently to plan and he goes off as expected, and then you can end things quietly at a distance. If you can find a workaround to avoid dd meeting him as pocketsaviour suggests? Or make up a family emergency that means you have to go off somewhere, and the only option is for him to go home. Something facesaving for him, and non-confrontational.

He has actually just gone and done the tickly thing to me again just now!I told him I don't like that and he carried on. Then I said Ffs you know I don't like it so why are you doing it?! He laughed!! And then I said no I am being fucking serious and then I asked him why he didn't stop earlier, and he said when do you mean? I said you know when. He didn't say anything but I said it really bothered me and I said in future if I say I don't like/want something then I fucking mean it. He looked all hurt and now he is trying to be super nice - making me coffee and running me a bath. I am fucking fuming.

Does he know you're fuming? If not, why not?

Well I made myself fairly clear in the last conversation...

The train won't cost more than £60 max
The hotel can be cancelled
Yes there will be a bit of money lost but far better that than you introduce your daughter to someone you're going to break up with shortly - because you do have good instincts and you know this isn't right - so it's a choice of today, next week or a few months down the line but you will break up with him.
So rip the plaster off. Break ups are horrible, it will be unpleasant and upsetting. But staying with him would be much more upsetting.

He really doesn't like you having boundaries around your own body does he? And now he's making it all about him by looking hurt and acting like a nice guy while you're sooo unreasonable

So you're not dumping him

Google his name, you never know if he has a history.

Be careful because if you stay with him he seems sexually abusive and these things do tend to escalate over time.