Step inside the dating thread, 95

[MissPiggySeeksFrogwithGSOH]

We don't have get through these at speed....

The Rules

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun- stop
9. Loo update is mandatory

10. No dating the thread 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches, and take from it what you will

Hi, I'm new. I've been lurking for a while. I was recently dating someone, but that's now ended (his decision) - not sure how I feel about it. He still wants to stay friends & has been messaging me - but don't think it's anything more than friends.
Anyway, I'm wondering how you all manage to get regular dates - is it all through OLD? I've not done any of that and am a bit skeptical/ wary?
Any good sites?

I don't even think I could write a decent profile of myself or even know what type of person I'm looking for!

Obviously there's nothing implicitly wrong with superman pants, but they don't exactly scream 'I'm a sex goddess' do they?

I don't know about MrCS's body, I haven't seen it, but he is handsome. But he's gone quiet again so whilst I should block him I'm kind of hanging on to see if he contacts me again.

Was it today you were supposed to be having lunch with MrCS gast?

Yeah, haven't heard anything from him since about Tuesday.

Not looking good then, hey? I'd write him off (mentally, don't block) and focus your energies on Teach.

Welcome w1986! I'm on POF, OKCupid and Tinder. I've had some success with all of them. I was also on Match but stopped that as I started to find the same people popping up everywhere so thought there was no point paying! They are all much of a muchness, IMHO. Some weirdos and some decent blokes on all. Tinder is obviously more skewed to the hookup/casual dating end of the spectrum.

Have a good look at people's profiles on a few sites and work out what appeals you and what doesn't. You can always tweak your profile as you go along and you realise what is/isn't important to you.

I need to start taking notes and not reading in the bath...
Tonight is confirmed. I feel happier about tonight. The guy messages, but not too much or too little.

My resolve broke with London. He messaged "pondering about you while o drink my coffee in Costa" the pondering drew me in, as he knew it would. Pondering what I was up to. And that he despises not chatting with me. So I answered "you know what to do" and then he started being cheeky and drew me back in.
Mrtravel has been in touch a lot too, do they have a sixth sense as to when were going on dates!?
I'll just say hi to you all for now... Moves too damn quick haha.

Will read thread properly later, am on my break.

what's going on? Why are you struggling?

I feel silly admitting this, but... So far things with MrF have been great, amazing connection etc. but between dates there's little to no contact. It makes me feel defensive and like cooling off, withdrawing in to my shell like a rather cute and witty snail.

We've got a bit of a thing tomorrow night with his colleagues and it's a big ask of me at this early stage and I feel petulant like not making an effort if he's not going to make the effort with me. Even there I know I'm being a bit unfair.. Sorry I'm rushing this.

Please talk sense in to me!!

waving it was me who had the torso shots. I'm now ignoring his texts. He was after the same from me torso was lovely though

btw everyone..at last, I seem to have found a very legible candidate. Just lovely banter chat, funny, consistent, sweet, just the right amount of flirting and impeccable grammar, he's very lovely. Chatting for a couple of days now, I'll call him Mr Ad, no talk of meeting up yet, but so far so good, he's very quick with responses and they are fairly frequent.

....as you were.

Redleaf, we are in a similar place. After a flurry of texts yesterday (by which I mean, about four in total) only two today. I am starting to think "is this good enough for me?". To begin with I was blown away by H, I wanted him to like me. Because it felt like a validation to have this tall, attractive, successful, socially presentable man like ME. He's great to be with, so attentive when your'e with him, generous, clever, successful....................... but I feel a bit lonely atm and I miss the constant texts from B. Or somebody who communicates in that way. H is too professional or something. The charisma feels so warm when you're with him, but cooler when you're not with him.

Or maybe I feel like that because he's away and I haven't seen him since Tuesday and it will be about Tuesday before I see him again. And then, he'll be Charisma, charm and warmth itself........ and I'll be back to thinking he's fantastic again, until I feel cut off and lonely the next day.

Out with a girl friend tonight and so looking forward to it!

What should I do? continue or not?!

ps redleaf, an introduction to colleagues means he's feeling fairly certain I would have thought.

If I were brave enough, I'd say to H that I don't feel close to him or connected to him unless I'm with him. Who knows, maybe I'll end up saying that.

This is awful custard but I'm so glad I'm not suffering alone

Like H, F just isn't a texter. I think it's his age. I don't want lots of texts, just reassurance that he's not cooling off. Too many texts would piss me off.

They just can't win

We can help each other figure it out.
Maybe im expecting an unnatural degree of closeness.... there would be an argument for saying that. But there will come a point, after which, i wont be unreasonable for feeling cut off in between dates.

Yeah, 42.

I think no contact for a few days would be fine in these early weeks. On the other hand if he's hoping to show me off to colleagues or get me in to bed etc then, well, I need wooing.

Teach is obviously teaching all day so doesn't text at all, but at the same time I keep thinking he must get breaks during the day.

It doesn't take long to send a text does it?

BEar was 42 (2 years younger) and he could text for Russia in the olympics

Actually I've just remembered that mutual friend tells me that he's really bad at keeping in touch, replying to texts etc. So at least I know it's not personal. Like custard I have to decide whether that's good enough for me.

(He's texted me twice in the last half an hour).

What would you think of a guy who said he doesnt like being single and if one relationship ends he is out to get whatever he can until he finds another one?

It is a modern dilemma. You really like a man but you hanker after the communication style of another man!!!

Redleaf... i will put h out of my mind now. Compartmentalise myself.. i have a busy wknd too.

Red if you're out with colleagues you are IN!!! That's a massive endorsement!! Like dating 2nd base or something???

314 if you have a bit of a bonkers relationship history maybe don't say about the 'connected' thing - do you call him? Can you check in during the day with a quick call?? Or does his work situation not allow??

Just got home to a clean and serene house. No kids. Cleaner has been. Am on call tonight please let it be quiet so I don't have to dash out of bed at 3am absolutely nothing going on in my dating-sphere. And you know what that means: in my mind I'm all about the Cufflinks situation. I know it's bad. I planned yesterday to do a Bitch on him and not get in touch. But he Bitched me back and didn't contact me either!!! Hahaha!! Darn it!!!

Party tomorrow which means an encounter with ex-best friend. Had made a vague plan to see Cudfflinks tomorrow also. Partly depends on how my on call goes. We'll see.

Looking forward to an update later from eloquent - have a great date.

Oh and welcome w1968 and yey Folk good news that BirdMan is back in your good books!

Sorry 314 I was a bit blunt re your relationship history. I don't mean to be at all. I mean it very kindly and hope that the H thing grows...

Sassy anything today from mrscot?

Handy hope you're prepared to see exBF. Perhaps some kind of empowering superwoman knickers are in order? (I don't have superwoman, but I do have Wonder Woman from Asda).

SoThatHappened I wouldn't be impressed.

Custard here's to compartmentalising. I'm on the sofa with a hot water bottle, heated up leftover takeaway and catching up on Mary Portas.

Prize more details on MrAd??