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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Step inside the dating thread, 95

999 replies

MissPiggySeeksFrogwithGSOH · 19/01/2016 09:44

We don't have get through these at speed....

The Rules

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin
  3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens
  5. Trust your gut instinct
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
  8. If it's not fun- stop
  9. Loo update is mandatory
10. No dating the thread 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches, and take from it what you will
OP posts:
tanyadm · 20/01/2016 11:56

Ooh, amazing outfit Eloquent.

Aye, so it's been a bit of a week since last Friday, had a flu bug, bedridden all weekend with a 39 degree temperature, thank goodness for self sufficient children, and their dad looked after them on Sunday. Was down at our head office on Monday, flew back same day, got in at 9pm, sat down to have some toast and tea, then my elder littlie threw up in the sink before I could have a bite. Naturally I was also sick yesterday, so absolutely drained. Also got sad news about a family friend on Monday, so men have been off the agenda. It made me reassess what's important, and suddenly trying to get the approval of complete strangers on dating sites as to whether I'm pretty / clever / whatever enough just seemed so pointless and trivial. I've shut down OKC and GSM, have a subscription on Match, so leaving it to run, and a couple of matches on Tinder, but not pursuing anything very actively as feeling a bit too wobbly this week.

On Tinder, quite funny Irish chap, similar circumstances to mine, and a bizarre one this morning that hasn't yet passed my BS detector "I'm so glad we matched, you look sensational." Can't be done with hyperbole, and, well, I'm not sensational. And apparently I "should let other people be the judge of that." Errr, no. I'll let him run his course as he's tall and has a decently written profile, but my radar is on full alert.

Still mild hankering after Bee, but have been quite disciplined, despite my wobbly week. We've exchanged a few texts, but I've been distant enough.

Northerner has been moaning to me about his disastrous dating life, because the woman he went on a date with after we had a falling out at that party in December, only wanted to be friends with him. Hmm

Will catch up properly with your progress tonight! xx

eloquent · 20/01/2016 12:28

I'll be wearing a jacket and a coat.

I'm sorry to hear all that Tanya. Sometimes it's good to take a step back.
Hope you and little one are feeling much better soon xxx

PrizeyPrize · 20/01/2016 12:54

eloquent love the outfit! Good luck with date!
tanya what a week you've had. I totally get this It made me reassess what's important, and suddenly trying to get the approval of complete strangers on dating sites as to whether I'm pretty / clever / whatever enough just seemed so pointless and trivial . I'm doing the same, still chatting to a few worthy contenders, but its not taking up too much space in my head or time in my day, which is a good place for me right now. Hope things pick up for you.
Red & Handy - great news! Handy any chance it could lead to more than FWB?
Hi Gast - you have got your hands full! Grin I so admire the energy you have for all this, and all the fun you are having by the sounds of things. Princess sounds a bit weird 'I'm the new guy'?, I'd block but I'm intolerant of that kind of thing.
waving Soho does sound keen Grin, obviously missing/thinking about you.
jolly Its freezing here!! So jealous! Smile

DeeDee47 · 20/01/2016 13:11

Just checking in on you all
Eloquent you look fab,hope all goes well
Tanya,I'm thinking of you and so understand
I'm.still struggling with last weeks dissapointment,was so excited this time last week ! What a difference a week can make,definitely f*** my head
Think so far old has been brutal for me
So time out is for the best.
Everyone else happy dating Smile

WavingNotDrowning · 20/01/2016 13:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BornToFolk · 20/01/2016 14:18

Hey all. Catching up with the thread and trying to get my head around who's dating who! Grin

eloquent - Great outfit! You look amazing!

red - Yay! You sound proper loved up Grin

handy - Watch yourself there. He sounds great, I'd probably fall for him too but not ideal in a FWB situation. I missed the back story on him, is it just FWB cos he's recently broken up?

TooSassy - I downloaded happn but I can't really get on with it. Tinder is pissing me off at the moment too, it's really slow!

I haven't heard anything from the guy I saw last week (I'm going to call him BirdMan, based on the last conversation we had Grin). We went out on Thurs, ended it by saying we'd do it again, confirmed that by text that night. Then I heard nothing until Monday when I cracked (I know, I know...) and we had a nice little WhatsApp chat. But no mention of a 2nd date and nothing since...Sad He was a bit slow to respond to messages on POF and I think he's fairly laid back (or possibly lazy...) about the dating thing in general. I was kind of hoping that he'd suggest tomorrow as he knows that I am usually free on Thursdays (DS is with his dad). Trying not to fret but it's hard as I have no one else on the go at the moment....tryng not to start messaging ex-prospects! I just need to wait, don't I?

Scarftown · 20/01/2016 14:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyGastIsFlabbered · 20/01/2016 17:55

Oh the shame, was Whatsapp stalking Teach and accidentally dialled him Blush

tanyadm · 20/01/2016 18:00

Ahah gast, did you manage to cancel the call before he could have seen?! I don't use WhatsApp, for which I'm grateful, as that is the sort of thing I would do!

TooSassy · 20/01/2016 18:03

Lol gast just excuse it as a handbag/ pocket dial that happened if he asks

WavingNotDrowning · 20/01/2016 18:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyGastIsFlabbered · 20/01/2016 18:19

Ha Waving that's made me feel much better. Still feeling slightly sick as Teach isn't much of a texter & I'm already paranoid he things I'm stalking him.

RedMapleLeaf · 20/01/2016 18:26

Lovely outfit choice eloquent.

Hope your day got less angsty Waving.

Wishing tanya and dee some peace and calm this week.

Born I wouldn't even wait. Just move on. and secretly be waiting

Sorry to everyone I've missed. Loo updates please!

Lacoba66 · 20/01/2016 18:30

Quick catchup from me...

eloquent loving the outfit!
Grin at gast & waving been there and done that.mrecall the desperately trying to cancel whilst saying f*k, f*k Blush.

gast remind me, is H the Irish guy?.

Ooh, waving Soho, does sound keen to give him is due...

tanya sorry to hear about your week and your sad news, I hope it improves soon.

I'm still having regular (daily) contact with Mr Diamond so we will see how Friday goes.

On a slightly different note, I had a missed call (unknown number) and a subsequent email from my ex T**t today. Not replying, even though he insists I call, or he may have to come round uninvited Hmm. All most as if he knew I'd started seeing someone!

JollyXmasJumper · 20/01/2016 19:04

Thank you for the birthday wishes! There will definitely be some drinking tonight and I will raise a glass to the dating thread - heard that they make custom cocktails here so I shall ask for one to be named Dating Thread.

Eloquent -love your outfit! --And will now think of pairing very similar skirt with a golden belt, thank you!

I am starting to see that I need to be a lot more selective with who I talk to on OKC as I just cannot keep up. So more hand picking, less replying to whatever comes despite biological clock ticking like a bomb.

Good luck to tonight's daters!

MyGastIsFlabbered · 20/01/2016 21:43

Just had another hour long telephone conversation with Teach, am definitely in danger of getting smitten but Grin

RedMapleLeaf · 20/01/2016 21:47

Any sign of him feeling the same?

MyGastIsFlabbered · 20/01/2016 21:53

Too early to tell I think, I mean we only met last Saturday. But I'll see how things go on Saturday. But at least I've made it to a second date!

eloquent · 20/01/2016 22:20

Well.
I'm a bit Meh.
He was 20 mins late.
We talked loads only a couple of awkward pauses.
But he wandered towards his car, no hint of a hug never mind a kiss... And no offer of a lift... Its bloody cold, glad I didn't wear a skirt!

Custard314 · 20/01/2016 22:42

toosassy I continued the argument with my friend in Australia earlier this evening. He told me it was 4.30 am where he was. I said I'm about two per cent sorry.

Custard314 · 20/01/2016 22:43

oh dear eloquent! that outfit was wasted so.

Custard314 · 20/01/2016 22:44

Happy birthday jolly

HandyWoman · 20/01/2016 22:44

Gosh, so much going on!!!! Hugs for tanya and also dee - thinking of you...

Very good news for red and 314 and gast seriously I would block that Tinder bloke. Same goes for born Birdman clearly has a few irons in the fire and you're not on the A list. Next!

Jolly have a great birthday drink!

waving am loving the fact that you are giving your self a bit of loving attention this week, and that soho is staying in touch. I would say something totally made up to Writer - an old flame back in town, met someone and getting serious, whatever...

Sassy did you do impromptu lunch?

eloquent have a great evening!!

So Mr fwb - let's call him Cufflinks.... He'll be a sort of Bear/Popcorn thing. He has been very upfront that he just wants dates and PDA action (and preferably lots of!) he's been separated 3 years and that's what he wants. He did say re relationship: 'never say never' but I would be stupid to expect more. Except it's also a meeting of minds, which is also what he wants. All in all I'm attracted yet wary. Before I left we already agreed we both wanted to meet up again at the weekend. Feel a bit confused about him! And intrigued. And mindful I could be getting into hot water. Think I'd be happy if we had a mutual thing that was also exclusive. But not sure if that's FWB territory?? Trust me to like the guy who's the most enigmatic!!! Give me a male mooseburger any day!!!

HandyWoman · 20/01/2016 22:46

Oh eloquent - bummer.

RedMapleLeaf · 20/01/2016 23:05

I don't know what to say handy there's no way I could handle a FWB situation. Sounds a very promising start!