Yes, I felt like that before H showed up on Thursday waving but luckily within ten minutes it was ok.
parents - Argh. So long as we have a totally fake relationship where we never discuss anything meaningful, I get on ok with my parents most of the time, but this week, after things calming down a bit mid week I ended up having another go at my father when he dropped my son home on Friday.
I started off calmly saying that I regretted I had got so angry with mum earlier in the week, and then this turbo boost of rage came out of me, and I didn't finish how I'd planned to, I felt all fired up suddenly and I reprimanded my dad for giving a martyred version of events (the aborted phone call and me not inviting him in to 'talk about it) to my mother, the two of them ganging up on me, and then me having to enduring my mother pushing my buttons, calling me a "brat", calling me "silly" and telling me I was tantruming. I was furiious and I was openly mad when she said these things to me, but now I look back, wow, what button pressing!
I told my Dad that he was confusing gratitude with obedience and that there were going to be other things I might do in the future that he wouldn't approve of and that I didn't need and wasn't looking for his approval. Then he said with this martyred expression "can I speak?" and I said no. He drove off with a martyred look. He's up on the cross now, and loving it up there. The pair of them will never acknowledge that they created this drama. I just wanted them to back off and stop advising me.
Good job I've just done NMTZ or I'd be even more fired up!!