Step inside the dating thread, 95

[MissPiggySeeksFrogwithGSOH]

We don't have get through these at speed....

The Rules

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun- stop
9. Loo update is mandatory

10. No dating the thread 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches, and take from it what you will

Date day nerves. Help!

Give us an outline of the date Tanya. Where, when etc.

I have just worked out my outfit for tonight, cleaned all of downstairs and changed the bedlinen. About to shower and defuzz. To counter all of this I'm catching up with Woman's Hour.

Hi, may I join this thread? I've had some proper dating disasters in terms past few months and need a bit of a kick up the bum to be more assertive.

Welcome bean, what's happening for you at the moment?

2.30pm, National Portrait Gallery in Edinburgh to see the BP Portrait Award exhibition and this exhibition I've been wanting to see for a while - www.nationalgalleries.org/whatson/on-now-coming-soon/document-scotland/about-the-exhibition-23641.

After that we're going to find a wee bar (not hard in Edinburgh) for some wine.

I'm procrastinating with tidying, tea and the new Sia album, then I'll get done up. :)

Welcome to the fold, Bean. We've all had our share of disasters. Can't believe I'm on my way to becoming an old hand at this!

I really want a date tonight

Hi Maple... I signed up to Tinder two weeks ago on the advice of a colleague as my job is so busy I don't have a social life so can't meet people the usual way. It's just been one long round of the men that I find attractive wanting sex, and just sex. The one guy I thought was okay has nicely slotted into #6 on the thread rules list. It's exhausting filtering people all the time.

The absolute latest is that I got chatting to a guy last night who is smart, good looking and wants to come over this evening (providing he gets some job applications in) for food and dvds. I'm fairly convinced that just means sex. Again. I said yes, thinking it would get #6 guy out of my system but in the cold light of day I'm not so sure. I have no idea how to find a nice, decent, smart, attractive guy who is interested in more than just getting me in bed. /rant

Welcome Bean (what happened?) and w1968

In bed I swiped right on some of those male models in Bumble - they are London ones and might be the same ones waving - if I hear back from them I'll eat my hat!!

MrFlight messages me twice a week about what he's up to but nothing else. I think I need to put an end to the pointless messages. It's more like pen pals, I can't see us finding out enough about each other to end up suggesting a meet IYSWIM. What do you think?

red enjoy your preparations. 314 are you in or out tonight with h? tanya enjoy today with Stripey. I'd love to do a date like that. folk have a great time rocking the new outfit with Birdman!

gast my you've been busy!! Good work!! Very good work!!

Oh bean if someone wants to come round your house when you've never met them - that's a hookup surely? I wouldn't do that. There's safety to consider for one.

Ha ha Redmapleleaf i know what you mean! The two balance out, it is fine. I plan to tidy up now too.

gast you'll have to spend your evening doing flirting-by-text with some of your irons

Know what you mean bean about the constant filtering - it is exhausting - but also necessary. Trust your instincts is my #1 rule.

Handy, we are out out tonight. Looking forward to it! In my town. And on thurs when he declined a 2nd bottle of beer, he referred to having a "few" drinks on saturday which means he is not planning on driving home. :-o :-)

I have no idea how to find a nice, decent, smart, attractive guy who is interested in more than just getting me in bed.

Don't invite a man 'round for sex until you've assessed whether you find him nice, decent, smart and attractive bean!!

tanya that sounds a great date. Just make sure you remember to pay a bit of attention to the art work.

Tanyadm, classy date!!

Stand like superman to get rid of nerves. Then after two minutes of that, raise your hands in the air like rocky in the victory pose. ( do this in toilet cubical, not beside the caravaggio lol)

Thanks Tanya :)

handy Yes, you are absolutely right. I did say that my rule is to meet in a public place first and five minutes later he called, we had a really long conversation and I think he intended that to mean the equivalent of going for coffee. I started a separate thread in relationships about my horrible week.

I feel like I can't talk frankly to people in real life as this mess and not standing up for myself is so far removed from who I am elsewhere. Honestly - I have a reputation for being really kickass and yet I'm so desperate for affection that I'm worried I'm going to end up in a shit situation (again). It took me two years to leave my borderline abusive ex because I didn't want to be alone.

I guess I've joined this thread to give myself the courage to say no to stuff that's not in my best interests.

314

WOOP!

I think he intended that to mean the equivalent of going for coffee

Woah, bean. It doesn't matter what he might have intended. What are your expectations?

My expectations are to go on at least two dates first, beyond that I am not really bothered about whether it's a casual or serious relationship but I want company to go and do things at the weekend or after work, so not just sex. Yeah, you are absolutely right. Fortunately he has no idea where I live beyond the area of the city so if he does get in touch I'll just fob him off.

So have you agreed to see him tonight or not?

I agreed to see him but he has loads of work to do, so he said he'd be in touch either way. The more I type the worse it sounds!

I am actually more interested in the Jeremy Sutton Hibbert exhibition than Stripey, am doing my first common ride in May, and Jeremy was a photographer at an event I ran on Monday and is amazing. And horses. Then Stripes might get some attention! ;)

pie, hilarious! Might give that a go...