Step inside the dating thread, 95

[MissPiggySeeksFrogwithGSOH]

We don't have get through these at speed....

The Rules

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun- stop
9. Loo update is mandatory

10. No dating the thread 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches, and take from it what you will

velour thanks for the track

Hello to Mom and Batshit

I feel I have definitely mined all the decent ones on POF and OKC for now, so am taking a break from there. Match - what the hell??? Nobody messages there. And I mean NOBODY - EVER. Millions have favourited me (OK maybe not millions) not one single message!!!!

Watching telly - telly is crap! Need Netflix in my life.

Am ignoring MrMovies after his rather underwhelming 'I'm horny' disclosure. I told him 'that's not seduction that's just information' - uncompromising, me...

Hi Handy velour Waving Jolly and Mom2K (have I missed anyone?).Typed a long reply and lost it dammit

Mom that's a handy thing to be able to do, to set parameters. Might give it a go.

Velour - haven't got loads of money to spend on clothes, so Oasis, H&M, high street shops, really. My very long marriage was emotionally abusive, and he did a bit of a number on my self-esteem. Had a way of looking at me and smirking/sneering, as if to say 'wtf are you wearing' which has taken a while to get over. But I'm coming to the conclusion that I look okay, really, and have started to dress a bit differently.

Waving I read your other thread - so sorry you're having to deal with that crap. I said rather dramatically to my therapist that I felt like I'd never be free of him (STBX) until one of us dies. Still feel like that, really. Tied to an arse, for ever ...

Jolly looking at those profiles of 50 year old men, I couldn't think why a 35 year old would be interested ... they could do a lot better! And I don't want any 60/65 year olds either!

handy thanks for saying I handled things well (with the Kids). I trust your judgement.

I like what you said to mrmovies! Geez.

waving so has soho said anything about the re-evaluation of his life yet?! You're still in it, I take it!

I've just done 30ds level 2. Must do something different tomorrow. Maybe the core & abs circuits from BFBM and NMTZ, if I'm up earlier enough tomorrow. I have to be somewhere by 1pm so you'd think that would leave enough time, but who knows :-p

Does anybody else feel they are sending out slightly different signals in real life since they started OLD? eg, A man came in to my office a while ago and although I am always friendly, I was perhaps a little less guarded or something. Then I met him again in the book shop and he grabbed my hand and started shaking it and held on to it while he was chatting. I didn't pull my hand away. I just wished him happy new year. (this was about a fortnight ago). Pretty sure that this time last year I would have just 'nodded' at him in the book shop and then browsed on........ I must have given out some signal that said, yeh, come over and chat.

Wish I was dating tonight. I'm drinking tea, doing the ironing while watching The Good Wife, recorded from last night. I know how to live ...!

batshit one of the most depressing dates I went on, just after Bear had told me that he didn't want a relationship, blah blah blah!!! was with a man of ''45'' except, when he turned up, he really casually said, 45? oh, yeh, I'm 50. And I figured out, the lie isn't for me, I'm so old, he doesn't care if I think he's 50. The lie of 45 is to try and pull 35 year olds. In this guy's case, I felt a tiny bit of sympathy for him as his xw and he hadn't had dc and she'd had IVF. There he was at fifty still hoping to meet a 35 year old. Although he didn't say this, I doubt he was having much luck because I am almost a decade older than that. He wasn't bad company at all and we laughed. He liked pub quizzes and originally he'd messaged me to comment on that. We chatted very easily actually but because he wasn't a skilled player I guess he was unable to hide that he real goal on line was to find a woman young enough to have a child. He inadvertently let it slip really, that although he'd happily go on dates with women my age in the mean time, he'd still have a pretty focussed eye out for that elusive 35 year old. But women are good at reading between the lines and when I summed up what I felt he was really after and served it back to him with a smile, he looked shocked but he didn't deny it. We had another drink and he was easy company. We parted company with him saying ''so will you come to that pub quiz in aid of ls;jadlfkjad;lkfjasd;lkj ? I said, well, I might see you there. I gave him a kiss on both cheeks and he said cheerfully ''is that it then?? I thought we getting on ??"

I honestly felt for him, a tiny it, because he'd no kids.. but later, it annoyed me, the injustice of it for women. or maybe it was a PMT bad timing thing.

hello, hoping to join in, batshit, I am in with tea too x
So, I am back OLD - AGAIN! Better luck this time on match, very surprising response. This is the situation I would like your help with everyone, I have been messaging 'Mr Sketch' for 3 weeks, he initiated contact, and continues too do so if I am online and not messaging him. He lives pretty close by, messages suggest he has not got an awful lot on socially, I have tried (1) subtle flattery (2) dropping hints of when I am free. No suggestion of date.
Ideas anyone of next steps? (other dates happened/ lined up but I like Mr Sketch)

Humble yes, I suppose if a 50 year old bloke wants children, then he will be looking for a younger woman. But unless he is gorgeous and loaded then I think a lot of women won't entertain it.

I forgot, I bought a flapjack on the way home from the station this evening, so I have another cup of tea to go along with it ... living on the edge, me. I need to get out more!

dlnex I'm a novice at this, but could you suggest a coffee tomorrow (if you're free, obviously)?

batshit: thanks for your reply, I wish I was a novice, I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall sometimes with single life. I kind of want him to do the asking, that's a bit old fashioned I guess, but I want to feel like I was a bit of a challenge! Plus he has already mentioned, and it is a little strange that he doesnt do coffee. At what point am I to conclude, he is just not that into me, he doesnt want to date me, just wants to send messages?

He doesnt do coffee?!
Does he mean he'd only bother meeting up in the evening?

I messaged one gut for ages but he wouldnt meet up!!! I guess i was fun to chat to but not Something enough for him.

Humble, he is off caffine, this would be hard for me, I am a teapot :-) It's not amazingly banterish chat, very much an exchange of what we have been doing (not much!) with the odd prompt from both of us to assertain more about each other. I really dont want him to talk to me forever if that is all its going to amount to...its a dating site?!

Ooh nice loo update!! Excellent!

I've had quite a pleasant evening, drank a few vodkas and set up a few more irons!

Had a filthy conversation with Para (old iron but I don't think we'll ever actually meet !)**
**
Almost arranged a booty call with 30 but I think we're meeting next Friday. He called me and sounds really sweet.

Also been chatting with ED who is very fit! I could quite happily do rude things to him!

Geek has gone quiet, I messaged him earlier, he read it at 9:30 but hasn't replied.

I messaged Sparks about next Saturday, haven't heard back yet but he doesn't have too long to get in contact!

It sounds terrible, I was exchanging messages with someone earlier and can't remember a thing about them, think they might be dropped off the list of irons.

I've also forgotten about MuseLover who I've been chatting about music with.

And Sparks is on for next Saturday!

Wish me luck...and energy!

And I've spent the last hour chatting to someone I matched with on OKC, he's another teacher though, think he'll have to be T2

Good loo update scarf. What is the final verdict this morning?

OMG! I've just spent ages (about an hour this morning) going through various websites trying to find some suitable guys & not found one! Ok, I accept I'm in an age bracket where some might not be in the best of shape, but seriously what do these guys expect?? (I'm 47 btw).
It seems that some of you are younger than me, but where are the decent older guys?! Help!

I'm also confused. I've been seeing someone - who was very keen - but now just wants to be friends. I accept they've genuinely got lots of stress in their life that might lead them to not be able to manage a relationship as well. But where does that leave me - do I wait or not?!

Particularly when the rest of the pool seems rubbish!

Ahah, Gast, we are definitely not the same person, your type is educators.......actually Stripey is a trainer.....so sort of a teacher! We are the same person!

Gast you're on fire!! Good for you.

dl has he heard of decaffeinated ...? I don't know that I could be bothered with chatting and it not moving forward. You don't want a penpal. I'd move on, I think.

waving
That's a long gap of notvseeing each other . Not surprised you are nervous!
It was a 9 day gap for me and i was about to go back 'out there'.