Step inside the dating thread, 95

[MissPiggySeeksFrogwithGSOH]

We don't have get through these at speed....

The Rules

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun- stop
9. Loo update is mandatory

10. No dating the thread 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches, and take from it what you will

Yeah I just feel sad that I won't see the person I thought Teach was again. I'm still questioning everything, because it was such a sudden change from great to no thanks. And my willpower has totally dissolved and I've downloaded Tinder again. . I'm up for a bit of online flirting but no actual dating.

I've also asked my brother to give me a call tonight to give me a stern talking to.

Just focussing on the fact that I feel better today than I did yesterday, so I'll feel even better tomorrow. And the fact that Tinder can distract me so easily proves it's not really about Teach at all.

& For you two Gast and Dee, definitely get how you feel. But like others have said, anger is probably what you should tend to. It is fine to be sad for the possibility of a relationship gone, but these two do not deserve to be missed. These two have probably been doing that for a while to become so good at concealing their despicable behavior. So much that even with the best bitch googles on you would not have seen them coming. Nor could you have done anything to change the outcome.

You have been deceived by two bloody clowns. They wasted your time, purposely deceived you to get what they wanted. They used you. Played you. Tricked you. Happily and willingly treaded on your feelings. They are the only people responsible for the situation. And they get away, onto their next victim.
Now picture their faces and practice some air-boxing moves!

Thank you jolly
Great advise,I did love his face,and his body and his charm though,😋

I'm going to be fine, he didn't deserve me and maybe next time I'll find someone worthy of me (who can also finish at sex too!).

That's exactly it, gast

Just had a reminder about Tinder, not been on for a month. Just seen my friend's husband on there. Ladies. People go on there for platonic reasons right hopeful ??

Speaking with my counsellor today, we agreed that majority of 'dating' sites will be full of unsuitables, (like your friends DH,handy!) with the suitables more difficult to filter out. Has anyone tried Meet Up, joining groups of like minded people for shared hobbies/interests, there are singles nights/groups to follow/join too. Think I might do this. Thought I'd share the idea.

Afternoon all!

gast and Dee am with everyone else on here.
+1 on everything Jolly said.

scarf you seem a little like me. My irons are warming up nicely. impromptu set for a little lunchtime drink meet. scot and I are going for dinner. mrfrench is bantering over whatsapp.
I'm wondering if our meh is down to self protection or whether it's that none of these men are blowing us away. I personally think it's the first for me.

I'll make you laugh as well ladies. After the tree debacle I've made it clear that I want to vet their Facebook (from their phones) pre us getting serious.

french handed me his phone, his wallet and offered me his house keys too. scot did something pretty similar.

I did it tongue in cheek but I am absolutely making it a prerequisite before I get too involved. Any guy with nothing to hide and semi serious intentions will have a problem with it.

Right back to the thread

handy oh dear. No. These are dating apps and IMO tinder is the worst one for having the 'hook up' reputation.

waving so are you warming up other irons or just pining for soho?

born I haven't messaged anyone so far when I've had plenty of nights free. To be honest I'm enjoying my child free nights either with friends or in my home (with peace and quiet) and a lovely lie in. But if I wanted to see one of them and was free I would totally ask them. But be prepared that a lot of people already have plans Friday night.

at red and 314

Happy to hear that Gast!

Handy nope, unfortunately I would go for the worst scenario.. The golden rule seems to stay out of it, but I admit I would be tempted to swipe right on his cheating ass.

Phone call is a good sign to me Waving, it would indicate to me he feels a bit more grounded now and is thinking of you.

I have been re-reading the WLMB on setting terms & conditions and I feel I am getting a grasp of what has been missing in my past relationships. So I am having a shot at doing it now. First guinea pig, MrTheatre, has been called on his smugness. Slap-on-the-wrist style. Result is that he backed off to the far-off apologetic corner and immediately adopted a different, more seductive tone with me. Conclusion: Bitch 1 Smart-ass 0.
Second guinea pig, MrIKEA, was asked out by me last time though I ultimately canceled. Now he did just send a text to organize the second date. BUT he suggested a whisky-tasting at my place. Knowing full-well I do not like the stuff. Bourbon girl here if that was not already clear enough. Also first date was before Xmas and he has not really made a proper effort to see me in-between. Obviously very aware this is code for a shag.
I am a bit gobsmacked at his cheekiness. Any ideas how to phrase a reply and set him back on the right path?

Also, how do you communicate those t&cs? Do you actually do it? Or just behaving in a certain way does the trick for you? Curious to hear what you all think!

I have two dates planned with h so I'm equilibrium personified today. Thinking this is a part of my personality. The need to plan. We've only exchanged one text exchange earlier today but have been relaxed. I think I will bring up that sentence, that Sassy helped me to phrase though.

Like waving I'll do some exercise now! well, at 7pm.

A girl in my office met a man off tinder, they went for coffee at 12.30, and he said, right, shall we get a hotel then? That story puts me off Tinder.

Jolly, Will he be driving? Can you say, well, you won't be able to drink much whisky as you're driving. Or, I think I'm getting my period!

handy go for the senior exec type. Why not? If I'd known H's job before I met him, I'd never have had the nerve to meet up. It's a bit intimidating though. Is it a good friend, the friend's husband?

gast if Teach was all that, he'd be able to 'get sex' (sorry to be so blunt) without deceiving and hurting women. What a tosser. He has stolen your mojo so he could get laid. I want to practise boxing moves on him.

At Sassy strip-searching her dates, TSA-style haha.

Unfortunately I think it is a great idea.

Hi everybody else!

Jolly if this is by text I'd say something like "I don't invite men back to my house on only the second date". In terms of expectations I think you just act them and, if pushed, state them explicitly. MrF didn't even know what street I lived on for the first few dates. I didn't know him well enough for him to know my exact address.

I've been to the gym after work, now I'm chilling in the bath and heading out with friends. I must admit that I'm resisting the urge to tell MrF I could pop around on my way home out of my way by about 10 miles

I'm getting obsessed with moose burgers. ON the front page of mumsnet there is a recipe for three minute microwave biscuits and I glance at them and thought "recipe for mooseburgers"

Hahahaha re obsession with mooseburgers. Have we added this rule yet?

Jolly I love the way you brought MrTheatre down to size..... Re IKEA I would use this one: 'I think you have me confused with someone who has been on many more dates with you than I have, but I'd be up for meeting at X location of your choosing ' (stolen from the lovely Matthew Hussey).

Sassy am loving your Facebook rule - makes sense!

314 It's not a close friend, we were very good friends when then kids were pre-schoolers. Don't see her much now but stil have much affection for her. She is lovely and puts up with a lot of flaky crap from her h I'll find it very hard not to keep my mouth shut.

I am going to do whatever I can do not unwittingly become the OW again. Even now I feel mortified at my naivety. No more.

Lol 314 at moose burgers! Next thread it has to be added.

jolly my response would be 'ha, you wish! You have to work much much harder to get invited to a date at my house. Nice try but no.'
Depending on my mood (and on how much I liked them), I would follow up with 'you may however buy me dinner somewhere nice'.
That'll soon sort the wheat from the chaff.
I also make it very clear up front (if we've hit it off) that I don't fall into bed at all easily and I have zero intent on doing it anytime soon. It's not stopped me getting date two (although it probably fires up moose hunting mode deep down)

Lol wavings got it baaaaadddd!

handy don't get intimidated by anyone's job. Who cares what they do? I certainly couldn't give a monkeys.

red have a fab night and let him pine for you !!!

good response! (Blimey, my house for a second date? Is that auto correct! Did you mean to say "I'll take you out for Dinner?") or a version of that. very good.

TooSassy you pieced it together as soon as you could! I mean, I sit here feeling 100% certain that H is not married, and yet I've never been to his house. Although, he's told me his name, his dc's names, where he works, where he lives... I feel it's very unlikely, but, I can't be 100% certain I suppose. Short of INSISTING on going to somebody's house really early on, how could one know for absolute certain. I thinking out loud here, ignore me, it's just food for thought, and you were more astute than others would have been I bet. You figured it out at 6 dates. Others might have taken 12.

Waving you miss him! wow. That's like, the R word. Relationship. I don't miss H sitting here. I'm looking forward to Thursday but I'm not missing him at all right now. I've done my work out, The good wife series six is on netflix now.. whoah. I'm a busy woman. Haven't kondoed for ages. I need to get some kenergy for kondoing.

Handy, I think H even likes that I'm a different type. For now he does anyway. Maybe eventually he'll drift back to an alpha type. But two alphas!? he said he went on a date with a woman (he didn't describe her as an alpha, that's my interpretation) but they ended up arguing about politics and banking). Two alphas together, it might be all heated discussions. I don't know. I don't want somebody's opinions rolling over my tent in their tank. So I could be wrong about my OWN feelings, and just temporarily dazzled.

Red have a great night out!

Sassy Facebook detective is a good idea. How to phrase that..... ARe you going for 'gimme your phone, what's your pin?'' or something a bit more subtle.

Waving I'm a little impressed that Mr soho is calling you from abroad! If you can take it as a 'I'm still thinking about you' but still get on with your life, then that's a great thing ( just make sure he knows you are and maybe don't always answer his future calls (you have a life, outside of him!)

Jolly I'd be inclined to tell him that He needs to find a pub that caters for both your tastes, as your home doesn't!

Having said all of that I'm on for date number 3 with Mr Diamond and from what you're all saying I'm doing it wrong . Am I giving too much moose?

We've arranged a hotel meet, as he has tickets for a fab band, but my son is back from uni this weekend & I'm not at that point of introducing (bloody way to early & he has agreed) so he can't come back here. Should I have cancelled?

apologies for generalising above. Not all senior execs are going to be alphas. And i'm not even 100% certain what I mean by alpha. I think I do vaguely think of H as being alpha and I do have a vague notion that I'm very much beta. I have a good few female friends who would be less beta than I am and I really love them and their self-confidence and what they've achieved and I try to be more like them!

Awwww thanks for your kind words 314
It is the fact that is wife had just had the baby that's hard to stomach. I remember how I felt two weeks after my DC's were born. An emotional haze. Tiredness. Love. And he was trying to get into my pants. . Anyway onwards.

Im not sleeping with anyone until I've been back to theirs (seemingly impromptu for them) and they've opened up their Facebook and passed It to me. Most people actually don't have their privacy locked down ridiculously so even looking them up reveals a fair amount. The locked down ones are the ones I'd suspect the most.
scot and french have tons of open photos with posts.

A guy now constantly insisting on coming to mine would probably get cut off fairly quickly. What are they hiding is all i would now think.

I think it also helps that I'm London based. If a guy thinks I'm odd because those are the terms I insist on, then fine. There's no shortage of men to date in the big smoke!