Step inside the dating thread, 95

[MissPiggySeeksFrogwithGSOH]

We don't have get through these at speed....

The Rules

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun- stop
9. Loo update is mandatory

10. No dating the thread 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches, and take from it what you will

dating and wariness has made me long for a 60/40 split or something. I find it comforting. That's just me.

I do think that a lot of my attitude is down to inexperience and naivety around all of this. I may have a very different approach in a year's time

What's the main lesson scarf?

Gast, it's hard, but you will start to feel better. He is a prick. You did nothing wrong at all. Take time to look after you.

Obviously my views are a little skewed at the moment on how many dates, I've always gone with 3-5 until friday and will most likely lengthen that now.

As for paying, i like be able to offer but be refused haha on a first date to split, and then go on to alternate.

I too agree on the 50/50 split when it comes to paying for things AND affection/attention. The latter being a work in progress.

Though Popcorn did pull out an impressive "true gent" move on date 1 when he discreetly went to pay for everything at the bar, instead of waiting for the check to arrive. Then we took turns, whatever the check came to. Weekend away was 50/50, he did the maths perks of dating a finance dude AND GOT ME CASH AT THE TRAIN STATION. Yuk. Here is how we went from 19th century romance straight to hooker street. Lol

gast yeah, that feeling of not expecting to hear from anyone can be really hard, especially when you are used to frequent messaging. I hope you are being kind to yourself.

I just messaged a guy on OKC who describes himself as a feminist in the first line of his profile - yay! - but then the age range of women he is looking for is 25-35...and he's 37 - boo! His profile also said that he'd reply to all messages though so I thought I'd try him out, despite being ancient...we'll see...Shame actually as it was a v good profile and we have lots in common.

Oooh, and Birdman just liked an article I shared on FB. I am sooo easily pleased tonight

scarf am intrigued also. What are you picking up on?

This is why I genuinely this thread. I am so bloody trusting and naive. I would have been eaten alive if I'd gone into OLD without being here. We're all learning from one another and adapting bits and pieces to suit what works for us.

The loveliest bit is just how honest we can be on here about obsessing over messages. Or about how we look physically. Or about getting ready for dates. Makes me realise certainly that I'm perfectly normal and not alone!

We should write a book!

Errr, Born, he isn't much of a feminist then....seeing as he clearly doesn't see women as equals! Just using it as a pick up line, ech.

Borntofolk, yeh that's a feminist all right! A man who thinks ageing only applies to women

Toosassy, I am so honest, I'm worried about my fanny than any other part of my body. I want one of those DVs. How do you get one?

I know, right? Anyway, he did reply to my message..only something jokey which I also replied to and I fully expect that'll be that. Maybe I should point out to him that a true feminist wouldn't be scared off by someone a whole year older than him...

314 what's a DV?

Yes, it's nice not to have to learn everything the hard way! you can collate others' experiences too, maybe see a few patterns. Or just get help phrasing things. How did you phrase that sentence about them not texting between dates Sassy? "I love our dates, but inbetween...." I'll have to scroll back and see how you phrased it. It was perfect.

Found it

And say listen, I love our dates, but it goes quiet in-between and that throws me. Is there a reason we don't stay in touch between dates?

I'm also off to rescue the moose burger and avocado quotes from the old threads.
They were both classics

And courtesy of jolly the epic moose burger analogy

you have to appeal to his inner hunter. Let him put on his hunter outfit, drive for miles on a gravel road, hike a mountain, track down the moose through the woods, fight off the bear, loose the moose, freeze at night in a tent, finally find the moose and shoot the bastard.

Remember it never ends well for the girl who delivers ready-made moose burgers on his doorstep.

Found it!!! polecat was the inspiration. With jolly once again turning it into a thread classic!

PDA - short for Playing Disobedient Avocado - should be used here for "dirty sex" haha

a designer vagina!

What did you say Sassy. ''i love our dates but in between, I feel...." I can't find it now.

Lol waving you said the exact same after jolly posted that on the last thread.

I love our dates, but it goes quiet in-between and that throws me. Is there a reason we don't stay in touch between dates?

Ah yes! thanks! You repeated it for me

waving YOU'Re a lawyer right? I'd tell him conversationally you are going to a work do. And then later tell him it was much more fun than you were expecting, a great crowd. He'll picture you out socialising and having fun with lots of successful intelligent men

Or is this really transparent...

I love the moose burger analogy! I have delivered far too many in my time...