Step inside, it's the Dating Thread 94

[tanyadm]

We don't have get through these at speed....

The Rules

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun- stop
9. Loo update is mandatory

10. No dating the thread 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches.

I'm sick of being passive too. I know it was different with Bear as it was never going to be a romantic and sexual relationship but early on I said to him, look, I'm not sitting around waiting for you to contact me, if I want to run something past you I bloody well will, and he said he'd expect nothing less. WHY can't I find that level of easy communication within a romantic/sexual relationship!?!?

It's the ideal really, isn't it?

Love your name changes. How many pie variables can you come up with....

Thanks all for the support I am more pissed off than upset. As I said, if it had been a quick chat and hook up then fair enough for the subject to come up but over 6 weeks and plenty of opportunities (I explained about restricted free time due to childcare and said I hoped that didn't scare him off and still he said nothing about his own family!!)

Have been skimming tinder and OKC but it keeps showing me people in turkey and Israel (I'm in Cyprus) even though they are way out of my distance settings so it's annoying me now

Tanyadm, pumpkin pie was taken!! I was put out!

I'm thinking of custard next.

You're in Cyprus Choccy78? wow. Israel, lol, that'd be no bother if you were in love right Not surprised you're rolling your eyes!

They make me laugh, we have a local app called badoo and I have lost count of the guys who are posing in their photos in hunting gear with shotguns!! Some even look like they are in caves which is quite scary

One thing though, I have just found mr RL (kick boxer) on there and sent him a message saying next time he is in the pub to say hello

Yeah 314 I have been here 5 years and love it. Luckily I have my parents here for childcare and DS goes to his dad's every other weekend so I have some time to myself

Sounds good! The last three dates where I've gone in to town, with my hair straightened and my make up expertly applied, it's been either the tail end of storm desmond, eva, frank or Gertrude, so I'm jealous of the better weather.

Just had a lovely texts session with teacher we are meeting on Saturday walk and coffee and general mooching around the "touristy" things to do around here then ... Dvd and take away sat night that's boy code for gonna try and get you naked isnt it. He doesn't know but im probably going to be a sure thing

Have you met him before chatty?

Yes we've had 4 dates and message and talk most days he's lovely

Ooh, exciting

What action would you ladies take, if any, to move from the "we must meet up soon" messages following a first date, to actually having second date planned in?

Honestly? Nothing. I'd leave the ball in his court.

But....that would require patience. And a lack of neuroticism!

But the pay off is worth it when they ask!

Part of it is also that I have limited childcare time, so if he's not available....

Realise that's the one thing I've never outlined about my reciprocal arrangement with my ex-H. He has health problems which prevent him having the girls overnight, EVER. So I have them almost 365, though he sometimes takes them down to their English grandparents, but only a max of 3-6 days a year. And the next time that happens, he's only taking the eldest during half term, as the younger is going for it with terrible twos and would be a nightmare on the train! I have no family locally either. None of this is ideal for dating!

catty thats definitely a Netflix & chill , 4 dates....hmm thats pretty much a given then

thanks sassy and 314, glad I'm not the only one who doesn't like the sexting thing, prior to meeting or even DTD. Now I don't feel too much of a prude. eloquent ewww - to the jerkie man on Skype! So tell me, what is the difference between sexting and cyber-sex? Is it the same thing (sorry for the ignorance )

tanya I'd wait a while too, I'd want him to organise something tbh, but thats just me. How have communications been between you and Bee today? What is he playing at FFS?

Well I replied to Curly at lunchtime today as planned, accepting his apology for not being intouch for over a day. I was suitably light and breezy "oh no worries, its busy this time of year" and gave him my 'second cell' number, as clearly setting up a fucking email address was far too fucking taxing for him . He promptly responded with his number which I didn't reply to, and couple of hours later he whatsapped me on the Bat Bitch-phone. I took an hour then and I responded rather nonchalantly. I'm liking the new bitch me! Lap it up suckers!

Stripper has just messaged me, I'll do my best to find out if he does the full monty this time!

He says his workmates dragged him to the pub next door and he didn't get home until 2, which is feasible enough.

I told him in a jokey way that I hadn't told my X-H in advance of our date, but did yesterday in case of the chatty taxi driver spilling all, and told him the funny bit of the response from X-H, he replied "Thanks tanyadm...and good to know that he seems an understanding fella. Speak soon. xx" then we had some funny chat about an man I was going to have a meeting with who, the last time I met him, seemed really not to think highly of women (but who was actually lovely today).

So, it's back to nice, relaxed chat, but would like to have either a definite second date, or the let's just be friends thing sorted.

You know what, you're right, I suggested the first date (though he claims I just beat him to it and he was going to ask me that evening). I'm not pushing for a second.

I will probably change my mind about a hundred times on my way to pick up my kids, and cave about 8ish, once they are in bed. Thing is, I can only do Friday and Sunday, and that's it. Next week is a mare for various reasons.