Step inside, it's the Dating Thread 94

[tanyadm]

We don't have get through these at speed....

The Rules

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun- stop
9. Loo update is mandatory

10. No dating the thread 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches.

314 Quoting from x-H's text - I had texted him and admitted I was on a date while he was at my house watching the girls. Didn't want to rock the boat if Bee wasn't a prospect, so hadn't told him in advance. "That's ok. Glad it was good and he wasn't a serial killer! As long as you are happy and the girls are OK is all I want."

We have a very amicable ex-marriage...

My friend (as he was and is a real life friend before the nonsense) Northerner is a Scottish Northerner. SO properly Northern. Bee is County Durham northern, just love the accent.

I had told Northerner last Wednesday that I was seeing Bee last night, but we didn't speak in the interim, so it was obviously in his head. What is it with men, as soon as somebody else wants you....

I haven't told my xh about me dating or that I'm even interested in dating we get on really well still but I'm worried about rocking the boat bit worried about it really but I know I'll have to do it as we live in a small town where everyone knows everyone's business. Hopefully he'll be as easy going as your X tanya

Well, I had to, because there was a funny, funny episode in the taxi. Basically, Bee and I got a taxi which dropped me off, and he kissed me as he got out. Taxi driver was VERY chatty and asked if it was a date, and I told him it was. I also asked if after he'd dropped me off, he could take someone back down the road. "The babysitter?" "No, my ex-husband". Chatty taxi driver's face was a picture, and we had a chat about dating after marriage.

It wasn't until after I got in, I panicked about taxi driver making a jokey comment to ex-H!

If things do work out with Bee, I could totally see him and ex-H being friends. They are not dissimilar in some ways, although Bee is more open and romantic-minded.

God, that's a weird thing to write down in black and white!

Dropped him off first, that should have said about the taxi.

"all these men you're dating"

Oh that sounds like the sort of thing my x would have said if we were still communicating. He used to give everything I did the most negative interpretation possible. Life with him was like being in the dock every day of your life, some criminal barrister cross-examining you and twisting everything!

I can imagine that despite "all these men you're dating" waving they haven't encountered any strange faces over their weetabix! And in 8 years, my kids have never got up, come downstairs and seen a man at the kitchen table. It hasn't been easy. When I went out with teacher man (a rl bf) we were seen in a hotel in my home town and some gossipy old biddy told her niece she'd seen me, who told a whole load of her conservative smug married friends and I think the rumour was I was seeing a married man (although I can't be sure). But, I put myself in the firing line for gossip to protect the dc. Then with the penniless artist! hotel! ha! he hardly took me out for curly fries! We used to stay up so late, stay downstairs. I was always wrecked. He usen't to leave until about 2.30 am, and I'd be existing on 3 and a half hours sleep the next day! I'd never let him stay over.

Anyway, would love to have the confidence in a relationship to say to the DC "Mr Right" is going to stay the night because he's had a glass of wine. In my room. Yes.

You're lucky tanyadm I can't imagine it!

We ended it long before we got to the point of disliking each other, 314. It was totally mutual, and we're still friends. We co-parent, without any issues. Conscious uncoupling, if you like......

Yes, I get it. I thought GP & CM got a hard time for that remark. It is the ideal obviously.

It is a horrendously pretentious phrase though! And it is also weird having text chats with the person you pro-created with about your respective dating lives!

Morning all....you really are very lucky to have amicable exes. Unfortunately I'm with 314 my ex is a 'special' piece of work and if he got a sniff of the fact that I was enjoying life he'd try and make me pay somehow. As I've just explained to my counsellor (first one today - felt good to off load). Then I found a gorgeous vintage Aquascutum woollen blazer in a charity shop for £5! if only I had a date to wear it to. I also got myself a 'second cell phone' (Walter White eat your heart out). This is purely for WhatsApping potentials. Only £25, including a £10 top up. Bargain!
Chatting last night to lovely guy on OKC, I hope he comes back, he's definitely got potential.
Who's on dates this week? Any today? gast, twiggy and tanya when you seeing the new beaus next?

Dunno! Bee said "Have to meet up soon!" in a text this morning but we haven't made plans. I am a bit stuck this week apart from Thursday, Friday or Sunday for childcare. And I don't want to leave it toooooo long! And I can't exactly invite him round mine this early. because I would have zero self control

Yes if they'd said that they weren't a couple but that they were still family, it would have gone down better, I think.

LOl, at the second cell! I think it's a good idea. Protect your anonymity and your business/reputation etc... you don't want to be worried about who knows what about where you work/live.

Though I did play partial McBitch by replying "I'd like that" but not "When are you free?"!

Bit of self preservation kicking in!

I need to breath in and breath out. I feel a bit panicky and I'm so not the panicky type. Normally i deal with everything. I have a job interview this week as well. I should be looking at potential horrible interview questions not writing off H already because he's on POF (looked this morning). I feel a bit hasty about cutting off B. Missing the back and forth communication actually. I guess I need another iron in the fire. I don't want to get too upset when H moves on to somebody taller/younger. I know I'm only getting to know H, but he was talking about my birthday. I'm normally confident. Really feel like a deeper layer of myself is up on the psychiatrist's couch today, having its self-esteem given the once over.

Breath, woman, breath! And welcome to the club, I'm doing the same panicking. Just the come down because I'm absolutely knackered though. And the "I've made myself vulnerable by letting myself tell this person so much about me, and can see how I could properly fall for him."

My sister is calling for the goss tonight, so at least I get to relive the positives!

314 download a relax app on your phone, there are lots. Andrew Johnson does good ones, most are free. Put earphones in and try to relax for 20 mins, you'll feel better. Or have a long soak in the bath with 'spa music' you should find some on YouTube.

Would you believe that there is insufficient storage space on my phone, I can't download another app!! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry though, that it had run out of storage space just as I attempt to down load a relaxation app! I'll listen to some plinky plonk whale music on you tube.

Ha ha, oh dear. Don't worry type in guided meditation, relaxation on youtube and you'll find loads of stuff like

Waving, I think that is a good thinking strategy. 5lbs is loads to lose in a week waving, are you eating sensibly? . I always lose loads in the beginning stages of falling in love....just saying

There is no way they are constantly obsessively compulsively frantically checking their phones .......erm and neither are we haha

Don't want to burst the (my) bubble, but Bee has been on OKC a few times today, and it hasn't been anything to do with me. Don't want to be one of several irons!