Step inside, it's the Dating Thread 94

[tanyadm]

We don't have get through these at speed....

The Rules

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun- stop
9. Loo update is mandatory

10. No dating the thread 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches.

Was going for an early night (crappy cold and soooo tired) but just seen on jolly old fb that my so-called bestie spent last night with my EA ex. She is on a self destruct mission and for some reason is prepared to throw away 25yrs of friendship.

So now I'm wide awake. And considering which was not the plan. And hoping tanya can put a smile back on my face.

As you were.....

handy with friends like that..... Still painful though, I've been through similar and it just reawakens old wounds and tops them up with a few fresh scratches.

Come on tanya - I need my sleep!

We need prizey and her suggestions board - she was bang on with what I was doing on my date on Friday .

reawakens old wounds and tops them up with fresh new scratches

Nail on head.

On another note, while all this is going through my head I find myself talking to a lovely looking chap on POF. Might call him MrScenary. He sounds very interesting......

Sorry, lost track of time with beautiful Bee, who more than lives up to everything. We started off on opposing sides of table and ended it not, as you do. He is gorgeous, sensitive, interesting, THE most amazing kisser and I am floating right now. It was not like any first date you could possibly imagine.

Just had to briefly go away from this message to text from Bee, who mentions reciprocated feelings and wanting to see me soon. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Amazing! How wonderful!!! Oh tanya

You must be on cloud nine!!!!!!

SO completely delighted for you!!!!!!!!

THANKS for the update!!!!!

Thank you! I had so many doubts, like how could someone that lovely be genuine, but he really doesn't see his own worth. It was sparktastic, and if I didn't have children to get home to...

sparktastic

now there's a word......

How on earth will you sleep! Eek!!!!

We just talked and talked and laughed, then when enough alcohol had been consumed, sat together, held hands, talked some more, especially about previous relationships, and ended up kissing. Turns out he doesn't live very far away from me at all, and regularly cycles up my way. We shared a taxi, chatted with the taxi driver like we'd been together for ages, dropped him at his. Quick kiss and many smiles, then taxi driver took me home, and had interesting chat about my ex-husband child-watching while I was on a date.

Bee may well be the real deal.

I can't possibly sleep, and I have to be up at 5.15.....

Oh tanya you were right about Bee! So utterly thrilled for you.

Tanya it sounds amazing.happy dance from me too been waiting all night for the update. Anticipation for the next date will be vamped up to the max I love that excitement/ nervousness

And, oh, his lush Northern accent. Sigh.

Bet you want to throw WMLB on the fire right now don't you tanya

Maybe! Just going to enjoy how I am feeling in this moment, except for the bit where I would merrily have had him here and now..... And hope it doesn't come crashing down.

I'm so pleased for you! So happy that the feelings converted in RL.

Completely with you on enjoying the moment and hoping it doesn't come crashing down.

Restores your faith doesn't it - perhaps there are a few good ones out there after all. And, in my opinion, if they are good ones we don't need to worry about sticking to the WMLB rules too much.

Not agreed anything yet, Waving, will let you know.

Have to get up for work, and boss knew about date so will have to face embarrassing questions from him!

Will catch up properly with all your last night updates after the school/nursery run.

So pleased to read your update Tanya.

What a great update!!!! So happy for you Tanya !!!! Keep us posted with details!

twiggy that's great news also!

Omg what a great start to 2016 for this thread.

handy wow. What on earth?? Are you going to ignore? He will be doing it to get a reaction from you. I can't tell you what your supposed BF is thinking. Are you ok?

Have great days everyone!

Handy just caught up on thread. What a pair of idiots. I agree with sassy that its probably for a reaction. With friends like that eh? I would remind yourself how she's welcome to him. They sound like they probably deserve each other. Hope you are ok.
Twiggy sounds like a great set up, so pleased for you!

Thanks guys. It's not the first time she's done that in the last couple of months. She's in her own shit relationship and trying to keep me as her lame duck friend, I think, I think now that I'm moving on in life I'm no longer a mirror for her and she's decided she has more in common with my superficial ex and his gf and their friends. She has a point actually.

Anyway at 1am I sent her a gentle but full and frank explanation of why she is no longer my friend. She won't let me go gently and I'm expecting a shitstorm from her today. I feel very nervous about the shitstorm but am very clear about what is happening. Very difficult. Am literally going to stay out of the house today to avoid the mental reaction I'm expecting.....

Funny how things turn out eh.

Handy, that it utterly appalling. Bad, bad friend. And so stupid, why does she think she won't end up going through what you did?!

Waving, shame re Soho, but glad you had a good day. As always, keep us posted.

Twiggy, yay! Pleased for you!

Was hilarious reading all your anticipation last night! Sorry for keeping you hanging!

Got a text from Northerner at 10 last night "How was your date".

Told my ex-H this morning that I had been on a date. (He was at my house with the girls until I got home). He was absolutely awesome about it.

Now going in to a grilling from my boss...

tanya so happy for you! It sounds amazing and it's so terrifying and exhilaration when the spark is reciprocated!

Bear is a Northerner too and what I got from him a few days ago was ''I would hate to do anything that would jeopardise your dates with H". I didn't know what to say to that. He was still texting me minding. I have cut him OFF now. It will just prevent me from thinking straight, I needed to remind myself of my own agenda coming in to this OLD lark. Anyway, tanyadm I can't believe your xh is so obliging. Mine would be an arse, make some remark about how he'd have to re-think the maintenance or some such bollix just to de-stabalise me!

handywoman when I left Abusive x, years ago, I totally relocated so I wasn't really mixing with people who knew both of us, but if anybody so much as minimised what I'd been through (and a few did, without even having heard his ''side'') with a "ah six of one and half a dozen of the other" etc etc, I just couldn't deal with it and I had to delete them, ignore them, stop making efforts to be friendly. If I heard any of that 'ah 6 of one and half a dozen of the other type of bullshit" I just had to relegate that person to somebody I would be civil to, no more. Some people are very invested in denial........ Cut your "friend" loose and move forward.
After my abusive x, although I recognise abuse and instantly back away, I find I'm still intimidated (?) or afraid of having a good man be interested in me. A man that other women would want. It's almost like it's too much, that last layer still has a damaged self-esteem. I'm trying to ignore the voices that say "h could have anybody, why you, he could have a younger woman a taller woman a woman with a great job" I'm trying to ignore those voices. At least I understand the batshit dialoguing in my head now. ONce I would have spent two years chasing after Bear and I would have got rid of H because I couldn't stand the pressure of being ''good enough''.

Too much psychobabble for the dating thread :-p Apologies. Just feel like I'm swimming upstream at the moment, trying to break old patterns.