Can I get a male perspective on porn?

[Lepetitechat]

What part does it play in your life? If you're in a relationship do you still use it? Do you hide it from your partner? I'm just interested to know , and this is to do with my own self confidence - do the women in porn 'stick' in your head, or are they just images that you forget about moments later?
Do the women have to be stunning or is it more about the bodies and what's happening?
How does this affect how you feel about your OH?
I know how I feel about it, I don't watch it but if I did, and I have done in the past - the people in it made no difference to me, I couldn't have cared less but I know some people take it more seriously - having favourite stars for instance..
Sry for all the questions

sigh
Ok.
Porn actors are real people yes, but I can't believe you don't understand that sitting wanking to them is sex.
For me, at least, sex is something that happens in real life, between 2 people, it's about real touch, real reactions, connections and feelings.
You cannot experience that watching some porno. Sorry but you can't.
And I know that's the way society is moving in terms of sex, but I'll believe always that sex involves real life human beings. Even if that means I'll never get laid again!!

OP is clear that porn leaves you cold but surely you can understand how other people feel differently? You surely don't think that everyone is the same as you do you?

Well, I personally prefer sexual encounters with people rather than images on a screen (and in fact choose not to use filmed pornography because of the risk that real people are being abused in the course of filming it). But it's a bit strange to claim it's not about sex when its whole purpose is to sexually arouse.

However your response to me does rather suggest that you need to try to unravel what your attitude to porn use is - not your boyfriend's, yours. It is okay to say "I personally think it is morally wrong and don't want to be in a relationship with someone who uses it" - though of course equally at this point your boyfriend is free to choose to walk away.

If conversely you decide you're okay with it under some circumstances (a quick release instantly forgotten about but not if it's obsessing him to the extent where he wants to imagine you as his favourite porn star) then the man you have to talk to is him, not a collection of blokes on the Internet. The poster upthread who likened it to a spectrum from a yearly flutter on the National through to problem gambling was spot on - and ththe only person who can tell you where on this spectrum he lies is him.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is does it make you feel less attracted to your OH or women you're dating, because no one can compare or match up?(to porn women)

You will find more attractive than average women and men not just in porn but in films, tv, in the pop music world, etc. None of this has ever stopped me from finding "ordinary" women attractive. Far from it, probably the intensest attractions I have felt in my life have very been towards women I've known.

You have to accept that saying anyone has ever been accused of being a rapist because they watched porn is unreasonable. That clearly and obviously has never happened...

Go on then, Mr high and mighty..
Still not sure why you'd find a group of people on the internet intimidating though, it's not like we're in the room with you.
Unless of course you have some erm.. Strange tastes that might be embarrassing for you to share, I understand :-).

voyage is clearly ashamed of his porn use offred, although why this is I don't know - don't all men do it voyage why the embarrassment?

And -japab if you think this is the case, google Porn Stars without Make up. It might just give you a reality check.

Yeah OP if you want a male point of view then you are going the wrong way about it.

Your point that MN posters call porn users rapists?

You may like porn and feel comfortable with your views on it VOD but other people are allowed to disagree and criticise your views just as you are allowed to criticise and disagree yourself.

I fail to see how stating that porn watchers get told they are rapists in any way makes you look reasonable or coherent...

I'm not proving your point voyage, I don't know what you mean by all threads on this subject go the same way, unless you mean that porn users get accused of being rapists which does not happen at all and has not happened on this thread! All I'm saying is that you must be into some really f-d up sh*t to be so closed and high and mighty about the subject. Does your DW know you frequent the relationships section of a women's discussion forum? She probably doesn't know about the type of porn you watch either..! Oh dear....

I think women's use of porn is a far more interesting subject as it's generally something not acknowledged. One of my friends has 'come out' as an enjoyer of porn. Can't really see why she needed to, loads of women get turned on by it, but few admit to it. I'd assume a lot of men use porn. It's the type of porn which tells us more, not the use of it. A user of abusive, violent porn would turn me right off a man.

Lepetitechat what is your problem?

And of course wanking is sex, it's a sexual act, whether you're watching porn or not.

really Lepetitechat porn isnt about sex
what a pathetic attempt at spin
you are not a genuine poster and you cant post this in the sex section because you've not been a member long enough to access it

stop insulting us with your stupid bullshit

"For me, at least, sex is something that happens in real life, between 2 people, it's about real touch, real reactions, connections and feelings."

Sex can happen between more than two people, or just 1, and does not have to involve "feelings" at all. All it needs is sexual arousal and acts done for sexual enjoyment, and masturbation fits this description of a sexual act perfectly.

A pathetic attempt at spin? Wtf are you talking about Suzanne
And I've already posted on the sex section
Just try and shut me up because I guarantee I'll win
Porn isn't about sex. Sex is something that happens between 2 people. Have you not been through school? Have you never had sex?
Is that why you're so frustrated?

By the way, it's le petit chat or la petite chatte. "Le petite chat" doesn't exist in the French language.

And I wouldn't recommend calling yourself chatte (pussy, as in fanjo) so you might like to go with "le petit chat".

Erm, yeah - the little cat is what I meant (as in little pussy-cat) :-)

Prove you're not a journalist OP, post something on a topic in the sex section. Failure to do so will be taken as proof that you ARE a journalist

What a dumbass comment. Any journalist likely to use MN for article research would presumably have enough sense to have registered well in advance/have used it before. Posting (or not) 'proves' exactly fuck all.

I don't get the issue with journalists anyway. So what if someone's a journo. If you don't want to post on a thread/discuss an issue, then don't. You do realise that journalists can browse, lift whatever material they fancy, and even post on MN to their heart's content? they are probably already among you!

"Sex is something that happens between 2 people"

Not necessarily. Your education in this area seems a bit lacking

"Have you not been through school? Have you never had sex? Is that why you're so frustrated?"

My, aren't we a bit tightly wound today

So no one agrees that porn isn't sex? I'm actually despairing right now.......

And presumably, if the OP were a journo, she wouldn't be being so childish and goady.