i don't know if i can talk about it here?

[panele01]

hello everyone,
i am new here and i don't know,i am not sure if i can talk about it here? i am 20 weeks and 4 days pregnant
,but i am having problems in my life right now,difficulties,complications

I'm going to be really harsh:
You have a language barrier which makes it hard to understand what we post

Go to your GP and tell her things are bad again with your mental health. There is nothing that will change for you just by posting here without doing something.

Poor you, Panele :( You must feel so confused.

Look, just distract yourself for now. Read a book or watch a film in your own language. Keep yourself warm & comfortable. Remember you have a better future, with the love of a child who needs you. Think about this future when you go to sleep - how you want it to be, the things you will teach your child and nice places to take her/him as you grow together.

GarlicBake,thank you love But that happened months ago and Noeuf is completely right,i seriously need to do something about my stress and depression,thank you Noeuf

It seems to me that you would benefit from speaking to Rape Crisis.

The national helpline freephone number 0808 802 9999 is open 12noon-2.30pm and 7pm-9.30pm every day including Sundays and RC have a centre in Croydon who I am sure can help with many of your current problems.

As you became pregant by an older man shortly after you were sexually assaulted in your dm's home, it seems probable that the father of your dc took advantage of your vulnerability and, if this is the case, it will have added to your obvious depression.

I appreciate that you may have to go out of your dms' flat to do so, but please do try to call Rape Crisis between the hours shown tomorrow.

www.rasasc.org.uk/

goddessofsmallthings,thank you the person who got me pregnant,is someone who i know and who is my friend,my mother's partner didn't get me pregnant,seriously

It doesn't matter. What matters is that you are suffering PTSD from sexual assault. This is making you depressed, afraid to take action, and frozen in your feelings. Rape Crisis can help with this.

This is about PTSD:

She may seem to be in a trance or just seem detached and calm. She may feel numb or as if she is outside her own body. She may be unable to act voluntary, or feel that time is moving faster or slower than it is.

Attempts to avoid the pain of thinking or feeling about a traumatic event may affect other parts of a woman's life, as well.
She may keep away from people and places that might remind her of the trauma; restrict her emotions and not connect with other people; keep her future plans very limited.

• Does this sound like a woman you know?

GarlicBake,was it about me?

You sound like this in your posts. What do you think?

From Google Translate. Don't know if it's any good!

Ji gali atrodyti būti užhipnotizuoti ar tiesiog atrodo atsiskirti ir ramus. Ji gali jaustis nutirpęs arba , jei ji yra ne savo kūną.
Ji gali būti negalėjo veikti savanoriškas, ar manote , kad laikas juda greičiau arba lėčiau , nei ji yra.

Ji gali laikyti atokiai nuo žmonių ir vietų , kurios gali priminti jai apie traumos ; apriboti savo emocijas , o ne sujungti su kitais žmonėmis ; išlaikyti savo ateities planus labai ribotas.

Wow,that is me,i was reading and thinking,GarlicBake just described me,GarlicBake described the way i am,the way i feel,everything

I haven't suggested that your dm's partner sexually assaulted you nor have I suggested that he is responsible for your pregnancy, panele.

As you've said that the assault took place in your dm's home, this is another reason why you shouldn't be staying there as living in the same place will be traumatic in itself and may be triggering and adding to your conflicted feelings.

As I understand it, you have blocked the man who is responsible for your pregnancy because of things he said to you and anyone who verbally abuses you can't be regarded as a 'friend'.

goddessofsmallthings,oooooh i see,i understand

Yes,the person who got me pregnant and who i have blocked on the fb,i wouldn't call him a friend anymore,i don't wanna post here his last messages in fb before i have blocked him,because it contains swearing words,horrible sentenses,this is true,i am not lying to you

Correction: i don't wanna post here his last messages from fb,before i have blocked him

Thank you all of you Goodnight all,sweet dreams,all the best,good luck,take care,bye

I think that sounds like you too

And I know so well that feeling of time slipping past and everything going past you and you not being able to join in...

Someone on mumsnet once said people who are depressed and traumatized can't make themsves plan ahead more than a few mins, or an hour, or a day... Because deep down, they don't know if they will be alive then, or if they will be able to function... They called it 'foreshortened future' fancy name, for being so scared and broken, you can't think ahead.

That sounded like me then, and you now I think too?

Trouble is, you've got a timer ticking away in your tummy, and you need to do something, before its all happening at once and you can't cope.

Ask your GP about treatment for trauma and PTSD, ask about medicines and counseling. And ask about mother and baby units... I know spaces are so short but I think it could help you so much.

Just ask, no one new yet, but I really hope your GP is doing more behind the scenes to find all this stuff out as it's not really ok to leave you without help, and support, even if that's what you are saying to her. She should be coming up with options and explaining stuff to you.

By the way, the whole antenatal care thing, they can help you get support, like, consultant led care, minimal invasive examinations, c-section to avoid bringing back awful memories... It's worth getting into that system, if your GP can help you and work with them to make sure you are treated very gently and differently right from the off...

By the way Panele, I reported your message where you give the name of your GP surgery. You are better not having that much detail on the Internet - not being mean, protecting you.

MiscellaneousAssortment,i see,i am so sorry i didn't know that,thank you

Hello everyone,my mother is sitting by the table where her pc is and trying to sort out Tax Return,Self-Assessment now,i am worried more that she will get me into trouble and i am worried about another thing that i will have to pay £100 penalty......

She is gone to the Gym,my mother has gone to the Gym about a half an hour ago,maybe,she did something with sorting out the Tax Return,Self-Assesment,i don't know,i am really sorry,i know i must pay attention more,my mother woke me up out of a deep sleep asking for my recruitment agencies name and if i have a letter,document from that agency for which i have worked last year,the last time before Sexual Assault,ok,it sounds like an excuse.......hmmmm

Panele, PLEASE STOP APOLOGISING!!!!

You are not wrong. You are not stupid. You are not lazy. You are hurt and scared. It's okay.

Now, are you washed & dressed? Eaten something?

GarlicBake,ok,thank you

Yes?

GarlicBake,but i don't want to go anywhere,i am still in my pyjamas and i am lieing in my sofa now

Correction: lying