i don't know if i can talk about it here?

[panele01]

hello everyone,
i am new here and i don't know,i am not sure if i can talk about it here? i am 20 weeks and 4 days pregnant
,but i am having problems in my life right now,difficulties,complications

ohdearlord,i have been trying to get in touch with CAB,but it is not easy to get through,everytime i call.,i can't get trough with someone......hmmmm,its too hard to say what it says when i call,make a phone call and remember.....

ohdearlord,i see,i understand,i will do my best dear,thank you very much,i am in touch with my GP,seriously

all a bit odd this.....dont understand some of the contradictory comments!

020 8684 2236 Is the number for Croydon CAB's advice line. It is open 2pm-3.30pm. If you can't get through that may be because lots of people are ringing at the same time.

You can also email them and ask for them to call you back.

If you called our CAB I would suggest I make you a face to face appointment for advice about claiming benefits and support to do this, also to give you some advice about finding a home. I'd expect that it might be necessary to make some phone calls on your behalf and possibly help you fill in forms due to the language barrier and you being vulnerable at the moment due to pregnancy and the situation with your mother/everything else causing you to feel worn down.

Each CAB works slightly differently though, they may have a different way of doing things.

Hmmmmmm......yes,thats a right nr Offred dear,it could be,thats why i can't get through to someone......hmmmm,i am sorry for getting back now,i can try and go there and talk to someone face to face

Did you tell the GP your mother beats you with a belt?

Dear Noeuf,my mother didn't beat me up with the belt yet,but she is cable of doing it,dear,she could do that,i am telling you dear,she is sick in her head

i'm reading this and thinking this is not real......pregnant, no midwife and who calls anyone dear any more? we live in a country where you go to the doctors and you get taken care of! no social services involved either? living in a house where a rape took place, and your mum beats you with a belt? If you want to talk to someone go to a walk in centre and they will get you to women's shelter asap. stop wasting peoples time....

It is real,it is happening,my mother doesn't beat me up yet,she could do that if there was a reason,i won't be posting in here anymore

Dont take any notice of lightsleeper, you sound as though you do need help and other posters are giving helpful suggestions.

Ok I misunderstood your post on the 18th at 23.31; it was just an example of something bad she could do?
I think your GP should refer you to the midwife though- checking heartbeats and stuff is their job and they are good at it.

There are two CAB's which serve Croydon, the second of which is in New Addington:

1. Citizens Advice Bureau

68 Parkgate Rd 020 8405 3552

1. Citizens Advice Bureau

1 Overbury Crescent 020 8684 2236

CAB offices tend to be very busy and you are best advised to go in person to the one nearest to where you are living now and ask to make an appointment if they're unable to see you on the day.

However, as your issues would appear to be a) the council not being responsive to your request for housing, b) a lack of documents to prove your identity, and c) the questionable business of your having entered into a contract for a phone which you could not afford which led to you changing 'addresses' for your bank account imo, as previously stated, you're best advised to call 0208 767 277 and make an appointment with Crodyon Law Centre, 5th Floor, Davis House, Robert Street which is in the centre of the town and is, hopefully, within easy walking distance of your dm's home.

Ok,i understand,i can try to type slowly,in a understanding way,i do apologise for my behaviour,when i call you dears,it is in a nice,police,friendly way,you have more potential,experience then me,i feel you are more older then me,i am still new to the whole pregnancy thing,everything,i am suffering sexual assault trauma now,i am at my mother's place where incident occurred,where the life is nothing but stress,i can put pictures in here i noticed that but i can't put videos.......i see that people don't believe me,but seriously,i don't have no intentions to lie and no reason to hide from you,100000% true,i did use your advices,information,i really did,i swear

Noeuf,i asked my GP for the midwife,it is confidential,i am really sorry,it is between me and my GP,I do know that my GP will do everything in her power to help me,i spoke to her with my whole body shaking and nearly crying that time,seriously

By the way,i did make copies of letters related to Self Assesment,HMRevenue while my mother was not home,i did that quickly and carefully,it is good she hasn't noticed when she came home that those letters have been touched,i mean those letters which she is keeping to herself,the letters related to Tax Return,Self Assesment.....hmmmm

I hope she won't suspect anything and notice,my mother........hmmmmm

With the best will in the world, you've been posting here for 3 weeks but you don't appear to have acted on any of the advice you've been given, panelo.

Of course it's up to you whether or not you heed the advice you receive, but it's stressful to read your posts detailing what you are going through at your mother's home, and the way she has treated, is treating you, and may treat you, when it doesn't have to be like this as the help you need is just a phone call or a short walk away.

It's unlikely that your GP can do much more than put you in contact with an advice/drop in centre or shelter, attempt to negotiate a place for you in a hostel for single pregnant women, or write a letter to the council in support of your need for emergency housing, but if s/he is able to get you out of your unsatisfactory current living conditions in the next few days I trust you will let us know so that we can add GPs to the list of valuable resources available to other women who may find themselves in a similar situation to your own.

Everyone gets referred to the midwife, I don't think that's very confidential - it would be weirder not to.
What do you think you need to aim for first?

I am sorry Noeuf,i didn't understand your question,no no,seriously,i didn't

I was saying all pregnant women see a midwife, it's not confidential or off that your GP would refer you.
My question was what do you need to do first? Can you choose something that needs sorting ?

Yes,i understand Noeuf,hmmmm.......firestable,i have to go to see someone at CAB and then go to see my Council and see what they will say,what help i can get.....hmmmmmm

CAB is a good idea. They are very good at explaining your rights and entitlements.

We seem to be going round in circles, panelo.

Earlier you said that I have spoken to my GP this morning,i have explained my situation about me and my mother,what is happening,everything,i asked for my GP's serious help.

When Offred asked what your GP had suggested you replied it is confidential, she will get me help but you are now saying that you have to go to see someone at CAB and then go to see my Council and see what they will say, what help i can get which is the advice that's been given you repeatedly over the course of three weeks you've been posting here.

With regard to your lack of identity documents, is there a particular reason why you didn't sign on at the Job Centre after your last job came to an end? Does it have anything to do with the fact that you have no documents to present as proof of your identity? Were you given a P45 form when you left that employment and, if so, is it still in your possession?

Are you a UK or Lithuanian passport holder and have you reported the loss of your passport to the police and made enquiries as to what you need to do to replace it?

You say that you've changed your bank's address in the hope that the phone company with whom you entered into a contract you couldn't afford wouldn't be able to find you. Do you have a bank card and have you asked the bank if they have retained copies of whatever identifying documents you were required to present when you first opened the account?

All this confusion and uncertainty sound very difficult to live in.

In the UK there are very clear processes, laws / legislation and procedures. For example, when pregnant you are referred to the hospital of your choice, to midwife led care for a booking in appointment, and then care may vary according to the situation, but there are well worn paths and checks to follow. I am confused why the GP didn't do the routine referral before, as she would have done hundreds of times.

I am also confused about why you seem to think that the GP has given you special help or will step in with powers beyond the remit of her job. Maybe that's not what's happening here, and the confusion is a language barrier thing, but you do seem to be putting a lot of faith in someone who will have clear boundaries and limits eg she would never get involved in your finances, debt and HMRC paperwork. She can put you in touch with housing team, or adult social services and support / refer/ advise through domestic abuse situations etc.

I wonder if you are used to a very different bureaucracy and support systems, which is causing additional problems.

Sorry am very tired so not explaining very well.