It's nearly new year and I'm feeling really down .. I know it's not an unusual problem but as it says in the title I've been kind of the ow on and off for 3 years although we only slept together this year, and he lied to me about the gf I had an idea but of course he lied through his teeth about her , said she was a family friend ! he's had 4 gfs since I've known him 4/5 years, since he split from his wife. I just can't get over him or forget him... Yes it's a cliche he's 50 and good looking , not short of offers, I'm early 30s we have amazing sex a few times a year and in short I just want him so much. I'm realistic I know it won't go any where but all I want to do is pick up the phone wish him happy new year...the other half of me is so angry and hates him with a vengeance and what's to find the gf and tell her exactly who he is and the fact he's cheated before me, think long term affair while married etc. I've tried online dating meeting people through friends and other ways with nil success. I'm Very pretty but it doesn't matter an iota when it comes to relationships as I've found out. All my friends are coupled up and I recently broke friends with by best friend so I don't feel I have any one to turn to.my only relationship was an emotional abuse one again with someone older so I'm not worldly wise on relationships. Please help