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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Ow... Well kind of.....

87 replies

Kimberley00001 · 30/12/2015 19:50

It's nearly new year and I'm feeling really down .. I know it's not an unusual problem but as it says in the title I've been kind of the ow on and off for 3 years although we only slept together this year, and he lied to me about the gf I had an idea but of course he lied through his teeth about her , said she was a family friend ! he's had 4 gfs since I've known him 4/5 years, since he split from his wife. I just can't get over him or forget him... Yes it's a cliche he's 50 and good looking , not short of offers, I'm early 30s we have amazing sex a few times a year and in short I just want him so much. I'm realistic I know it won't go any where but all I want to do is pick up the phone wish him happy new year...the other half of me is so angry and hates him with a vengeance and what's to find the gf and tell her exactly who he is and the fact he's cheated before me, think long term affair while married etc. I've tried online dating meeting people through friends and other ways with nil success. I'm Very pretty but it doesn't matter an iota when it comes to relationships as I've found out. All my friends are coupled up and I recently broke friends with by best friend so I don't feel I have any one to turn to.my only relationship was an emotional abuse one again with someone older so I'm not worldly wise on relationships. Please help

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 30/12/2015 23:11

How old are you ?

eloquent · 30/12/2015 23:13

This guy had a wife, then 4, yes 4! other girlfriends when he could have had you? You are deluded, he doesn't want you for anything other than a quick shag.
You deserve better.

AnyFucker · 30/12/2015 23:15

This loser can't even shag

Original poster
Kimberley00001 · 30/12/2015 23:16

Early 30s af

OP posts:
TheCrazyDuchess · 30/12/2015 23:17

If he is as prolific in cheating as you describe she probably already knows.

Telling GF is so you can make someone else feel as bad as you do for your life choices.

Leave the man, get a life and move the fuck on

AnyFucker · 30/12/2015 23:17

You are too old for this teenage shit, Kimberley. I am embarassed for you.

TheCrazyDuchess · 30/12/2015 23:18

nail fungus

ROAR

AnyFucker · 30/12/2015 23:20

Stop it, I am trying to be serious here

I was thinking mould around the bath

TheCrazyDuchess · 30/12/2015 23:21

It was too much!!! Set me off

VaticanAssassin · 31/12/2015 01:16

You are too old for this teenage shit, Kimberley. I am embarassed for you.

YY to this, me too. I'm half tempted to think this is a Troll thread because surely nobody would be so blind and stupid to fall for it

Original poster
Kimberley00001 · 31/12/2015 06:59

It's not a joke/ fake thread. Ive decided if I find out who the gf is I'll screenshot msg etc and I'm going to inform her as she has no clue.

OP posts:
longdays · 31/12/2015 07:34

OP please don't screenshot his messages to his gf. He will just lie and deny it to her.and then paint you as a crazy person. Block him and cut all contact is the only thing that will help you here. You could still feel awful and miss him for a long time, but it gets easier. Don't get to next NYE and be in the same position.

BitOutOfPractice · 31/12/2015 09:12

Kimberley I suspect you are planning on doing that to get his attention again / fuel the drama further. So don't pretend you're doing it for altruistic reasons.

Just cut all contact with Mr Toe Fungus and get a grip of yourself and your self esteem.

Savagebeauty · 31/12/2015 09:20

You are either very dim or enjoy getting off on all the drama.
cum I think that speaks volumes about you

Penfold007 · 31/12/2015 09:26

Tell her what, that you've knowingly had a sexual relationship with a man even though he was married and then during his time with four other women. That you've been his booty call and indulged in unprotected vaginal and oral sex throughout this time.
At least she can get herself checked for STIs.

FantasticButtocks · 31/12/2015 09:33

He doesn't sound worth all this. At all.

How about using new year to make a resolution to not waste your time with anyone who doesn't treat you well?

Or you could resolve to take all the steps needed to repair in yourself whatever it is that has you believing you are worth so very little.

ColdWhiteWinePlease · 31/12/2015 09:50

He is a Cad.

He's shagging multiple women at once. He won't settle down EVER. He's in his 50's and hasn't changed so far.

I think his GF already knows. I mean, to be shagging so many women, there must be huge gaps in time where she knows he should be home, but he's missing! Confused

When a man is serious about you, he will be in your life completely. He will not want The One to get away. He will put a ring on it. He won't go Awol. He won't shag other women.

He may well have women falling at his feet just now. But where will he be in 10 years, when he's 60?

Where do you want to be in 10 years? His fall back, now he's losing his looks. And you're early 40's with no kids, but you got him in the end? Or with someone your own age, a family, and a loving DH, who thinks you're the best thing that ever happened to him?

Klaptout · 31/12/2015 10:23

Look he's not even a great shag is he, he is porn addict and a wanker who collects women with ailing self esteem.
The only person who needs to clearly see what a tosser he is, is you.
Dump him, then go about locating your self worth and esteem, you are worth it.

OnADarkDesertHighway · 31/12/2015 11:28

Ain't read your other threads but from the posts on here he is a fuckwit of the highest order. He is not even married now so he has no excuse not to be with you. He has chosen to have other girlfriends instead of you.

This will not get better for you. For your own sake dump him. Block him and do whatever it is you need to do to keep him out of your life.

Original poster
Kimberley00001 · 31/12/2015 15:10

I'm not enjoying the drama, I just feel very angry and he gets no repercussions from this... His gf won't find out they don't live together he's a ft single dad he sees her a couple of times a week so the majority of his times his own....

OP posts:
laurierf · 31/12/2015 15:23

Kimberly… focus on yourself. As far as you're concerned, it really, really doesn't matter what happens to him - he is his gf's and dc's concern, not yours. You do not need to actively take revenge on him - that is too much energy, time and anger to be wasted on this man. No life is free from repercussions - when and how he gets his is nothing to do with you.

You don't need to meet someone else, you need to focus on yourself - your health, hobbies, happiness, home.

TimeToMuskUp · 31/12/2015 15:26

But he will get repercussions, long-term; people always do when they spend their lives shitting on others. It just might not be you who shows him the error of his ways.

DH has a mate who, frankly, is a bit of a dick. He treated his DW atrociously so she left him, he had an OW overlapping the DW who also left him, he spent a while having ONS' with pretty much anyone he could find, and now his Ex-DW is deliriously happy with a new guy and he's alone and, well, a bit of a sad excuse for a man who once had everything.

Life catches up with folk like this and eventually exacts a better sort of revenge than you can. Leave him be and find some other way to make yourself happy. There's no better revenge than happy indifference.

wickedlazy · 31/12/2015 15:31

Hmm I thought I was on the wrong website for a minute there, reading that first reply. This is bonkers. Burn his shit, pretend he never exsisted, nod politely if you see him or the gf then walk away. Why are you bothering with such a "ladies man" who could be carrying all sorts of sti's.

Waltermittythesequel · 31/12/2015 15:37

How Samantha Brick has fallen.

YouBastardSockBalls · 31/12/2015 15:41

Is this the guy who pissed the bath then sent you photos?

THIS guy!??

OP no. Just no.

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