Totally ruined my Christmas

[Clarkey2345]

Well as always he ruined my Christmas i spent half hour with our children on christmas morning and didn't get to see my children open there presents because he wasent ready to go and see them after seeing our children we went to his parents house to have Christmas dinner and was there over an hour, then after dinner we went home and he spent the rest of rob night sleeping as usual when i could have been down with my kids watching them playing with there toys and having fun he also said i am ungrateful because he bought me a very expensive phone for Christmas and all i spent was £20 on him for presents.
He also keeps on at me all the time for sex and when i said no he gets angry and says pack your things are f**k off down your mothers house, yet if i tried to leave he would stop me so why tell me to leave in the first place????

Hi Pern there really isn't any room at my parents house at the moment, he has been violent towards me before many years ago .

So your children are your partners aswell?

Don't let him ruin anything else, Clarkey.

The advice & support on here can help you massively if you let it.

H

You could sleep on the floor if you at least got away. Do all the DC share? Or b & b / hostel if needs be. There will be room but you need to make the first move.

Posted too soon

Hope you find the strength & support to move forwards & onwards.

Plenty of great advice on here from posters who have managed to get away & find peace.

It all sounds terribly casual on your part to be honest across all your threads. You're "chatting" with women's aid and you've "chatted" with your gp but have you actually done anything about leaving this waste of space?

Hi Shutthatdoor my partner is the father to my children

Hi Robotgirl thanks for the advice will chat with Womans aid

Hi LIZS Womans aid said if there is room at a refuge i can go there where he won't be able to find me and carry out his threats but he knows where my family live and that's what worries me because he said he will hurt them aswell

Hi ThreeRuddyTubs i have only chatted to Womans aid a few times and explained what he's like and how he controls me but that's it because of the threats he's made towards my family he know that I won't leave him or the relationship.

I never post in these threads, but I remember your other posts. I'm going to use shouty caps too.
HE HAS MADE THREATS OF VIOLENCE TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY-TELL THE POLICE.
DO NOT USE THAT NEW PHONE bet it's got tracking stuff all over it.
GET THE FUCK OUT AND PHONE THE POLICE! I bet if you listened to WA they would tell you the same and I can't believe they haven't already. (They will be open, Christmas is their busy time, sadly)
I appreciate how hard it is in this situation, but your children are safe with your parents, (they need to hear the truth from you) it's time you got yourself safe.

I would never put a bloke above my kids. I would give my life. You got your parents to go. Your kids will never forgive you if you don't leave. You still got a chance to be the mother to your kids.

Hi TheSpectre thanks for the advice and i will be ringing Womans aid later and having a chat with them because i don't want to be away from my children for another Christmas not being able to watch them opening there presents Christmas morning.

Love. I HAVE been where you are, and actually one abuser is very much like another. So please listen, don't dismiss what I have to say because you're scared of doing something.

With respect, stop fucking "chatting" with all and sundry and start taking your life back.

Chatting to WA? Chatting to Samaritans, chatting on here?

None of this is putting you in a better environment, it's just one day longer with someone who could very well kill you.

Don't use the new phone. It could have a tracking or listening device.

"Chat" if you must with the police domestic violence team. You have dismissed them as "probably not going to help", but you have not tried.

Call WA and ask for help to get somewhere to go as soon as possible, no matter what. Stop just chatting and start asking for help to get out. Leave your mobile phone behind and get a new phone/sim. Call police and report the threats. Make an appointment with your gp and report the dv and the threats.

You can do this.

You have no choice, so don't waste another day on this pathetic, inferior, weak and sad little man.

What WILL it take you to want to be a mum to your kids MORE than a girlfriend to this twat?

Have you got ANY idea of how easy it actually is to leave? Once you have made up your mind that you want to be free and live a proper life with your children, it's just a single footstep.

I know how terrifying that first step is, but your children are at the end of that journey.

Exactly what Hissy said. The time for chats is past. TELL your family, if this pathetic bully decides to go the them makes sure they are expecting him, TELL the police, TELL everyone who will listen.

Hi Hissy i do need to get out of this domestic abuse relationship because it's been controlling and abusive for many years now and i am going to ring Womans aid tonight and have a chat with them and ask them to help me get out of this relationship because i cannot stay in this relationship any longer being controlled and told what to do.

Are mental health issues involved here?

Hi Hissy what's stopping me from leaving is his threats to hurt me and my family aswell and i cannot see them hurt and i am not sure if his threats are just threats but he has been abusive towards me before and gets very angry.

... Any reply other than packing a bag or picking up the phone to make the all to get you out is just an excuse, and you know this...

I don't want to see any more "but he's so controlling" "he's abusive". Those are REASONS TO LEAVE, not excuses to stay, OK?

Come on. Get out, get your kids back and live long and happy.

Hi TheSpectre i am going to chat with Womans aid tonight

OP I can't help with the DV issues, though there has been some great advice already. I just wanted to say that I've worked for a great dog rescue/rehoming centre or 5 years and we take dogs in from people in your situation immediately and without hesitation- if youre scared about leaving your dog with him and want out please send me a message.
I don't know where you live but I will travel anywhere in the country to pick them up and take them somewhere safe. I absolutely mean this. Whether it's this week or in a years time, let me know and I will come.

Good luck with getting out, it's time to get tough.

Why haven't you told the police about his threats?

Hi LilyLongLegs no there isn't