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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Totally ruined my Christmas

481 replies

Clarkey2345 · 28/12/2015 14:35

Well as always he ruined my Christmas i spent half hour with our children on christmas morning and didn't get to see my children open there presents because he wasent ready to go and see them after seeing our children we went to his parents house to have Christmas dinner and was there over an hour, then after dinner we went home and he spent the rest of rob night sleeping as usual when i could have been down with my kids watching them playing with there toys and having fun he also said i am ungrateful because he bought me a very expensive phone for Christmas and all i spent was £20 on him for presents.
He also keeps on at me all the time for sex and when i said no he gets angry and says pack your things are f**k off down your mothers house, yet if i tried to leave he would stop me so why tell me to leave in the first place????

OP posts:
Funinthesun15 · 29/12/2015 00:20

honestly the reason my children are with my parents is nothing to do with him and the domestic violence there are other reasons

^ this is from your previous thread OP.

I am now a genuinely confused as to what is actually happening.

You are saying here it isn't all to do with him but previously you've said it's nothing to do with him as to why your DC were removed.

Duck90 · 29/12/2015 00:28

Supporting someone through dv is a frustrating experience for friends and family.

Many women, that I have know, have chosen the man over the children.

He probably has previous of violent crimes, so SW will have him their radar. Or having life style choices that are not acceptable for children to be around.

Being worried about the dog! So? Good for her. The children are safe with gps. It shows she has empathy for other living beings.

Animals are a huge reason why people don't leave a horrible life. Not many refuges or private lets will take pets.

calzone · 29/12/2015 00:41

Does your partner work funny hours clarky?

Just wondering how you can post so late.....don't get caught.... :(

DollyTwat · 29/12/2015 00:43

Op I know it's hard to leave, but unless you're actually imprisoned, you could just stay at your parents when you next see your kids. WA are going to advise you you to inform the police. Because if you leave and don't go to your parents, he's going to look for you there isn't he?

So you are going to HAVE to tell them so they can be prepared. So you may as well stay there and infirm the police.

WA aren't going to wave a magic wand. You will have to DO the things people are advising in this thread - these are people who have been to WA

You can get all the advice you need, you still have to walk out that door yourself. And when you do, the whole of Mn will be cheering for you

Clarkey2345 · 29/12/2015 00:45

Thanks Duck90 yes i do worry about the dog because she is also frightened of him but someone on here has offered to foster her while i go into refuge and get other accommodation.

OP posts:
Clarkey2345 · 29/12/2015 00:48

Thanks DollyTwat i will maybe ring 101 and ask do they have a domestic violence team i could chat with and just tell them all the threats he's made to me and my family.

OP posts:
Clarkey2345 · 29/12/2015 00:49

Hi calzone no he doesn't work funny hours.

OP posts:
DollyTwat · 29/12/2015 00:54

Clarkey just do it
Do it now
Do it the minute you can in the morning

Don't let this go on. He's just a man. Not a god. He's not beyond the law. He's not in charge of you

C'mon take charge of your own life

ImtheChristmasCarcass · 29/12/2015 02:21

i don't want to go to my parents after i have left my partner because i know he will go to my parents house looking for me.

He's going to go there looking for you whether or not you actually go there or to a shelter. They're going to have to call the police on him regardless of whether or not you're there. So you may just as well go there and get it over with.

FanFuckingTastic · 29/12/2015 05:02

Hiya Clarkey.

I was in sort of a similar situation as yourself (I think) in that I got into an abusive relationship whilst my children were staying with their dads. I was made homeless, and I am disabled, so I figured that for a little while they would be better off living with their father (simplified version, there were other issues with my mental health and my daughter's behavioural issues).

In the last month or so of waiting to be kicked out the house properly (landlady did not know how to legally evict me, I couldn't leave before that or it would be voluntarily homeless and fuck you from the council) an old friend got in touch and was incredibly emotionally supportive (so thought I). In reality he was using my mental health issues to manipulate me and I guess in a way I was groomed at a very low point (doctor wanted me to either accept crisis care or hospital admission) and I ended up making some decisions that resulted in me being cut off from family and friends living with him.

This is all retrospective of course, at the time I felt like I was being saved. I was convinced my children were better off without me, to leave the private let before eviction was complete, effectively cutting off my retreat back to independent living, and that this was all my own idea and he was being super supportive in offering me a place to sleep and advice on how to do things.

The relationship became sexual almost straight away, and really I was being abused then too, I just either didn't know it, or was too scared to admit it. I won't go into the details of the abuse, it basically followed what I now know to be the classic pattern. I fought to see my kids, that was the one thing I always tried to stand up to, but it wasn't outright orders to not see them until near the end, it was more disguised as concern for my health (but not enough to accept certain aspects, like the existence of chronic pain and the need for medications).

Getting out was really hard. I had my mum come to get me, and left once. Then went back at Christmas-time, even when I knew he was abusive and manipulating me, because I felt guilty and he wore me down. I left a couple of days afterwards (yesterday would be two years since I left) and I went into hiding. Shut off my phone numbers, shut down facebook/Skype/Messenger/email, stopped seeing anyone we had in common, and was in touch with both Women's Aid and the police.

I thought it would be an easy case of leaving and I could get it all back to normal within a few months. But I am still living alone and having my children at weekends. My mental health carried me through the practical stuff, applying for benefits, seeing the council domestic abuse officer, registering for a property, sorting out a home, finances and bills, and getting my health care back on course.

But once that was all done I ended up crashing, the emotional implication of what had actually happened hit me and I felt all that guilt at avoiding responsibility at the beginning and allowing it to get to that point where my children were suffering for not seeing me. I'm still working my way out of that, not finding it so easy without mental health support, so it's slow going. It's taking me time to regain a bit of trust that I am fit and well, and not going to disappear again with both the children and their dads, and I suppose even with myself, because I've lost a lot of confidence in many things, including my ability to be a good parent.

So I guess what this massive long-winded post is saying is that leaving is just the beginning of getting away from an abusive relationship. Becoming physically safe, finding a place in a shelter or with family/friends, arranging finances, they are all just the first few steps in a longer journey. It may be that you are able to quite quickly get back to usual, or it could be a while. It's hard if your expectations don't match reality, and it's hard for anyone else to know exactly what you will cope with and at what time except yourself.

So most importantly, get yourself safe. See your children as much as is possible. Find as much support as you can, from safe places. Every little step is a step away from him and back towards yourself and your own future... I still make mistakes and get stuff wrong, but I am much happier now they are MY mistakes to make. I'm getting there, I hope you do too.

(This post took me a while to write, so I hope it's still relevant.)

MiscellaneousAssortment · 29/12/2015 08:12

Oh Fan Flowers

I hope you can see amidst the guilt and pain that you are doing an amazing thing.

Funny how the route back to 'normal' is so so hard, you have to be a hero to do it. Not funny ha ha though!

Good luck and all the good wishes in the world Fan.

BitOutOfPractice · 29/12/2015 09:35

Fan I feel sure you're going to make it I take my hat off to you

Op why do you keep repeating and repeating the same post again and again?

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 29/12/2015 09:40

Today's the day op

Have you got vital stuff together?

Mummytothree2016 · 29/12/2015 09:48

Pack your things. Leave. Don't go back.
It's easier said than done. But still a simple answer.
He clearly treats you like a doormat; and I'd be damned if my husband ever got angry at me for saying no to intimacy.
Even though I rarely do. If and when I do, He'd tremble at the thought of even muttering a disrespectful comment under his breath.
We are both 100/100. And treat each other deservingly.
You can do better than a "man" who disrespects you like that.

Move on girl-

Parker231 · 29/12/2015 09:49

OP - hopefully you will have by now left and are at Women's Aid, the police or your parents. I appreciate a lot is going on but you've been given a lot of useful suggestions on this site which I hope you will take on board.

PitPatKitKat · 29/12/2015 09:56

A lot of the OP's "odd" behaviour could be explained by being totally emotionally broken by an abusive partner.

Have had experience with emotionally browbeaten and neglected, frightened children. A common behaviour there was to keep repeating what they thought the other person wanted to hear to gain support, affection and approval.

Especially if that person was someone who was sometimes kind/supportive/loving and sometimes not. It's a desperate attempt to get on the "right" side of that person. It shows deep fear, insecurity, a desperate need for some kindness and acceptance.

Agree with PP who have mentioned how many attempts it takes a DV victim to leave, that she is scared and brainwashed and a shadow of a fully functioning person.

I've just RTFT and the past one. So, maybe this isn't real, maybe it is frustrating. But this is an internet forum, that's totally possible about anything you read on here. Not seeing how being browbeaten and repeatedly questionedis going to help someone who is already being browbeaten and emotionally broken though.

Re the dog, a (gay, male) friend of mine was bought 3 kittens by his partner, to cement a failing relationship. As relationship continued to fail, the partner turned (emotionally and physically) abusive, and one of his tricks was to threaten the pets, precisely to keep my friend in line, without having to raise a hand (although he raised a hand plenty other times). So this could be something the partner is deliberately and repeatedly holding over the OP. (The friend managed to escape when a former partner offered a safe place to live, his only real family had died. It took a lot of time and support to get him to do that, he only did it because he felt his former partner was someone he could trust physically and emotionally, so he wasn't jumping from the frying pan to the fire).

And yes, she could also be using the dog as an excuse not to leave, but it's just a mask for deep, deep fear and terror that she isn't strong enough to overcome yet, nothing else. The dog is an ostensible reason, doesn't mean there isn't a real one hiding behind it.

Her partner could be making (very real) threats regarding the OPs family. She could feel very trapped- if she goes to a refuge, he will turn on her parents/their children. It could feel like some horrible catch 22- can't take kids into safety of a refuge til she gets them back, can't get her kids back til she leaves him, can only leave him by going to refuge as no room at parent's.

So he is effectively holding her hostage by making threats to her parents and kids- she can get herself somewhere safe, but that will exposing her parent's kids, or she can think of her parents/kids and continue to expose herself to that danger. Being caught in the horns of that dilemma is another trigger for repetitive thinking. And again, it shows how manipulative and controlling he is to do that, how much of a hold he has on her. For all we know, he could be, as a PP's sister's partner was, someone who really is very dangerous.

He is also using shame as a very effective jailer for her. Maybe some of his controlling ways involve telling her how no-one will believe her, that she'll bring shame on her family, that people will just use her as a target if she is open about it etc. It is so pernicious and destructive. And when she is open about it on here, if people get frustrated and angry with her, it will (inadvertently) re-inforce what he has said to her- that is she is open about this, no-one will believe her and they will be horrible to her.

Shame could also be what keeps her from disclosing why she doesn't have her kids, and the attitudes she is experiencing from some posts are hardy likely to make her more likely to open up about it. It could be that he abused the kids, that SS suspect he abuses her too, that's why she cannot have them back whilst she is with him, that her parents do know he abuses her but are waiting for her to raise it. I'll repeat that again for the OP- YOUR PARENTS ALREADY KNOW, THEY ARE WAITING FOR YOU TO TELL THEM.

And the repetition could be a mantra- if she just keeps saying it over and over, some way out will come to her. People often go over things again and again and again when very distressed, especially if they feel impotent. Or, she will start to believe it and will find the strength to do it.

The OP could be so far into being controlled and emotionally broken that it is a huge thing for her to post on here, or chat to Women's Aid. It's a little green shoot that needs slow nurturing not scorn and ridicule, for an abusive partner will give her plenty of that already.

So, it's not beyond the realms of possibility that the OP has come here many times for support and kindness, to help build her confidence, get a chink of light in her life and build something inside herself that will help her leave eventually. But when people get frustrated and upset with her it sends her in a spin. She could just be looking for safety and acceptance to help her gather the strength to do what she needs to do. That needs to be consistently forthcoming if it is going to do any good, whatever the timescale.

Yes, this could be a hoax that wastes some time on the internet. Or it could be real and the person at the other side of the screen is someone who needs a lot of nurturing and coaxing to even be able to begin to find her own feet.

I think most people on Mumsnet know that the social support system isn't perfect, and that some people do really get caught between a rock and a hard place. Yes, help is there, but it's not comprehensive, it's not universally forthcoming or properly joined up. Most of all, it might take the OP time to trust that help, trust it enough to make the leap.

Just being a supportive voice might help the OP. Even if it takes a while.

So, OP, I hope that you do find help. I hope that you do find the courage to leave. I hope that you do build a new life and get your kids back. I know it can be difficult, I know it can be hard. Your are taking your first steps. Stay on that road, go as fast as you can. You will manage.

AyeAmarok · 29/12/2015 10:02

Clarkey2345 do you actually want to leave? Or do you actually quite like the "safety" of this relationship?

2015BeGone · 29/12/2015 10:05

Lovely post Pitpatkitkat Flowers

Mummytothree2016 · 29/12/2015 10:14

Sorry. But him "stopping" you from leaving, isn't a good enough excuse to not leave.

I have watched domestic violence with my sister for years. I would always end up in the centre he nearly killed her.
And when I wasn't there, he beat her to a pulp , and tried to throw her in front of a train. He was "lovely" at first. But then went absolutely crazy!

As nice as I can be. She said the same things you said. And to be honest; I think it's because you feel he has the potential to change. He doesn't, and you have to realise that.

My sister didn't walk away until her children were removed, and she had no other option by the courts. She is now 100 times stronger than she ever was, and has her baby back.

Take that leap of faith. In your case. The grass IS greener on the other side.

AnyFucker · 29/12/2015 10:16

Fan and PitPat those are some of the best posts I have seen on MN.

Even if the op is not able to get strength from them, someone somewhere, will.

FanFuckingTastic · 29/12/2015 10:28

Thanks AnyFucker. To be honest, a lot of the learning I've done has come from Mumsnet, and you are a very frequent name I see offering great advice. (I often look for it, tbh).

I always figure that enough kindness and support even if it's not actually helping the original poster (for many reasons, including trolling or people just not in the right place) will reach someone who needs it. Indeed that is where a lot of my own insights have come from.

Bubblesinthesummer · 29/12/2015 10:38

Everyone has a tipping point.

For my brother if was being knocked unconscious in front of his children and having bones broken by his exW

Before this they had not witnessed it and bruises etc that he had could be explained away as he was in a job where he could have got them iyswim.

He knew then that was it.

He has custody of the DC and his exW only has limited indirect contact.

I hope the OP does find the strength to leave.

It isn't straight forward for her though as it seems that the DC weren't removed because of the partner or DV so it won't be an easy path to get them back.

pocketsaviour · 29/12/2015 10:44

Amazing posts from Fan and Pitpat Star

Perniciousness · 29/12/2015 11:36

In some ways the best outcome would have be of this thread was a hoax Sad but I hope, if it's not that the OP can feel that she does have support and understanding from many MN'ers. I bet there isn't a single poster including the unpleasant ones that don't want you to leave your 'partner'

Fan and Pitpat both your posts are so thoughtful and well written. Flowers

Parker231 · 29/12/2015 11:49

Unfortunately I think that the OP will stop posting on this thread but open a similar one in a few days time.

Swipe left for the next trending thread