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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Abusive relationship

156 replies

Clarkey2345 · 02/12/2015 23:15

I am in a mentally abusive relationship and can't leave because my partner has threatened to hurt me and my family should i leave the relationship.

OP posts:
lavent · 11/12/2015 13:53

Not sure exactly where you are but try and Google and see if there are any independent domestic abuse services locally. The refuge I stayed in and the support worker I have are not from Women's Aid but a service run by a housing association (though they have links to women's aid).
So many "impossible" things magically become possible when you have a support worker fighting your corner.

Jux · 11/12/2015 18:34

I second that about impossible things becoming possible when you have someone to help. That's why so many abusers put a lot of effort into isolating their victims first. It makes all the other ghastly things they do so much easier if their victim has no one to talk to, so they become crushed and find decision making and action without permission so hard.

Clarkey, concentrate on finding rl support for yourself. Once you have that in place everything else will become easier.

So, with that in kind (and not wanting to nag or bully you!) see if there is some way you can deal with his calls while also attending Freedom meetings. Maybe you could just excuse yourself and take the call outside the room? I'm quite sure that they won't mind and that once they see how many times he calls, they will come up with another solution or two.

Just try to get real life help, just one person who knows what they're doing, someone froma specialised agency, WA, police DV, Freedom Programme, gp.

Actually, have you thought about your gp? You could tell h you've been feeling sick, or had a bad headache/migraines for days and want to see a doctor. Then go and tell the gp everything. If you find it hard to actually say it out loud, take a written record - that you're being abused physically, emotionally and financially, are almost a prisoner, cannot go out without permission etc, that you need help to get away, that their are cats and dogs which will need removal too, that he threatens violence towards you and your family and you need protection - and just hand it to your gp.

Clarkey, I really don't want to bully you more than he is doing. I beg you to get rl help.

misskeyboardwarrior · 11/12/2015 19:40

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lavent · 11/12/2015 20:37

Just to say on the freedom program I attend it is totally fine to leave the room and take any calls you need to to stay safe. This happens all the time and no one bats an eyelid. So please don't worry about that!
It's a rolling program usually so you should be able to start whenever x

Clarkey2345 · 14/12/2015 21:03

Hi lavent they said i cannot get a support worker so will ring them again tomorrow and have another chat with them.

OP posts:
Nottodaythankyouorever · 28/12/2015 20:30

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