What do you think about men in their 40's?

[WhiteSwan1]

I'm just asking myself, what is it with men in their 40's or is it just me? I've just come back from my BF's (I'm 39, he's mid 40's) and really have a feeling of him not being sure of what he wants in the future (apart from seeing me as someone fairly interesting and attractive to spend some time with) after seeing me for 18 months.

I recently had a message from ExH (mid 40's) reminding me of how long ago we met and I wonderfully came in to his life (he is now seeing someone else from 5 months after we split up and is still with her).
I have another friend (mid 40's) who has admitted he is cheating on his DW.
I have another male friend (mid 40's) who can't commit to a relationship with any woman and is acting like he's 20 going out with multiple women.
I guess it's just my age and who I know but I just wondered if some men in their 40's go through a stage when they just don't know what they're doing? Any male responses are also appreciated.

Totally understand...! Of course you would look. Who wouldn't ?!!

Mmm...interesting thread,

I hadn't really thought about it but I walk through my town on a Sunday morning to go and do my hobby. I notice a group of 40 year old blokes stood in a group with bikes. Only ever one woman or maybe two and no young men.

I am a man and started my hobby in my 40s. I think that men have to make peace with themselves in their 40s. Declining health, declining/stalled career, declining manhood. You make peace with yourself by accepting what you are, looking at life with wisdom and deciding to enjoy life, enjoy your partner, enjoy your children. That's why men take up cycling, restoring classic cars, taking on an allotment, or spending more time in their shed. Its part of sitting back and taking the foot off the 'breadwinner' accelerator pedal.

The problem is that sometimes their life partner is a woman who put her life on hold with children and she wants to get out there and make the most of what is left. She doesn't necessarily want to be with man who wants to sit back a little and spend more time with his bike, car, allotment or shed.

I think women have a MLC at the same time as men. In their early 40s women first of all have to accept they will not have a(nother) child, accepting they wont perhaps get back to that career they once had. I know my wife struggled with that. We have a strong relationship and I would like to find a new challenge for both of us to enjoy together.

People did complain about milli vanilli - was a total scandal on top if the pops due to indecency

My theory is that a lot of men in their 40s feel they were "rushed" into marriage and kids in their late 20s/early 30s by their partner's biological clock, and feel a bit resentful about missing out on 10-15 years of single life and try to relive it in their 40 s.

well they're idiots then!

No one forced them to get married and have children.

Yes that's what my ex said. He resented his family because he couldn't have the fun he thought he deserved. Stupid tit.

No one nailed their fucking feet to the floor!

My ex was the one who pushed for marriage and children, not me, so I should be the one to have the MLC with that theory.

Thinking about this and I think that there is a bit of a "Everyone else is doing it...." with some people.

Everyone else is a young single shagging around. So they do that.
Everyone else is getting married and having kids. so they do that.
Everyone else is leaving their wife and kids and shagging a 20 year old. So they do that.

www.telegraph.co.uk/men/active/recreational-cycling/10900074/Commuter-cyclists-do-you-really-need-to-wear-Lycra.html

Sure, no one "forced" them per se, but a lot of men do feel pressurised into marrying/having kids earlier than they might otherwise want to. Which in turn leads to the resentment and the so-called mlc in their 40s.

Pressurised by whom exactly?

I've never proposed to a man. I've been proposed to by three men. My husband proposed to me four times before I accepted.

Also, I don't have biological clock ticking. If I'd never had children, that would have been fine by me. It was the fathers of both children who brought it up and made the case for it. It was me who relented not them.

Not sure exactly who was pressuring them.

And they both cheated on me.

They can still say no!

I make no apologies for thinking that a man who agrees to marriage and kids when he doesnt really want them, then treats the wife and kids like shite later on, is a spineless cunt.

Well, yes. ^^ And also, this "ooh, I'm not really ready" for men in their early 30s..so, when are you ready to marry and have kids? 40? 50? When you are too old to pick your kids up? Life is about compromise, often. Women compromise when they marry and have kids too.
This is what I mean about being honest. If you don't want to marry someone and have kids, then don't, but say that. And if you choose to, then own it.
For the record, mens sperm gets more rubbish as they age too, and maybe 48 is not the ideal time for them to be spawning. Men need to understand, like women have for ever, that actual, they can't have it all. Shocker.

My ex was already into his cycling, but during his MLC he has taken up skateboarding.

oh, mother of god. i had an ex who took up skateboarding at 42. fucking idiot.

The only man who can get away with skateboarding in middle age is Tony Hawk and thats only because he managed to be a millionaire on the back of it.

Baroness he's 42 as well.
He was wearing knee and elbow pads as well as a helmet probably just as well as he could barely balance.

Tony Hawk he aint

It was 20 years ago when i was 40 and I've forgotten if i had a mid life crises then or even since. I like a lot of things, must get aroundtuit when i get a moment or two but till then -- it'll keep!

longdays when my ex started up the skateboarding, i warned him that everyone would think he's a paedophile.
he was undeterred.

i left eventually.
not because of the skateboarding.
there were other more heinous grievances that forced me out.
god, he was a tool.
well rid, i am.

Me too baroness, me too.

longdays when my ex started up the skateboarding, i warned him that everyone would think he's a paedophile. he was undeterred

Oh Baroness I know it's wrong but that made me proper lol.

haha If - no worries.
it was all rather pathetic but with distance, i can see it for laughs now.
i really did bring these things on myself.
lord help me.