Brave Babes - Wrapping up for a Wonderful Winter

[venusandmars]

Hi, I am venusandmars and I've been on these threads for many years.

It can be tough at this time of year when the adverts are full of families cheerfully opening bottles of wine and good cheer, when work parties are alcohol fuelled, when distant friends call round with a bottle in hand.

Maybe you're trying to cut down a little in the pre-Christmas weeks, maybe you are struggling to know how to continue with a longer period of abstinence, maybe you are waking up after a Christmas Party feeling sick and covered in shame (or even feeling shame and covered in sick).

Whatever, whenever, if you want to stop, or cut down, or simply share your struggle with others who also feel the tug..... please join us.

Usually our lovely mouseface opens these threads, but the poor mouse is sick in hospital and so I am overcoming the technophobia that a 50-something feels.... (well done me ). Our last thread is here if you want to read the last few posts

And if you want to read the story from the beginning (you'll need a few weeks) HERE is where it all started when Jesuswhatnext posted in May 2010.

Welcome one and all x

I've got 6 kids under 5 at mine this morning & DH has gone away on business for week . So send the poor love over here South, another one won't make a difference!

Like you, v grateful to not be hungover this morning.

south your poor little one, croup is nasty. I strongly second (third after margie) being so relieved to not be drunk/hungover when my baby needs me at night/this morning.

margie I find it's usually this point during a period off drink that I get the 'regrets' really strongly. Replaying all the idiotic, embarrassing, foolish things I've done drunk over the years - I think it's all part of coming to terms with it. Think it's best to accept that there's some things we cannot change and instead focusing on not adding to them in the future.

Last night I battled through yet another craving - saw it off by making cheese straws for my dd's snacks this week. Cooking seems to help me a at week moments.

Thanks Claret, good to know it's normal to be looking back and regretting at this stage. But you're right, nothing I can do about it now so it's a bit of a pointless exercise.

Last night I watched 3 episodes of Homeland series 5 and I can actually remember them this morning!

Anyone else see the end of DJ approaching and worried about how to keep the motivation going? My natural instinct would be to reach for a drink to congratulate myself on one month sober...

Morning all. Don't envy anyone a house full of kids.....all of mine plus dh are elsewhere today so a blissful coffee in bed on peace at the moment.
I'm so impressed with all the DJ ers. I usually manage a week or two but this year haven't managed a single day. For me its the fear of total abstinence I think that sets me a challenge I can't overcome. However I have always been a regular drinker rather than a binge drinker. So "allowing" myself to have a glass or two a night seems to be making me not really want it, if that makes sense? It is ridiculous. Some nights I pour it and don't really want it, almost forcing myself to drink some. It's as if I have to tick that box, and then I don't bother finishing the glass. Regular readers will know this is a new thing for me and for the life of meI don't know what has brought about the change, but it is resulting in reduced intake and that's the main thing.

ma when you posted this yesterday: Off to bed. One glass of wine and didn't finish it. This is weird. Wonder if its the anti biotics I am on??? I immediately thought - ah yes, that sounds like a severe case of BEING A NORMAL DRINKER . Because yes, that is what people do - pour themselves a glass, and then only drink as much as they actually want.

I don't think it matters whether you have had nights completely without alcohol - you are finding a way that is working for you at the moment, and that's brilliant. So enjoy it and whatever you do, DON'T beat yourself up about it.

ma it might be 'mindful' drinking. You've become more conscious of every sip rather than slugging it down without a thought?

I remember similar happened to me. That's when I began to see that I could moderate. I chucked the odd AF day in here and there and found that I could do that too.

The AF days gradually grew and now I'm sailing through DJ with no desire to drink at all. Maybe try taking two days a week off and see how that goes? Make it part of your routine to have/do something different on those two days. A sort of 5:2 for drinkers

Margie I'm thinking of carrying on through February as we will have lent so I might as well do the whole month. But not really thinking about that too much right now.

Rac are you still with us? How are all the other DJ babes getting on?

Hi babes,

I have been reading but it's been a busy week so not had much time to post.

I went to yoga yesterday, an hour and a half of yoga after getting dd2 up, fed and delivered to the gym crèche. After I took the wee one swimming (during which she was naughty) and I spent the rest of the day feeling very emotional!!! I also scrubbed the entrance to our flat, bleached the bathroom, baked cookies with dd2 and dealt with several hormental moments with dd1 declaring she looked "fat" (5ft 8 and a size 8) in her dress for a party.

I don't know if the yoga released some weird emotions or I was just shattered but I felt in the verge of tears the whole day and evening and was in bed by 10, thank god as dd2 got up at 6.50 this morning!!

My wee one doesn't go to sleep til late, usually after 10 every night so every evening is a bit of a battleground trying to get her to go to bed and dd1 is doing prelims so I guess sometimes I just feel swamped by it all. I guess it's times like this I miss the commercial illusion of that large glass of white/red to chillax, sometimes I feel so stressed and like I'm always the fixer, never the fixed...

Sometimes sobriety is tough but it can't be any tougher than doing all of the above feeling, sick, anxious, shaky and hungover so for that I'm grateful, (ish)...

Lots of hugs for all you wonderful, brave babes xxx

ma it does sound like you're drinking like a normo. I remember a time when I could do the same.

I am not sure about the end of the month. I might be out the day before at a friend's catching up and I've given myself permission to drink there if I feel like it. So we'll see. But I am 100% happy right now with my alcohol intake (none!).

Last night was grand. He actually slept well after a puff or two of his inhaler. Poor love. We slept together in a freezing room (cold air helps) all wrapped up in the big duvet. We didn't get woken until 8.15 by Miss Middle which was lovely. So not as awful as I imagined!

Thanks for your support.

Love all of yous.

Hey south you are doing so so well, the change in your from your first post is bloody amazing!!! I'm so sorry your little one is poorly, croup is horrid, so glad you both had a better night and hope he is on the mend today xxx

Ma - I don't have any because I didn't think I needed any. I wasn't offered any. It was cut and dry.... I was hit buy this man, in his Land Rover twice, and he drove off. He was interviewed 'under caution' but I have no idea what for as the PC refused to disclose that information.....

I'm in bits but have had lots of support tonight by making calls and talking to police officers that I know.

DH has gone mental, as have my family.

Last night I spoke to a Duty Inspector who said that he's get one of his Sergeants to call me to arrange to come and see me today. Yet AGAIN, I feel as though I'm being let down as I doubt anyone will call now.

I just feel like the first PC has really fucked up my chances of justice by not taking this as an assault, but as some sort of spat between me and this bloke who decided to run me over, twice with his fucking huge car!

I just feel utterly helpless.........................

You are not helpless mouse. Tell the Sergeant you wish to prosecute. Your home insurance should have an element of legal support costs. Ours does. You have photographic evidence of your injuries, and the hospital records will back that up. The boy who was working g with the guy who hit you is a key witness. You are not making this up and you have redress.

It won't be the victim's call, to prosecute or not. That's the American way.

I would still push and push and push this. Take it to your MP, as I said before. Just his office calling the police would have them reviewing the file in no time. Trust me.

Also, home insurance supporting legal expenses would be useful if you were of the mind to pursue a civil claim against him. Which is not such a bad idea, but stressful. Maybe you could just look into getting a restraining order - these come, usually, with an enforceable power of arrest attached to it. So, if granted and he comes near you again - bingo, he's arrested.

I am so sorry you're going through this ma.

You seems a thoroughly loyal and lovely woman with enough to be worrying about.

babyjane thank you so much for your post. I really have changed, I feel it. I don't know if I'll be abstinent forever, but for today I will be...well, this hour!

I've just spoken to the Chief Inspector in another division who has basically asked what I want.

I told him that I want this scumbag re-interviewed under caution as the incident being an assault, not a RTC.

That's where I'm up to.

Will keep you posted.

Sorry that I can't do better xx

Morning all.

I have been asleep for most of the weekend after a bout of rhinitis, I get it sometimes when the air pressure drops or rises dramatically. So, it's back to work but with nothing achieved over the weekend 🙁

Love and strength to all.

Stil here and reading all your posts .

Day 11 here . I had some bubbly on Sat night ( planned ) , enjoyed it very much but boy did i notice it Sunday morning .
Sunday's I normally have sherry while I'm ironing and wine with dinner but got back on board and actually didn't find it too difficult .
I am determined to break this habit of routinely drinking every evening .

I have a date Wed eve and shall have a glass then

Looking forward to a week of quality time in the evenings and more amazing bedtime stories .... I'm actually enjoying them !
When I think about wanting a drink I just remind myself that that thought will only last a minute max and it does .. Working so far x

Off to London today. First class on train so have already had a huge breakfast and gallons of coffee! This is the way to go

Have a lovely time in London, Ma

You're doing well, Tink. You're right, that pleasure is so fleeting.

Why do I give this up so easily when I love it so much?

^^ This! Thanks Beaches. That's so true. I love not drinking so much, and I hate myself so much when I do drink. Why on earth do I ever, ever, think it's OK to drink and fill myself with self loathing? It's just not worth it. At the moment I can't imagine ever drinking again.

It's madness isn't it Whistle? And yet that nagging little voice still manages to give us a false account of how it would/could be. I love that you can't imagine drinking again, keep going babe and stay focused on all the benefits

I am drinking tea and visualizing waking up in the morning feeling relief.

Night babes xx

Hi babes, all ok here - end of January looming so lots of thinking about life post dj.
I have 3 evenings out in February so thinking of moderating on those nights and staying af the rest of the time which may be easier said than done. ODAAT I guess.

sweet hope you feel better, ma hope you had a good trip to London.

Morning All.

Another busy working week, and it is so much easier without the permanent hangover.

Whistle, Beaches I'm with you, I much prefer the AF me, but I find it so hard to resist the seductive whisper of the wine witch, "You can have just one, it'll be fine". I'm holding on to "No one ever regretted NOT drinking" (was that MIFLAW? or the Venerable Venus?).

Claret I'm weighing up the effort it would take to moderate in Feb, and there just isn't enough space in my little brain at the moment. It's easier not to have to make the choice.

And just to put it into perspective, my app says I have NOT drunk 152 glasses of wine (to be honest, probably an underestimate), Saved £305 (ditto), and saved 18433 calories (not entirely true because of the amount of chocolate I have substituted).

Have a god day everyone, Small, Ma, Mouse, Faire, Margie, Tink, Isinde, Anne, Baby, Venus, South, Spanna, Pop and any and every other babe, struggling, moderating, AF, you ROCK.

Morning Everyone

It's 301 Days today that's a saving of £2800 that I haven't spent on vino colapso, 25 cases I've not consumed. Amazing really!!!

My one wish is that I'd stashed the money. I've got to rush late for work but wanted to share my news. Can we have a party on the bus tonight?

Special squeeze to you Beaches

Hugs and love to you all, if it wasn't for you brave babes I'd never have achieved this milestone

Have a good day everyone ODAAT xxxx

Wow spanna wow!!!!

Spanna that's amazing - you are an absolute inspiration to us all. Truly well done to you, and thank you for all your support, kindness and wisdom along the way.

Spanna, huge well done on 301 days AF xx