Brave Babes - Wrapping up for a Wonderful Winter

[venusandmars]

Hi, I am venusandmars and I've been on these threads for many years.

It can be tough at this time of year when the adverts are full of families cheerfully opening bottles of wine and good cheer, when work parties are alcohol fuelled, when distant friends call round with a bottle in hand.

Maybe you're trying to cut down a little in the pre-Christmas weeks, maybe you are struggling to know how to continue with a longer period of abstinence, maybe you are waking up after a Christmas Party feeling sick and covered in shame (or even feeling shame and covered in sick).

Whatever, whenever, if you want to stop, or cut down, or simply share your struggle with others who also feel the tug..... please join us.

Usually our lovely mouseface opens these threads, but the poor mouse is sick in hospital and so I am overcoming the technophobia that a 50-something feels.... (well done me ). Our last thread is here if you want to read the last few posts

And if you want to read the story from the beginning (you'll need a few weeks) HERE is where it all started when Jesuswhatnext posted in May 2010.

Welcome one and all x

Underlying? I meant udderly smooth, not underlying smooth damn auto correct

beaches hang in there
faire we want photos of the footner thingy

I've taken it off now ma but it was quite nice. It's like a big plastic sock with a cold liquid inside. Pleasantly squishy if you like that sort of thing. Results are supposed to happen over the next 7 days. Will let you know how it goes.

'Pleasantly squishy' Faire? Mmm - yes, keep us posted. Sounds fab!

Beaches hugs to you hon. I could have written your post. I feel every fibre of that pain, disappointment and renewed resolve. You got to day 13, and you've got to day 3. Both are awesome. ODAAT.

A small milestone for me...first time I've ever de-nitted two small and squalling children whilst sober. Unlike most other things, this is not an experience that was improved by sobriety.

How were the films, Sweet? Love the sound of your job
x

Blocks I've failed. Sitting here nursing my 2nd glass of red wine - I don't even like red much. Have a cold, a full on day at work which included visitor who needed ,"hand- holding" for 2 hours, the weekly shop, a shifty evening meeting with people with too much spare time on their hands, then home at 9.30 to bake a birthday cake for tomorrow ( which is probably burning as I type) and the fuck- it button was well and truly pressed

Should have proofread, sorry for the mistakes - I had a shitty meeting, it wasn't very shifty at all
Had my 2nd glass now going to bed. I know I'll be furious with myself in the morning. So how to cope with the biggest trigger - the day from hell?

No point in beating yourself up anne it is done, forgive yourself in the morning and go again I quite liked the idea of a shifty meeting, in a back room full of smoke and knowing looks

Thanks for the support Ma and Small , it is such a relief to be able to jump back on board with people who understand.

Night babes, sleep well xx

I love shifty meetings. They are my favourite ones.
Today starts with a blood test and then a mammogram.... then deling with idiots who can't read emails ( I send an email saying ...so please present at XYZ venue at this time on this date, so that they can reply and ask where they are supposed to be at what time and how do they get there?). Day will end with a takeaway as I am sick of cooking evening meals. Happy Friday!

Anne you have not failed. Just take that one day and stick it on the end of January. You can still do your 31 days

How to cope with triggers? Maybe print off your post and read it to see that drinking does not make you happy. Find something else to ease the burden. Ma's idea of a takeaway is excellent. One less job to do, give yourself a break x

Anne, you have not failed. The road is long and we're all going to hit the odd speed bump. I don't know what I would have done in your shitty/shifty day situation - TBH I probably would have done the same as you.

Don't know if it will help you but I'm doing what a wise babe recommended a while back and keeping a calendar. The days I don't drink I mark in green and the days I drink I mark in red. To me it works better than having to count from day one again because you get to see that as a whole your month has probably been a triumph and there's just that one little red day that got the better of you. But it's like a tiny insignificant dot in a field of green!

Big hugs to you and all other babes.

Hello all, sorry I've been so long without checking in.
I'm still here, still on the bus - I'm thinking in weeks rather than days now which is a good thing. Coming up to 3 on Sunday!

Evening, tis me, Mouse.

THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH FOR YOUR KIND WORDS AND SUPPORT EVEN THOUGH YOU'VE ALL GOT YOUR OWN BATTLES TO FIGHT

Welcome to all the lovely or returning new babes :)

Margie - I have no back story with this guy.... he's been to the house once before in the summer when DD was on her own, saying that he'd been sent to do some work on the house, which was not the case.

Anyway, he's always been a bit shifty looking and made me feel uneasy. He's always caused problems with parking near to my driveway, and being disabled has meant that I've also struggled to get me car parked in the available spaces anyway outside the house....

I'd occasionally leave a traffic cone on the rear, drivers side of my car to warn others it was there, as we live on a very busy main road, and at night, the lighting is poor, so judging the distance between where the cars are parked can be difficult and ALL of the neighbour's cars have been damaged due to this.

Anyway, I'm sure you'll have read what happened to me and the police officer involved has been as much use as a chocolate fireguard.

After being deliberately run over twice, the driver failing to stop, my clothing been torn off me and my car being smashed at the back, being hopitalised for two days, being put on sleeping tablets, having physio to correct my injuries, the officer involved has finally answered my call to tell me that NO FURTHER ACTION WILL BE TAKEN AGAINST THE DRIVER!!!

Now, let's see what he could have been charged with -

1. • Leaving the scene of a crime
2. • Failing to report a crime/RTC etc
3. • Actual bodily harm
4. • Intent to cause bodily harm
5. • Attempted murder.

Those are just off the top of my head from when I first spoke to the police who atteneded the scene - not the same officer - and they were pretty shocked at what they saw.

Let's not also forget that I had an independent witness, unlike he did.

I have just poured a very large drink. I'm so, so, sorry to let you all down but this man has left me broken and in limbo for the last 7 weeks......

I constantly live in fear of seeing him again. We had CCTV put in and extra security lights. Why would we do that if he was innocent and this was all made up? Because that's how the police have left me feeling.

The traffic police have said it's one word against another regardless of the photographic evidence and witnesses I have. Only one gave a statement. A lot of people saw it happen as it was the end of the school day and our school is just up the road......

I'm scared, scarred and I don't know what to do. What can I do? I want justice and compensation. And to cry.

mouse there is no way he cant be charged. He committed a criminal offence. What are your legal people saying?

Did you all go somewhere and not tell me????

mouse I don't know what to say other than to second what others have said about contacting MP, CAB etc. I do hope it manages to get sorted for you.

isinde, anne pick yourselves up, dust yourselves off and ODAAT. You can do it.

Here, I've had a few wobbles the past few days - last night was particularly nasty but nothing as bad as the first few days.

Yesterday I had a super busy baby filled day and was tired and hungry when I got home at 6 - prime wine time. Managed to fight it, phew.

I'm 5lb down since beginning of January, happy with that - aiming for 7lb down by end of the month.

Happy Saturday babes

mouse (((hugs))) to you, it all sounds so unfair . Have you considered the independent police body (sorry can't remember their formal title), I know Spanna mentioned them and it seemed a good idea to me.

Spanna how are you flower? Loved you beautiful beach photo.

Glad to see you back isinde, keep clocking up the green days - January must be more green than red which is awesome

small are you fox or Small? I can't seem to remember which you prefer

Well done on avoiding the WW last night claret and also on the 5Lbs.

I am hanging in there and feeling the benefits of deep sleep and refreshed mornings. Why do I give this up so easily when I love it so much? I have also found a book to absorb me; Accidents of Marriage by Randy Susan Meyers, it's no war and peace but I like the it . Other than that, I made some cranberry and choc chip oatmeal cookies and have already eaten 4, probably best to avoid my weighing scales this week.

Love to you all xx

Beaches can you pop one of those cookies in the post to me? They sound yum.

Mouse, don't give up hon, you will get justice and be able to live without fear of this man. I'm honestly in shock at the police's attitude but there seem to be many ways that you can take this complaint further. You can do it, we are all behind you .

I've been feeling a bit glum this morning - period due and going through a bit of a crap time with DH. I was also thinking about all the hungover Saturday mornings in my life, all the Friday nights (or any night) that I can't remember - I regret it all so much but obviously I can't change any of it. It makes me cringe to remember having to piece together evenings the following morning because I had no idea what had happened, to have to ring round my friends apologizing when I had no real idea what I was apologizing for, to walk down the street and feel totally paranoid that everyone was staring at me and talking about me. One day my DCs might ask me what I did on the Millenium and I'm going to have to lie, because I don't remember it, I was told I was passed out in a horse box before midnight! Dunno, just makes me really sad that I can't go back and fix things.

But anyway, I've thrown out two bags of clothes that are too small for my DCs this morning which feels quite cathartic. And I'm not hungover which is good and I'm not planning on drinking today. Big love to all Babes.

Waves to all the babes. Margie keep chucking stuff out. It's cathartic. Make dh the next thing!
indie I'm OK. Well, a bit meh but nothing desperate. One beer last night. Got friend coming round for dinner tonight, dh and Ds in Liverpool for the footie so got some peace. Had takeaway and chocolate last night, and have already had a bacon roll, a fried egg roll and more chocolate. This is not going to be a slimming weekend, is it?

indie promise will get down to see you this year at some point.

If I still lived in Liverpool I'd have more than just ale to worry about!!

Still Dry. The last couple of nights have been very difficult with the cravings. But I am so proud to have ignored them and ridden them out.

It's hard and I am eating chocolate bars like they're going out of fashion!

Ma, make DH the next thing I chuck out - made me laugh out loud!!!

Off to bed. One glass of wine and didn't finish it. This is weird. Wonder if its the anti biotics I am on???

Glad you're laughing margie!

ma - pleased to see moderating is really working for you for now. Well done. I could NOT stop at one...and herein lies the problem!

However, this evening the craving passed with a cup of tea seeing it on its way...

And boy I am grateful. My littlest is up with a scary bout of croup. No husband to share the burden with and I am thankful to all the gods that I haven't had my usual bottle/two this particular Sat night. Honestly, I am so grateful for my sobriety right now.

Poor little mite. It's going to be a long one...! Can someone come and get them in the morning for me so I can catch up on the sleep I know I'm not going to have!

Keep strong to all x