Brave Babes - Wrapping up for a Wonderful Winter

[venusandmars]

Hi, I am venusandmars and I've been on these threads for many years.

It can be tough at this time of year when the adverts are full of families cheerfully opening bottles of wine and good cheer, when work parties are alcohol fuelled, when distant friends call round with a bottle in hand.

Maybe you're trying to cut down a little in the pre-Christmas weeks, maybe you are struggling to know how to continue with a longer period of abstinence, maybe you are waking up after a Christmas Party feeling sick and covered in shame (or even feeling shame and covered in sick).

Whatever, whenever, if you want to stop, or cut down, or simply share your struggle with others who also feel the tug..... please join us.

Usually our lovely mouseface opens these threads, but the poor mouse is sick in hospital and so I am overcoming the technophobia that a 50-something feels.... (well done me ). Our last thread is here if you want to read the last few posts

And if you want to read the story from the beginning (you'll need a few weeks) HERE is where it all started when Jesuswhatnext posted in May 2010.

Welcome one and all x

isinde that sounds like a lovely meal, glad you enjoyed yourself, wouldn't it be great if sober/low alcohol events were more common place (although they might be but in the past I just choose to make them boozy )

Pop I do hope you feel better. Maybe try and get an early night, I definitely have felt like my body is needing sleep to recoup.

well done on the running whistle - i need to get myself back on the exercise wagon, i used to love it but since having my DD have lost my mojo.

I’m feeling good, had a lovely night last night watching Saving Mr Banks (a real heart warmer) and doing a bit of my adult colouring book. I was still awake when DH got home and had a full, sober, enjoyable conversation with him. This is quite the change to the norm whereby I am either in bed or keep quiet in case I slur. Even in this short time of sobriety I have noticed marked improvements in my relationship with him - I am so much nicer without drink!

Hope everyone is ok, thats Monday almost done.

Watching all the Bowie stuff on telly with a tonic. Got a surprise period today ( sorry if tmi) 20 days after the last one. Explains feeling crap. Peri menopause them ladies? Although did have polyp removed a couple of months ago and wonder if have another. GP? Hope everyone is ok.

Then ladies. Not them ladies.

Might be worth checking with gp pop.

Claret I love that film.

Mouse are you with us still? Hope you're recovering from your injuries. Any news from the police?

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Faire - I'm here. NOPE, zero feckin news from the police. I have chased them over and over. I'm sick of it. They called it an RTC - Road Traffic Collision.

Well, how the Jeff can that be when I was deliberately run over twice by a 4x4? OUTSIDE of my car?! I was run over, left for dead and they still haven't done anything.

I'll be back soon..... life's just a bit tough right now xxx

Morning All.

Mouse, much love to you, I hope you have a resolution soon.

Isinde, it's weird isn't it, getting craving for something you don't drink. Well done for resisting - it's day 12, you should give yourself a treat.

Pop, definitely GP time.

I had a busy but successful day, didn't get home until late, and by the time I sat down after dinner and dog walk, I'd forgotten to think about not drinking all day , I hope I can say the same today - although I have parents evening, so I imagine it will be a little more frazzled by the time I get home!

isinde isn't the mind a powerful thing, well done for pushing through it. You made it to Day 12!

I was up for 2hrs with my dd in the night and my husband slept through it (after NYE I can hardly complain), I was fine though - much more patient and alert than if I'd had a drink. And not totally exhausted this morning which I normally would be when she doesn't sleep.

Last night was my first night where I didn't have to noticeably battle the ww. I think I have to be mindful of complacency though - 'oh one drink won't do any harm' etc.

Having said that I don't necessarily think this is it for ever but I'd like to note a marked decrease this year from 2015.

Have a good Tuesday babes

Claret It really is good to deal with a middle of the night waking without being still half cut and half hungover. Urgh, disgusting, when you think about it.

I don't know how long this abstinence will last for me, but I am pretty sure that I can't drink in moderation any longer. I'm a mess when I begin.

pop I hope you start to feel better soon. If it's just a withdrawal thing, then you will. If it's a poorly sickness thing, then it would be even worse with drink in you. Know that.

indie and ma well done to you guys. Keep ignoring that wine witch, or gin witch. Just ignore the bitch.

mouse If you feel you are getting nowhere with the police, who are meant to be working with you, for you and liaising with you throughout, then I would find out when your local MP's surgery is and go see him/her with all the deets about your case set out in a clear and concise document. Give him/her the contact details of the police officer you've been dealing with and he will put a rocket up them, trust me. Do this today.

sweet well done on your busy and productive day.

I need to get a CV out - I've been out of the game for 7 years (children) and can't actually remember how to do a CV!! Have things changed?!! Help!

Oh, on the drinking front, not thought about it as was busy tidying and doing ironing etc last night so was upstairs, which is a non-drinking area, so I don't relate being there with drinking, IYSWIM? And we have a house full of booze after our party!

Terrible news from the school yesterday, a lovely lady I knew to say good morning to, was killed in a freak accident at her home on Sunday. She got out of her car, apparently, to shut the gate. Forgot to put the handbrake on and the car started to roll. She got behind it to try and stop it from rolling into a dangerous main road, and she was killed. She has two primary school-aged children and a husband. She's just gone. Plucked out of this life, like a flower from a field.

It's very, very sad. And very disconcerting. Life is too short, sometimes ridiculously so. I want to really live it, in full techni-colour. Not in a booze fueled soft-filter style haze...

Sobriety helps me be a better person, friend, mother, wife. I don't know if I want to give that up.

Booze promises me good times, but rarely these days delivers on that promise and even if it did - it wouldn't be worth the following 2/3 days.

Sorry, I've brought you down.

Anyway, can anyone help with the CV sitch?!

Isinde I'm the parent this evening!! I'm already preparing myself for the "DS is bright, but lazy" talks; fortunately, my students are all adults (allegedly) so I'm not allowed to talk to their parents .

South, I think the role of the CV has changed somewhat over the last couple of year because of networking sites like Linkedin, and online applications. They tend to be much briefer now, and often 'skills based' - but it very much depends on the sort of jobs you are applying for. This is a helpful starting pointThe Guardian
and I also get students to look at this National Careers Service if they are stuck.

Hope that helps.

Hi babes,

Been really busy but the highlight of my day is having a coffee while catching up with all your posts and seeing the transformation in all if you is a privilege to be part of. I do actually think of all of you and will you strength at various points in my day, my affection and respect is very real and as I've walked the walk so many times I can honestly say the first few weeks are the hardest, it's the habit breaking part that's the biggest adjustment, then the dangerous zone that most of you are entering when I felt better, had been forgiven for whatever shite and hurt I'd caused, proven to myself I wasn't alcohol dependant so surely I could have the odd glass, for me that was my biggest mistake, complacency is the enemy, before I knew it I was back in shame corner, the crepey skin, nausea, thumping head and the worst thing I've ever experienced is the disappointment, confusion and pain in the eyes of my girls, my parents and my dh. My eldest girl once asked me "why is loving us not enough to make you happy" it broke my heart!!! Still does. My own drinking is entangled with my bipolar so when i drink, it's for days, at horrendous levels with devastating consequences BUT every relapse begins with "I'm better now, I can have a few". All I want you lovely brave gals to do is before you think your "cured" read your first posts and be sure that your prepared to go through that again, because you probably will!!!

I promise I'll be back to NC later but wanted to say a big Ole well done to south and inside for rocking a sober weekend and a big hug for spanna simply cos your awesome!!! As are you all xxxx

sweet thank you that's kind xx

Aw inside right back atcha. Your weekend sounded amazing, your twins sound amazing, little surprise as they are raised by an incredible woman such as yourself. You sound really really good and I love you to bits xxx

south my backgrounds in HR so whilst I'm by no means an expert I've seen a cv or two in my time....this website is helpful for hints, tips and templates career-advice.monster.co.uk/CVs-Applications/careers.aspx?intcid=swoop_Widget_Career_Advice_Top_CV_Tips

On a separate note how terribly sad about that mother being run over - how fragile life is. As you say - we need to truely live it rather than stumble through it in a foggy haze. A really moving post.

I'll write more later as am at work at the moment so in a bit of a rush. These posts help so much, thank you babes

south holy moly that poor woman. That is such a tragic story. It's like something out of a John Irving novel.

Well done on dry Jan so far babes. Apologies for non individual shout outs trying to lure kids out of bath to next stage of routine. Finally sleeping better apart from waking at 3am having a shrieking David Bowie in the Lazarus video nightmare. Did you SEE that?? So brave and so frightening. He was saying goodbye and we never knew.

Off to GP next week re gynae stuff thanks for hand holding. More later.

sweet let us know how parents evening goes.

isinde bloody well done.

How you feeling today Pop? Glad you have got a GP appointment. I am slightly in denial about the whole peri menopause stuff - every time I read about it I tick off the list of symptoms and say yep, that's me - but there doesn't really seem much one can do about it at this stage. Though not drinking has to be a good start.

Baby you are magnificent. You are so eloquent, you say everything from the heart before it has even got formulated in my head, but then I read what you say and go yes, yes, that's SO right, you are so brilliant, you say it for me and for so many others, and you have so much on your plate. Thank you for your honesty, humour, bravery and kindness.

South I'm not sure what sector you're in but my ha'penniworth on CVs is just to make them really focussed and really tailored to the specific job/employer - if that's humanly possible. I get so many generic ones across my desk - the ones that stand out are the ones that show that the applicant really has thought about my company and why they want to work here. That may or may not be logistically possible for you, depending on the industry and the number of applications you're making. But generally, I totally agree with Claret.

Oh, that poor, poor woman and her family - South, I hope you are ok. I haven't been able to get her out of my head so I imagine you who knew her must feel really unnerved and so sad. I am feeling ok and don't want a drink (amazingly), but everything is a bit raw and jumbled in my head at the moment, and that poor lady has got elided with Bowie and I'm just really very sad about it all in a vaguely helpless kind of way. Emotionally incontinent, really - clearly, neither of them are the root cause of anything, but they are catalysts for starting to feel again, rather than tamping down all real emotion with alcohol. Uncomfortable, but necessary and strangely healing, albeit in a not entirely pleasant way.

Where's Ma tonight - strutting in her dress? And Mouse - my thoughts are with you, you poor poor thing. How is Nemo.

Love to you all, babes.

PS - Indie - what you said about 'for ever'. That's me too. And no, it doesn't sound awful, it sounds brave and honest.

Checking in. I have been erm....working late. RAF ogling tonight. The dress arrived. OMG I LOVE it! But it clings to the belly bulge something rotten. I twirled in a sparkling haze of gorgeousness into the front room and DD said " Just one word, mum......Spanx!". I have work to do!
Indie 12 days is absolutely fecking awesome!!!!!!

Hi babes,

south I just read the post re the poor lady being killed, what a terrible terrible tragedy. I feel terribly guilty sometimes when I hear of such things, lovely, kind people going through terrible diseases or worse in this case and I think of the ridiculous, dangerous things I've done to myself, and it makes me shudder. Every day is a day we can never get back, a precious day with our loved ones and I've wasted many many of those days too pissed to care or too hungover to make that day count. I hope I can be a better person and use each day well to honour those cant.

small I'm not gonna lie, there was a few wee tears reading your beautiful post, so very kind of you. I really and truly just want to help and support anyone that has went through or heading for the long and truly horrible path I've travelled. I got so much support and love on here, I guess I just wanna pay it forward in some way. Thank you lovely lady xxx

ma love love love the dress and God Bless Spanx, I once tried to wear 2 pairs together and dropped my car keys and couldn't bloody bend down to pick them up, the things us girls do xxx

Morning Babes.

Well, DS managed to please and surprise me, all his teachers really rate him, although his effort can be patchy (a big improvement, means he does try sometimes), his English teacher wants him on his pub quiz team?!

Ma glad the dress lived up to expectations, just a thought, because I know you're moderating quite successfully, but giving up those one or two glasses for a week might make all the difference to your tummy.

South, that poor woman and her family. Pop, a John Irving novel, yes that is exactly it.

Baby, you are so lovely and generous, I really want to do you proud, (sniff).

Small I'm sorry it's feeling so raw for you, but hold on to your resolve, you're just a bit out of practice at the real.

I'm feeling ok and calm myself - unlike this time last year, I think the ADs are taking the edge off, Now if I could only get rid of this cold and the sinus pain that has kept me awake since 4 this morning.
Right, best get on, I have to get SweetDog to the vet for his (ahem), little op.

Have a good, AF or moderate days.