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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Brave Babes - Wrapping up for a Wonderful Winter

999 replies

venusandmars · 24/11/2015 16:31

Hi, I am venusandmars and I've been on these threads for many years.

It can be tough at this time of year when the adverts are full of families cheerfully opening bottles of wine and good cheer, when work parties are alcohol fuelled, when distant friends call round with a bottle in hand.

Maybe you're trying to cut down a little in the pre-Christmas weeks, maybe you are struggling to know how to continue with a longer period of abstinence, maybe you are waking up after a Christmas Party feeling sick and covered in shame (or even feeling shame and covered in sick).

Whatever, whenever, if you want to stop, or cut down, or simply share your struggle with others who also feel the tug..... please join us.

Usually our lovely mouseface opens these threads, but the poor mouse is sick in hospital and so I am overcoming the technophobia that a 50-something feels.... (well done me Chocolate ). Our last thread is here if you want to read the last few posts

And if you want to read the story from the beginning (you'll need a few weeks) HERE is where it all started when Jesuswhatnext posted in May 2010.

Welcome one and all x

OP posts:
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22
Fairenuff · 10/01/2016 12:24

Oh ma, he is in blissful ignorance. Lord Elgin indeed!

This might make you smile. On that penguins thread, they call the Boing 'Twatty sober Pollyanna syndrome' Grin

SweetLathyrus · 10/01/2016 14:58

Ma, you are a good, good person.

ClaretAndBlue30 · 10/01/2016 15:43

Hi babes, I've been lurking on this thread since before christmas and have since read back over many of the past threads and i just wanted to say, i am inspired by you all. I can relate wholeheartedly to so many of the things you have all spoken about.

I have never had a good relationship with alcohol - i have far too many mortifying alcohol related stories that i can't even think about them let alone write them down. My latest was getting so drunk on New Years Eve that I threw up in the hosts bath and made such a racket that i woke my 14 month old up and my husband had to sit up with her for 2hrs (IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT Blush as she couldn't settle back to sleep) and i remember absolutely nothing of it.

Writing that down has made me feel sick. I need to grow up for the sake of my daughter.

Anyway - this thread is so full of positivity and I have been feeling the wonderful effects of Dry January alongside many of you - how great is sleep when you aren't half cut???!! Yet the draw of a glass of wine still creeps up on a nightly basis....

Thanks babes for being so great, I hope you are all having a nice Sunday.

SweetLathyrus · 10/01/2016 16:04

Nice to meet you Claret, glad you are seeing and feeling the benefits, the pull of a cool glass will call you, but deflect, put it off while you have a drink of water, or tonic, or tea, just taking that time is often enough for the craving to subside.

ClaretAndBlue30 · 10/01/2016 16:47

Thanks sweet, hope you are feeling better.

Interestingly today I've eaten a bit more then on past days and the cravings not set in yet....

SweetLathyrus · 10/01/2016 16:58

Nothing another good night's sleep won't cure, Claret (are you a Villa fan?)

I find that eating is good for warding off cravings, especially if you don't let yourself get too hungry, or thirsty.

dementedma · 10/01/2016 17:04

Welcome claret
Thank you sweet.I'm not really, there is just no point at this stage making him confront the realities of what he has done. It just confuses him.

SweetLathyrus · 10/01/2016 17:29

It's that old therapy chestnut, isn't it? You can't change someone else, only your reaction to them.

SmallFox · 10/01/2016 17:33

that banana loaf is fab - thank you for the baking inspiration. Pretty foolproof too, though when DD upended the first attempt on her feet, I did have to grit my teeth through the mindful calm parenting bit.

ClaretAndBlue30 · 10/01/2016 17:36

West Ham sweet Smile although I might name change as it just makes me think of a bottle of red Confused

SouthPole · 10/01/2016 17:49

claret welcome! Aston Villa? Or West Ham?!

I can so relate to your drinking story. God, my NYE Eve drinking this/last year was a doozy - I didn't surface for two days afterwards and was hosting...the absolute SHAME.

But it passes, thank God.

Before that I was easily putting away at least a bottle of good white wine a night. Then maybe a G&T or vodka and coke. Or two.

Blacking out watching programmes and having to lie/pretend to husband I knew what the fuck was going on in the next episode...

So many drinking stories.

I prefer the sober ones.

Day 10 here and it has flown.

Vit B Complex and Epsom Slat baths I swear are helping. The baths perhaps because I'm in the bath at wine o clock and the vitamins are proven to help with the cravings.

Also changing my routine helped the wine witch (WW) or addicted voice (AV) fuck off. I am having a lovely fever tree tonic with a wedge of lime this evening in a wine glass. It is very, very tasty. And I'm not suffering from stem-withdrawal! My sister doesn't like to pretend to be drinking alcohol (she's a 14 month sober recovering alcoholic, we're all so proud of her) so maybe that little 'trick' isn't for everyone.

ma glad to see the moderation continue. Do you think it's about exercising? Practicing, you get better?

small are you ME?! Amazon and opening boxes with a "I totally know what this is" nonchalant look on my face, when I haven't a clue, was de riguer in this house!

I'm doing well today. So tired after my party on Fri and still reveling in having made it dry and how much fun everyone had. I'm still getting messages about it and my recycling bin looks pretty epic.

No cravings today. We have been busy though and like I said, I am having a nice drink out of a wine glass so maybe that's the key. But I think it's because I'm so tired that I am barely managing to run my active brain, never mind the sub-conscious in which the AV lives! So they aren't getting a look in tonight, which is a blessing.

I finished Sarah Hepola's book, Drinking To Forget The Things I Can't Remember and I really recommend it. Excellent read. Even for those who just want to read a great book, it's not a guide to getting dry, it's just her journey and it's a doozy.

Sobriety is proving a wonderful choice for me.

I don't know if it's going to be for just January or six more months or six more years or forever more. But I am loving it.

I am completely present in my parenting (which as a SAHM is my job). I am saving money. I am able to cook for my husband. I am not worried about whether I'm over the limit on the school run (in the morning, I'd not quite got to the stage of drinking in the afternoon during a school day but I was definitely going to get there with time). I am so proud of myself and happy with my party the other night. I did so well with hosting it. I was able to remember all of it. No cringey over shares or crying or fighting or breakages... I was able to tidy before bed which was amazing as usually it would be a "fuck it" job for the morning, when I was feeling like stone cold death - not even death warmed up!

So. Sober South is really working out.

One day at a time.

Good luck babes - remember, cravings do not last, like hunger. They do not get worse. They pass. As I said above, when I was welcoming my first guest the other night and made her up a cocktail I was sorely tempted to join in but I gave myself an hour. If I still felt like it in one hour, I'd have one. But it passed...I got busy, sure. But I got myself a tonic drink and did something else. And it passed.

Just break it down into manageable chunks for now. Practice being sober, especially when you don't want to be! And it will get easier.

SouthPole · 10/01/2016 17:51

Ah! The footy question already answered whilst I composed my tome...

ClaretAndBlue30 · 10/01/2016 19:25

south I cannot tell you how many times I've also had to pretend to remember tv programmes - I know someone else mentioned it but basically the last series of breaking bad is a blur to me! Along with numerous others....

Huge well done on your sober hosting too, it must feel awesome to not have to worry about how you were - it still haunts me that people might have thought I was drinking too much at my dd's birthday party (I was, but not terribly so)

I'm alone tonight as dh is out watching Star Wars and normally this'd be a prime 'down a bottle of wine and get to bed before he gets home and realises I'm a bit squiffy' moment but instead I'm going to watch a film and perhaps do some of my adult colouring book Smile

Have a good evening all

Fairenuff · 10/01/2016 20:03

Good idea Claret Smile

I've found my documents btw babes. No, I'm not a computer whiz, I just turned it on and they were there! Obviously it just needed to restart. I didn't even think of that Blush

Isinde are you back home yet? How did your weekend go?

Isindemoodforspring · 10/01/2016 21:13

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Isindemoodforspring · 10/01/2016 21:15

This reply has been deleted

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dementedma · 10/01/2016 21:27

indie I'm expecting swagger sticks to me standing to attention at the very least.

evilpopstar · 10/01/2016 22:06

Well done all. Sorry that be an arse and bring down the mood but I feel tired, grumpy and s bit bloody swizzled by not feeling benefits at the end of day 7! I honestly feel like I've got mild flu. Now, have I got mild flu, is it peri menopausal stuff that was previously masked by booze or is it still booze withdrawal??? Help and advice welcome. isinde well done love that would have been an easy situation in which to allow yourself some alcohol.

NoAprilFool · 11/01/2016 06:47

What are your symptoms pop?
Hope you had some decent sleep and are feeling a bit better today

SweetLathyrus · 11/01/2016 07:05

Morning All.

Isinde, what a lovely weekend, so pleased it was a good and sober one for you.

'Swagger sticks'

Pop, are you sure you don't have a cold or flu? The DCs have been back at school for a week - prime time for it.

I had another early night, and better, but not undisturbed sleep, I have a raging sore throat, but the difference is, sober I have the strength to battle through it and get on with life rather than giving up for the day.

First day of the teaching term for me (hope the voice holds out).

Just heard that David Bowie died, I'm in a bit of shock.

evilpopstar · 11/01/2016 07:37

David Bowie. My hero. Loved the last album glad he got it out. Devastated.

SmallFox · 11/01/2016 07:42

Pop never feel you have to apologise: that's not the point of this bus. Are you feeling any perkier today? Hope so.

Blimey, David Bowie - like you, Sweet, a bit stunned. 7yo DD burst into tears on hearing the news: her little sister shouted 'Boys Keep Swinging' and burst into tears too wailing 'but I'm a girl'. You can tell their early years have been well spent, music-wise. Very sad news, hope his family get privacy and respect. Hard, though, as he really was a proper icon so feels like he very slightly belonged to everyone, although that is of course plainly rubbish.

NoAprilFool · 11/01/2016 07:45

I'm really shocked by the news about David Bowie. Celebrity deaths don't usually bother me, other than a passing thought for those that loved them, but this has been a real shock

SweetLathyrus · 11/01/2016 11:34

You have such well brought up DC, Small!

I just played Black Star for the first time yesterday, Pop, and loved it, though it's not exactly feel good music, now I know why.

That's exactly how I felt, April.

Whistle73 · 11/01/2016 13:32

Hello all, I'll keep this brief cos I'm really busy at work today.
Just checking in to see how we all got on this weekend. I managed a short run on Friday night, drove to a friends for dinner and then on to a presentation evening on Saturday night and went for another run yesterday evening.
So all good here, still suffering a few side effects though - very vivid dreams is one of them - I feel like I've lived another day when I wake up in the morning! Maybe that's my brain trying to make up for all the blackouts I've suffered in the past Shock.
But I'm still here, still alcohol free on Day 8 and feeling good.
Keep posting - it's all helping massively.

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