Brave Babes - Wrapping up for a Wonderful Winter

[venusandmars]

Hi, I am venusandmars and I've been on these threads for many years.

It can be tough at this time of year when the adverts are full of families cheerfully opening bottles of wine and good cheer, when work parties are alcohol fuelled, when distant friends call round with a bottle in hand.

Maybe you're trying to cut down a little in the pre-Christmas weeks, maybe you are struggling to know how to continue with a longer period of abstinence, maybe you are waking up after a Christmas Party feeling sick and covered in shame (or even feeling shame and covered in sick).

Whatever, whenever, if you want to stop, or cut down, or simply share your struggle with others who also feel the tug..... please join us.

Usually our lovely mouseface opens these threads, but the poor mouse is sick in hospital and so I am overcoming the technophobia that a 50-something feels.... (well done me ). Our last thread is here if you want to read the last few posts

And if you want to read the story from the beginning (you'll need a few weeks) HERE is where it all started when Jesuswhatnext posted in May 2010.

Welcome one and all x

Morning All.

Baby you are brilliant, much respect and love to you .

Fox, Margie I'll add my little story of yesterdays patient mothering too. DS dropped a can of coke on the living room carpet (another cream horror thanks to previous owners he started to apologise profusely and panic, because I would usually snap about carelessness and harumph and generally be a misery. I just said don't worry, cleaned it up and sailed happily through the rest of breakfast. It's the little things that stop being stressful and just become part of getting on with everyday life.

Anne, the important thing is, you did it; next time will be easier.

Lovely to see you again Anne

Have a great day babes, off to work now, see you later.

Day 4 then. Still headachey. Slightly better nights sleep. Onwards and upwards. Nice to see you anne.

isinde day 7 that is a quite stunning a achievement!! If I get there I will be delighted. We need a day 7 dance!

I also meant to say the comment about things moving out of the corner of your eye, that freaked me out sooo much, thought I was hallucinating while detoxing, it's very weird and unnerving. Anxiety is my middle name and although I'm some fairly strong meds for bipolar, u found Dr Bachs rescue remedy incredibly helpful, the little drops were brilliant for me. I thought it might be placebo but I've recommended it to friends and they also swear by it. It tastes horrid but it's worth a try. Thiamin is also recommended for withdrawal, it's often used with medical withdrawal so maybe worth a look. In the early days I spent my weekly wine saving on a treat for myself, it really felt good to have a facial, massage, new hair cut, things we would never allow ourselves without feeling indulgent. Get a spray tan, buy good makeup, a new hand bag, those boots you love, reward yourself for the amazing changes your making cos you know what you bloody well deserve it.

Lastly I'm now 3 stone overweight (thank god I'm tall), the bipolar meds have caused a big weight gain BUT you need to pick your battles. I'm sane, sober and stable and as I continue to grow stronger so will my resolve and determination to get the weight back off. It's a process and as long as we keep trying, keep supporting each other and keep believing in ourselves we will will get to where we want to be, it's not a race we're in this for the long haul so stay strong, stay close and stay fabulous!!!!
Xxx

Checking in on day 7. Sleep has improved, am getting lovely restful deep sleep and waking without feeling anxious. That in itself is a massive reward. During the day my mind veers from 'surely January must be over by now' to 'I am glad that it is January and I don't have to negotiate whether to drink or not'.

Spanna bingo and quizzes, just imagining you and your oldies makes me smile! Have a good day flower. X

Sweet well remembered! It was stained glass and in fact I bought some old windows earlier in the year for the next project so may try and get back in the mindset . Your son's reaction to the Coke spillage is just like my eldest - panic, apologies and beating himself up. Mostly I suspect from me being impatient in the past with similar accidents. Makes me so ashamed . Today's aim - more patience.

Love to all babes - just keep swimming, just keep swimming

Hello and happy new year to all!

Can I join, please? I'm on day 4 of giving up massive long-term wine habit and apart from feeling bit more tired and emotional than usual am.....I think...doing ok and starting to get into it.

I had been feeling awful through drinking far too much over xmas period and had started shaking in day/panic attacks/anxiety. really need to stop and not fail at this like I have so many times before (( trying to think of it as just a habit I have fallen into as I aim to be able to have a drink (within safe limits!) in the future (but no way yet could I contemplate that)

worry so much about the damage I've done to my body too. anyway, hello and hope to be on here every day to just check-in. )

Hi Poodle! Welcome. This is a great place to be for hand-holding and encouragement.

Day 7, can't bloody believe it!

Welcome poodle. Main thing is you are limiting the damage every AF free day you have so well done for taking action.

Hello Poodle I'm on Day 4 too - like quite a few on here it seems, giving up on New Year's Day was just too much to cope with. Instead I watched a film on Sunday night with several G and Ts and a very nice bottle of red and said my goodbyes to alcohol until April at least.
Hope you are all doing OK, I'm feeling positive and determined still. I know I can do this.
I've told as many people as I can that I'm off the booze, it really helps.

poodle welcome! I found myself where you were also, anxiety, shakes..urgh! Anyway, day 7 for me and am feeling great. Have some other stuff to deal with (I am a spend thrift and have managed somehow to fritter away huge amounts without husband knowing!) but nothing challenging was made easier with a drink in me, and saving all that money I would have been pouring down my throat like a fish, helps a lot.

Luckily, the body and liver especially, repairs itself if you let it and by bein off it, we are letting it so kudos to you (and us!).

baby loved loved loved your post. Please stay with us and you are right, one thing at a time...

whistle I've also told everyone I'm off it. In a jokey "God I was pickled over the holidays...time to get off it for a while and let the old liver recover"...kinda way. But it is the truth. The real truth is that I can't moderate and not having to have the same fucking fight with myself over and over again is so refreshing. I'm just not drinking at the moment.

No one can quite believe it, especially as I've got this party to host tomorrow night!

My good gin and tonic arrived today, love Amazon Prime! So the girls will be happy with that.

I'm actually getting some other stuff done too, now that I'm not all fuggy from the hangover. I've asked a local company who specialise in the area I qualified in if they have any vacancies at the moment. My littlest is in nursery three days a week and, along with my prolific spending of my husband's money (I know, I know, it's our money, but I feel how I feel) has made me want to get back to work and financially contribute to the household as opposed to draining it.

I cannot for the life of my find my CV so will have to draft one from scratch (argh! help!) but that's ok. New start etc.

Anyway, I digress. My point is I am not just existing or surviving. I am living and planning. I am beginning to become pro-active (procrastination, much?!) - I am thinking about the future, not just getting through the fucking day so I can crack a bottle at 5...4.45...4.30pm...!

Sleep is better. Much more patient parenting. Easier to get out in the morning. Not necking 1200 calories in liquid from 6 - 12...not passing out on the couch or in bed. Improved relations with the husband, in and out of the bed as we go to bed at the same time. My weight will follow for sure but I am eating too many biccies at the mo. But picking my battles!

Good luck babes, keep on keeping on my loves. Every day brings a better way of living. I promise. Alcohol never brings anything positive to our lives. It is a thief of dignity, time, patience, health...name it.

What an articulate bunch you are, it's great hearing how everyone is getting on.

Do you know why I think we might be having lots of success in January? It's simply because we believe we can do it. We believe in ourselves and therefore we're doing it. We're doing it babes!

(Don't fuck it up )

Great post south. I am also feeling mega productive which is a relief as due to move house in 10 weeks after nearly a decade here.

However , I've still got a bloody headache! At least I am feeling a bit more attached to my body and the corner of the eye thing has gone but my head really aches. I keep looking at my face for signs if glow/ improvement. But not yet. Guess I just need to keep going but I sure wouldn't mind some kind if physical boing at some point!!!!

Evening.

Welcome Poodle

Faire I am holding on to my mint tea for dear life in an attempt to avoid 'fucking up'. I have been obsessing about having 'just one lemon vodka' for hours. It's beginning to subside, but it has been grim.

Toxins are definitely clearing out though, got a couple of corking spots on my nose and cheek.

Stay with me you lot.

You guys are awesome. Day 7?????
indie proud of you mate!
Haven't made day 1 yet.....but I am soldier ogling tomorrow so that might inspire me....

I'm going to re-introduce 'Face pack Friday' tomorrow if anyone wants to join me. A little bit of beauty treatment never hurts and maybe it will bring out that glow pop?

I used 'self care' as a distraction quite a lot when I started cutting down. Putting ourselves first is something that we often fail to do but remember what they tell you on aeroplanes - get your own oxygen sorted first before trying to help others.

Same goes for life really. If we are well rested, well nourished, appreciated (at least by ourselves if no-one else) and a little pampered, we will be in a better place to deal with the daily grind.

So, specialist teas and facepacks. Friday treats. What do we think?

Sweet get yourself a mantra.

'I'm not drinking today. The decision is made. I don't want to drink. I am happier not drinking. I am GOLD' (I added that last one after hearing it on the radio this morning:

Nothing left to make me feel small
Luck has left me standing so tall

Gold
Always believe in your soul
You've got the power to know
You're indestructible
Always believe in, because you are
Gold
Glad that you're bound to return
There's something I could have learned
You're indestructible, always believing

In fact, if you can, play it loud and sing along but change the words to I'm indestructable.

That we me in the car this morning

Faire you DO Not want to hear me sing, I can clear rooms, but I love it . . . 'in-dis-truck-t-buuuuul.

It's definitely passed now, so day 7 is in the bag, and I will be with you for Face-mask Friday.

Ma is it a posh frock do, or a business meeting?

Mouse, how are you doing now, lovely babe?

Nice one sweet. I am feeling like one gin and tonic would take the pain away ... But I like the self pamper idea so am going to have a long hot shower and a hair treatment when first DD is in bed and then a gin free tonic and a Thai style chicken / cashew stir fry. And another early night. Haven't done a Friday with no booze since october 2014. The worst part is I know when it was and it was when i did sober October as a Macmillan fundraiser . And have not been sober for more than three days since.

Today is going to smash that record pop

Pop, you can do it, you'll feel better tomorrow, and have lovely swishy hair to go with it!

Business, more's the pity...so no getting the norks out!
Although I do have a business meeting in Whitehall later this month with some very tasty chaps. Might need to make a bit of an effort for that one.....
Good to see Facepack Friday back. I think we should all post a photo - we will be unrecognisable covered in goo anyway.

Yay, I'm up for facepack Friday too. Am feeling so energetic today I might even make the facepack out of whatever healthy gunk you're supposed to make facepacks out of (avocados?). Am trying to save money as well as cut out the booze. And I do have a lot of spare avocados.

Faire love, love, love that - thanks!

DD2 and I were dancing along to Somewhere in My Heart earlier and when it got to 'love will see you through' I got quite teary - today it least it feels like love will see me through, love for those little people whose utter trusting dependence makes me want to be well, be strong, be sober and be there for them (for a long time). Oh and for DP too, I guess . Damn it, I've gone all sentimental again. Am positively incontinent with emotion at the moment.

South, are you going to wear a facepack for the party tomorrow? Seriously - stay strong, stay brave - I think you are being utterly fab about it (and about everything else, by the sound of it).

Sweet - glad the temptation has finally passed for the day. I'd offer to compare spots, but it might get a bit personal.

Am absurdly excited about going to bed. To sleep (obv). The last couple of nights have reminded me that I have not really slept properly since I started drinking again last July. I can't wait for that heavy, drifty torpor to take over, and to sleep through without paranoid, sweaty 2am hyper-anxious tossing and turning and mental self-flagellation. Hope that hasn't jinxed it.

Happy evening, all.

Sounds weird , but I've been enjoying waking up without painful toes. Had convinced myself I'd finally got gout. Aged 46. small you are amazing.