Brave Babes - Wrapping up for a Wonderful Winter

[venusandmars]

Hi, I am venusandmars and I've been on these threads for many years.

It can be tough at this time of year when the adverts are full of families cheerfully opening bottles of wine and good cheer, when work parties are alcohol fuelled, when distant friends call round with a bottle in hand.

Maybe you're trying to cut down a little in the pre-Christmas weeks, maybe you are struggling to know how to continue with a longer period of abstinence, maybe you are waking up after a Christmas Party feeling sick and covered in shame (or even feeling shame and covered in sick).

Whatever, whenever, if you want to stop, or cut down, or simply share your struggle with others who also feel the tug..... please join us.

Usually our lovely mouseface opens these threads, but the poor mouse is sick in hospital and so I am overcoming the technophobia that a 50-something feels.... (well done me ). Our last thread is here if you want to read the last few posts

And if you want to read the story from the beginning (you'll need a few weeks) HERE is where it all started when Jesuswhatnext posted in May 2010.

Welcome one and all x

Talking about health kicks , my mum have me £50 for Xmas and I've put it towards s nutribullet which arrives tomorrow. Bit expensive but will definitely be getting my 5 a day. Could also smear some on my face

I have visions of our pets all trying to lick our faces tomorrow night

Yes ma, bonus points for anyone brave enough to post a photo.

Small, you have spare avocado? chuck 'em my way! You sound so much brighter today.

Looking forward to my bed too.

Pop - if I'm amazing (doubtful) then so are you. In fact, I wonder if I am you (I am 46 too) - I have also been thinking the same about toes but couldn't quite face posting more weird Foxy symptoms. And I have a nutribullet too (they are fab)(but not for face packs). If the party gets too much tomorrow just come over here and pretend to be me for a while ;-)

Ha that's brilliant fox. I will be with you in ( non alcoholic) spirit tomorrow night. Hang tough. I'll be right here on MN if you need me. I'll be playing with my newly arrived nutribullet

Well done for getting through it Sweet.

South, you sound amazing, so focused and determined and positive, you go girl!

Pop, I agree, booze-free Fridays and Saturdays are an alien concept to me too but I reckon we just have to substitute the booze for something else good ie. Faire's face-pack or ice-cream or whatever floats your boat!

I go back to work on Monday and I'm dreading it, not really the job itself but it's very stressful and full-on so my automatic reaction when I get home is to pour myself a drink. I definitely need a reliable plan B.

Really loving sleep too! I love the sensation of actually falling asleep, rather than just passing out with only hazy memories of getting there! And then waking up at 2 or 3am and spending two hours wide awake gulping water and worrying about stupid things!

Hi, all, thanks for your lovely welcomes and what a great place this is!!

I too am excited about falling asleep IN BED with a cleansed and moisturised face, clean teeth, hydrated, reading, maybe a shag;)

A drink I find really helps me stay feeling non-boozy is a massive mug of warm water with slice of fresh lemon and ginger in. I glug it all day as find it hard to drink loads of cold water (the irony !!)

Fab idea face-pack friday. My skin definitely looking so much better even at this early stage. Have been working out that I too have been easily consuming 1000 cals upwards a day in wine!!! Gross. Am slim but usually compensate with food so can drink wine! Face I'm sure is bloated.

Video is AMAZING idea - mine starts with classily sipping a class of pinot noir always culminates with smoking sneakkily outside then panicking all night am gonna get lung cancer. ((

ps I can't remember the last time since breastfeeding youngest child that I didn't drink for more than 2-3 days, so am well pleased to be going to bed sober on day 4!

when does this tiredness pass? so tired!! am eating so well, little bit of exercise (walking) and taking multi vits so really hope I perk up soon.

also have a real emotional time when it would be wine o'clock, just v emotional, either tearful or angry or low. does that pass? hope so. ok again now my weak spot has passed!

Indie, your plans for the weekend sound good, I like the forewarning to your Dad that you won't be drinking. And good on you for not drinking around your Mum's anniversary, I always drink shitloads around the anniversary of my Mum's death and then end up even sadder and more morose than I would be anyway. And Saturday night sounds great, I find the pressure to drink from those around me is the hardest thing to say no to.

I agree with everyone on the sleep thing, it feels so good to get a proper night's sleep and wake up without a fuzzy head.

And poodle yes, yes, yes to sober sex...

My own personal history has had alcohol and sex inextricably linked, but what a joy to discover the delights of sex without booze....

Sleep well babes.

Ok I'm off to bed fully sober at the end of day 4 slathered in clarins night cream. I fully expect to wake up looking about 32. Or my money back

Night ladies. You are wonderful.

joey are you out there petal? Missing you

Amazing work pop and by the way, if you wake up looking 32 tomorrow then I want the EXACT details of cream used

Happy Friday Morning All

I'm having to set an alarm I'm sleeping so well.

I'd like to suggest that everyone takes a little time out to reread the posts from Jan 1st to now, the change is quite amazing, from down, miserable and guilty to treating ourselves well and brimming with positivity. We've got a long way to go, but we've come so far already .

Sweet, you are so right re positivity of posting. Well done to all day 7'ers!

Poodle the general consensus reading back (and certainly my own experience) is that the tiredness fades a bit after day 4/5 and the 'good' sleep starts kicking back in. I am sure there are good physiological reasons for this. There's quite a lot on my mind at the moment, but that's not stopping me snuggling down to my glorious 8 (or 10 last night) hours. It is such a luxury. I think I am having so much sleep that I am actually more tired as a result, but I am not going to worry about that. I am determined to cut myself some slack on everything other than booze right now.

How did you all feel hearing all the headlines about 'safe' alcohol limits (or not) this morning? It had been pretty widely trailed, but even so when I'm drinking I determinedly turn off all radios and refuse to read papers when headlines like that are on and just go into a burrow of denial. Today it was of course sobering (ha) to hear the stats etc, but I could at least face listening, feeling good that I am trying to put all that behind me, and giving me an incentive to look forward and stay on this path, rather than an excuse to look back and beat myself up about the lost times.

So, things I have learned, or re-learned in week 1:-

1. I am nicer than I gave myself credit for being;
2. It is not normal (yes, you too Pop) to wake up with sore toes every morning;
3. It is amazing to do simple things without a feeling of dull deadness or dread or anxiety in my head all the time - to live in the moment, even if the moment involves changing the DC's bedsheets after another accident..I hope I don't ever get tired of this feeling;
4. It is not all roses - things feel raw and painful without alcohol to blunt the edges, but at least that is real, honest emotion;
5. It is not normal for the liver-side of my body to ache (hmm);
6. My family is also much nicer (or at least appears to be) when I am not drinking (duh, who knew);
7. I am looking forward to a weekend where I am not going to spend all morning wondering how soon I can have a drink, and not sneaking around concealing wine in coffee mugs (yes, that old chestnut again);
8. The day is longer than I thought it was, and you can get an awful lot done if you are not gently sozzled by 2pm;
9. I don't have to justify not drinking. This is my decision, made for me and it is no-one else's business. If it comes up, I just say no, I'm not drinking, and that's an end to it;

10. You babes are all amazing, I am so thankful to and for you.

See you later, hope you all have lovely treat-y days. Pop - fingers crossed for your party. How're the face masks coming on? I blitzed most of my spare avocados in the Nutribullet but kept one back for face-smearing..

Morning fabulous people,

Mega cramp and feeling exhausted but off for a facial (without guilt) so I'm looking forward to that!!!

Just wanted to reiterate sweet's fab post. The difference in mood from all of you is astounding, please read back and celebrate how the mood of the posts changing in a matter of days is remarkable. So proud of all of you, your all amazing and brave and everything good about this magical bus xxxx

Small, yes to all of those, but particularly number 8, I could also add;

11. Being responsible and picking up dog poo doesn't have to be vomit inducing.
12. Brushing your hair every day (not just when you wash it) is normal and easy.
13. I can look in the mirror and smile.
14. I can get into the car in the morning without the worry I might still be over the limit.

So, yes, just a week can make an amazing difference, but I couldn't feel complacent about the new alcohol recommendations, I know I have been abusing my body for years; I blush furiously when ever I hear those reports.

Baby, indulge yourself, you will be glowing inside and out .

My first week savings have bought me some new dog walking kit, and there is still some left to go into the 'project living room' kitty - the manky cream (with stitched patterns) carpet is on its way out

Morning, all )
Yep, ditto, SO difficult to wake up in the morning! Loving the sleep and not waking up with fear and dread at 3am (

interesting, fox, about tiredness fading! gonna have to stay focused this weekend and concentrate on how good I feel... haven't lost a lb yet though!! weird, thought it would drop off!

gonna watch the footie tonight with the family a mug of mint tea and face mask on )) xx

I took a look at some of the articles on the new guidelines, SmallFox, and they made for an interesting read. I've definitely avoided them as well over the years. I'm glad that they've updated the guidelines (first full review since '95, apparently, they must have had to sort through so much research!) even if looking at the numbers still makes me uneasy.

I like your list and 4 is something I've struggled with- too often there'll be a bad time and I'll throw my hands up and wonder what the point of bothering is if I still feel bad. But that's part of life and crap times pass or can be chipped away at, and the problems don't get any better when I drink, or binge on junk, or lie around all day and ignore everything that needs to be done. I'm tired of using problems as an excuse to retreat back into the comfort zone of old rubbish habits.

Also, I decided to go back and look at the posts from January 1st like SweetLathyrus and others suggested, then got caught up in the posts and typed out a bunch of responses to stuff from four days ago. Oops.

Good luck to everyone today. Hope all the tired feel better soon.

Poodle, I have put a pound on this week, BUT, I have lost an inch from my waist because the bloating has gone down. The same happened last year, by the end of January I was losing half a kilo a week with no effort, I just didn't need the crap any more.

Gorilla, you can post whatever you want, it doesn't just have to be a response to today .

oh, that's good to know, sweet...I haven't been eating anything to compensate for no alcohol other than a couple of squares dark chocolate in the evening so can't see how can have put ON actual weight..

I'm reading Glass half Full by Lucy Rocca at the moment - amazing read, if you haven't already read it x

yes, getting used to not turning to wine when stressed is so hard. gonna resume bit more exercise next week when used to not drinking

foxy my party is going to be ace I will be the most fantastic person there - sober and sparkling ! On a serious note - good luck love , it's totally possible to host without drinking. I did it at my 40th whilst 10 weeks pregnant after two miscarriages ! Slightly different scenario but it made me think of that for some reason. I'll smear some pulped kale on my face in support